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Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited Hardcover – October 2, 2007

by Elyse Schein (Author), Paula Bernstein (Author)
4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 1,418 ratings
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Elyse Schein had always known she was adopted, but it wasn’t until her mid-thirties while living in Paris that she searched for her biological mother. When Elyse contacted her adoption agency, she was not prepared for the shocking, life-changing news she received: She had an identical twin sister. Elyse was then hit with another bombshell: she and her sister had been separated as infants, and for a time, had been part of a secret study on separated twins.

Paula Bernstein, a married writer and mother living in New York, also knew she was adopted, but had no inclination to find her birth mother. When she answered a call from the adoption agency one spring afternoon, Paula’s life suddenly divided into two starkly different periods: the time before and the time after she learned the truth.

As they reunite and take their tentative first steps from strangers to sisters, Paula and Elyse are also left with haunting questions surrounding their origins and their separation. They learn that the study was conducted by a pair of influential psychiatrists associated with a prestigious adoption agency. As they investigate their birth mother’s past, Paula and Elyse move closer toward solving the puzzle of their lives.

In alternating voices, Paula and Elyse write with emotional honesty about the immediate intimacy they share as twins and the wide chasm that divides them as two complete strangers. Interweaving eye-opening studies and statistics on twin science into their narrative, they offer an intelligent and heartfelt glimpse into human nature.

Identical Strangers is the amazing story of two women coming to terms with the strange and unbelievable hand fate has dealt them, an account that broadens the definition of family and provides insight into our own DNA and the singularly exceptional imprint it leaves on our lives.

Imagine a slightly different version of you walks across the room, looks you in the eye and says “hello” in your voice. You discover that she has the same birthday, the same allergies, the same tics, and the same way of laughing. Looking at this person, you are able to gaze into your own eyes and see yourself from the outside. This identical individual has the exact same DNA as you and is essentially your clone.
We don’t have to imagine.
–fromIdentical Strangers

"A transfixing memoir."--Publishers Weekly
"Poignant."--Reader's Digest
"Absorbing."--Wired
"Fascinating . . . An intelligent exploration of how identity intersects with bloodlines. A must-read for anybody interested in what it means to be a family."--Bust
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  1. Print length
    288 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Random House
  4. Publication date
    October 2, 2007
  5. Dimensions
    6.5 x 1.07 x 9.6 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1400064961
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1400064960
  8. See all details
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Customer reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
1,418 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the story interesting, fascinating, and mesmerizing. They describe the writing as well-written, compelling, and candid. Readers appreciate the information on twin studies and nature vs. nurture.

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Story qualityWriting qualityInformation qualityAuthenticity
104 customers mention "Story quality"99 positive5 negative

Customers find the story interesting, mesmerizing, and impressive. They say the book holds their interest on every page and provides valuable insight into the world of twins. Readers also mention the women are good writers and introspective.

"...This book is very well researched and full of twin-related information." Read more

"...So, on the whole, this is a very impressive book and if I were rating it on the intelligence of the book and the handling of the subject matter, I..." Read more

"...A good read, although the dual points of view did take some getting used to at first...." Read more

"...I found the book to be fascinating and well written by Stacie Elyse and by her sister, Paula...." Read more

43 customers mention "Writing quality"40 positive3 negative

Customers find the book well-written, experienced, and gifted. They say the authors are candid about their feelings, both positive and negative. Readers also mention the book is easy to read and the authors don't hold back.

"...both have had careers in writing, it is not surprising that the writing is very good...." Read more

"...I found the book to be fascinating and well written by Stacie Elyse and by her sister, Paula...." Read more

"...The book is well written...." Read more

"...Both women are amazingly creative and honest with their fears about weight, loneliness, life and the journey their adoptions brought them through...." Read more

20 customers mention "Information quality"17 positive3 negative

Customers find the book very informative, well-researched, and clearly written. They say it includes a lot of information on twin studies and provides good insight into identical twins and nature vs. nurture. Readers also mention the authors did an amazing job of putting this information together.

"...This book is very well researched and full of twin-related information." Read more

"...This book was very informative and I would recommend it to anyone interested in twins. I learned a lot!" Read more

"...Both Elyse and Paula, deeply intelligent and perceptive women, set out to find out what they can about their origins and the study...." Read more

"...The results were fascinating. Twins often married similar spouses, entered similar careers, had similar dogs...." Read more

5 customers mention "Authenticity"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book honest, captivating, and real.

"...They are direct and honest about the story of their separation and re-uniting, and make us all stop and think about how much of what our lives have..." Read more

"...This was a good, honest, investigatoryaccount of why these identical twins were separated at birth...." Read more

"...This is not a feel good story, but it's honest...." Read more

"...The families of these two women, both biological and adopted, are real and touchingly drawn...." Read more

