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If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path Paperback – February 1, 1999
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The Amazon Book Review
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
Praise for If the Buddha Dated
“[Charlotte Kasl] adds an entirely new level of understanding to our lives through love and not fear.” —Geneen Roth, author of When Food is Love
“[This book] focuses not on a lot of basic how-to's or manipulations but on creating spiritual bonds. Kasl does a beautiful job weaving Eastern philosophy into modern day relationships.” —Janet Luhrs, author of Simple Loving and The Simple Living Guide
Praise for If the Buddha Married
“[Kasl] brings the Buddha's wisdom to the complex world of relationships. We've all heard that marriage can be a spiritual experience; reading this book, you actually believe it.” —Marianne Williamson, New York Times bestselling author of A Return to Love and A Year of Miracles
“Filled with succinct and practical advice that is immersed in spiritual wisdom.” —Brenda M. Schaeffer, author of Is It Love or Is It Addiction? and Love's Way
Praise for If the Buddha Had Kids
“Dr. Kasl provides a wonderful blend of Buddhist wisdom, practical suggestions, psychological research, and her own rich perspective of being a mother. Parents will find this book very helpful in their efforts in promoting healthy brain development.” —Daniel Ladinsky, author of Love Poems from God, A Year with Hafiz, and The Purity of Desire
“This book brings the wisdom of the ages to bear to help parents inways that are extraordinarily inspiring and remarkably practical.You discover compassion for your child and compassion for yourself.” —Marti Erikson, PhD, coauthor of Last Child in the Woods
Praise for If the Buddha Got Stuck
“If the Buddha Got Stuck provides a roadmap to freedom and greater possibilities. Regardless of your starting place, Kasl will help you achieve greater joy, authenticity, and peace of mind. . . . Encouraging, practical, beautifully written.” —Laura Davis, author of I Thought We'd Never Speak Again and coauthor of The Courage to Heal
“Charlotte Kasl's new book overflows with insight, humor and eminently practical suggestions.” —Anita Doyle, former Director of the Jeannette Rankin Peace Center, Missoula, MT
“If previous attempts to work with your life from a Western philosophical or psychological perspective encountered gaps . . . [consider this] your bridge.” —Rowan Conrad, PhD, Director, Open Way Mindfulness Center
“If The Buddha Got Stuck brings perspective, inspiring stories, and useful exercises to feel less overwhelmed by life's difficulties.” —Lisa M. Najavits, Ph.D., Associate Professor in Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School and author of Seeking Safety: A Treatment Manual for PTSD and Substance Abuse
About the Author
Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D., a practicing therapist and nationally recognized workshop leader for more than 20 years, has had lifelong connections to feminism, Buddhism, Quaker practice, and Reiki healing. The author of several books including Finding Joy, she lives in Lolo, Montana.
Top customer reviews
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One disclaimer, I never buy books on dating, this is the first one, so I can't compare it with any other dating books. I got it for two reasons: 1. Although I've practiced Buddhism for many years, I have recently devoted myself more than ever and want to make a conscious effort to keep my spiritual path in mind when meeting my future partner. 2. The other reason I got this book is because I have another book by the same author that I like a lot (If The Buddha Got Stuck) and so I knew exactly what style of book this would be - casual, down to earth advice from a generally but not exclusively Buddhist perspective. It's the type of book you can open to any chapter that sounds good in the Contents and read out of order; each short chapter is an individual little gem.
The advice is sincere, touches on serious matters and yet remains lighthearted. It is definitely NOT a 'how-to' or instructional in any way. There's no advice in how to meet someone. It's more of a "where are you coming from?" theme, suggestions of things to reflect on before entering into a partnership with someone else. It helps you examine relationship mistakes from past relationships and offers simple checklists of traits you might look for in a new partner, commonalities, etc. It's exactly what I was looking for; helpful advice to contemplate now while I'm still happily single. I want to be in a healthier mindset so my future relationship will be complimentary to my spiritual path, and that's just what this book is about.
There was one review I read that says this book isn't very Buddhist oriented, that there aren't many canonical references to Buddhist scripture, and complains that a bunch of other spiritual traditions are referenced. To me, this reviewer is "missing the forest through the trees" in a huge way! The book *completely* embodies Buddhism in my opinion, every single piece of advice is consistent with Buddhist teachings, I haven't found a single thing in the book that is "un-Buddhist" in any way! No, it is not full of a bunch of scripture references from Buddhist sutras, but that wouldn't fit with the casual lighthearted style of this book and I personally wouldn't want all those references in this particular type of book. Yes, there are references and tidbits from various other spiritual traditions, Sufism, etc., but when you spend time in Buddhist Sanghas or study groups, that's common practice; Buddhism welcomes and often references any other spiritual advice that's in alignment with Buddhist ethics. In any case, that reviewer is of course entitled to their opinion, but I hate to see people get the idea that this is not Buddhist oriented because it absolutely is. It's just not done in a very blatant, overly obvious manner. I think this is a good thing, so others who may be "spiritually-minded" but not specifically Buddhist can still fully enjoy this book. So keep in mind, it's not a book about Buddhism, no. But it's a book about dating from a Buddhist perspective.
I really enjoyed this book and found the advice to be sound and smart. Like a good friend, or a counselor, offering excellent suggestions. I will return to this book again and again.
Oh! But it is slightly outdated and talks about placing ads in newspapers and doesn't really mention online dating, but the info and everything still applies.
Not long after reading this book and distributing it to my friends I ended up meeting my husband (and we are now expecting our first child). Allowing myself to open up to honest dating helped me to see the possibilities in not only my husband but myself. I highly recommend this book to anyone out there who is looking to explore a better way of being single and dating.