Twins Separated at Birth to Participate in Study
5 out of 5 stars
Twins Separated at Birth to Participate in Study
A 35-year-old woman who was adopted as an infant sets out to find her birth mother and instead discovers that she has an identical twin. This is their story of learning to love each other as they test the bonds of shared DNA. It is a wonderful story with no sugar coating that explores the truth about nature vs. nurture. I have always been fascinated by the twin bond, and while I abhor the thought of anyone separating siblings, much less twins, the conclusions are fascinating.
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Top reviews from the United States

what.it.is
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, compelling, stunning read
Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2018
Verified Purchase
Could not put it down. As someone who works in the field of child custody, and as the wife of an adoptee who recently found his birth mother, it really hit home for me. It’s absolutely stunning to think that these innocent children were cogs in a wheel, guinea pigs in an experiment to see whether nature (hereditary mental illness) or nurture would play a larger role in the shaping of the persona. I give a huge amount of credit to the sister authors. They documented their feelings in real time, through emails and journal entries, and were able to access and tell their innermost feelings during those early days of reunion. From resentment at seeing another make the same facial expressions and exhibit the same mannerisms, to a feeling to falling in love, to defensiveness about their families, to wishing that they had been raised together, and on a much smaller level, to wishing they had never known of the other- all of it is laid bare. It’s horrifying to think of the, being part of a study, an experiment. Truly a must read if you have seen the movie Three Identical Strangers. This book is very well researched and full of twin-related information.
26 people found this helpful
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D. Safir
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent memoir of separated twins and their rediscovery
Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2018
Verified Purchase
This will be a short review. The other reviewers have really gone into much depth. This is not my usual kind of book. I usually read novels, suspense, mystery, etc. I got this book on the recommendation of a friend and because the subject matter sounded intriguing. It is written in the first person, alternating from one twin to the other. As both have had careers in writing, it is not surprising that the writing is very good. I found the beginning fascinating, as the twins discover each other and begin to correspond, talk on the phone and finally meet. Exploring the similarities and differences between the two was something I was fascinated with.

But then the book veered off into both a search for information on the causes of the separation by the Jewish adoption agency, the psychological study into these twins and accounts of other twins that they researched. While most other readers found this intriguing, I found this middle part of the book to drag. That's probably just me. I agree that this is a very important topic, it just lost my interest for a while.

Then, after finding out what they could about the adoption and the study, and satisfied that they found out all they need to know, it goes on to their search for their birth mother. This, again, captured my interest and became like a mystery novel. So, on the whole, this is a very impressive book and if I were rating it on the intelligence of the book and the handling of the subject matter, I could have given this five stars. But due to the slowness of the middle section, and my lack of interest in the details they were search for, I am giving this a solid four stars.
9 people found this helpful
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Chaimomma
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting story
Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2024
Verified Purchase
Elyse and Paula, twins separated as young babies, discover that they are twins when they are in their 30’s. At times their story was hard to follow and keep straight, especially when they went in-depth into some of the medical research that was conducted. I was more interested in learning about their experiences and life growing up and comparing the similarities and differences between them. The technical information was a bit boring to me and seemed to drag on too long. Overall the book was ok, not exactly what I expected, but an interesting read.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoughts from an identical twin.
Reviewed in the United States on September 3, 2024
Verified Purchase
Being an identical twin for 80 years we have had quite a lot of very unique experiences. We were always very close but each identified as a single person. We are very much alike but also have our differences. We don’t live close now but talk several times a week and get together as often as we can. This book was very informative and I would recommend it to anyone interested in twins. I learned a lot!
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Heidi D.
4.0 out of 5 stars Truth Often Stranger Than Fiction
Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2018
Verified Purchase
Identical Strangers chronicles the story of Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein adopted into loving families in the late 1960. The story would end there, but for the fact that Elyse conducted what she thought was a routine adoption search and was told that she had an identical twin. Identical Strangers is their story, but also the story of what happens when research runs amok. Elyse and Paula were initially part of a research study, presumably to look at the role of nature versus nurture in childrearing. While the pair was eventually excluded from the study, the adoptive families were not told that their daughters were actually twins.

Many of you will have seen Three Identical Strangers, the story of triplets who were part of the same study. Reading this book, and seeing that documentary, raises disturbing questions. Why would the researchers separate twins (who bond so quickly and deeply). Were the children actually being studied to look at familial mental illness? Were the families intentionally given children who could easy develop a debilitating mental illness, such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, and not told that this could be the case.

Both Elyse and Paula, deeply intelligent and perceptive women, set out to find out what they can about their origins and the study. While denied access to study materials, and forced to make some suppositions based on their own interviews, what they find is both deeply disturbing and also thought provoking.

A good read, although the dual points of view did take some getting used to at first. As a psychologist myself, I hope that the writing process allowed these brave women to work through their origins and come to some sense of peace.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

patricia Finn
4.0 out of 5 stars Amazing true story
Reviewed in Canada on September 27, 2018
Verified Purchase
This story of two identical twin girls separated from each other shortly after birth and how they find each other after many years is remarkable , but sad.Imagine them being guinea pigs for a stupid study by psychologists to gather data.It is mind boggling that this could happen even in 1968.
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60's kid
5.0 out of 5 stars So interesting
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 1, 2017
Verified Purchase
I was so interested to read the true story about the twins who were separated from birth and adopted separately. What a tradegy that it was considered a good thing to separate twins, and thank goodness the practice doesn't exist today. I was so interested to hear the twins story and that they had some ambivalent feeliongs about being reunited. A very good read, especially knowing that it was true.
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Sazz
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating!
Reviewed in Australia on October 21, 2021
Verified Purchase
A very interesting story. Not only does the story follow the twins developing relationship but it also provides informative historical information along the way.
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Sharon Cee
4.0 out of 5 stars Book Review
Reviewed in Canada on October 17, 2018
Verified Purchase
I found the book very interesting and very sad, but I would highly recommend reading it. Surprisingly shortly after I read the book I saw a documentary on ITunes on the very same subject and it also mentioned the twin sisters which the book was about.
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Sophie Corbiere
4.0 out of 5 stars Quick shipping, okay condition
Reviewed in Canada on May 8, 2013
Verified Purchase
This book was shipped very quickly however it was not in the greatest condition. No markings ont he page however it was dirty and it could have been avoided with a simple wiping off before shipping. I am however satisfied with my order.
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