"I matter. I matter equally. Not ‘if only’. Not ‘as long as’. I matter equally. Full stop."
This book is a very small book (65 pages) with very important messages. I wanted to highligh everything.
Please read it!
The text that follows is a personal sharing and not a comment on the book. Is is about my journey and why I am commited to educating myself about privile and feminism. Consider yourself warned, be gentle and proceed with caution.
I grew up with 5 brothers and all my life I did the same things they did: I loved stories, I played with legos, I had dolls but also cars and Dinosaurs (barbies use to ride a T-Rex), I had a bike and rollerblades and loved them. I did not like football, but not all of them did anyway, and it was mostly because of my clumsiness. I run in parks, climbed trees and got dirty. I did this almost always wearing a dress or leggins because of the freedom of movement. I was always able to choose my own clothes, except when we had lunch with my grandparents.
I grew loving books, music and board games. I love Star Wars and Lord of the Rings as well as Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid and Alladin (We all still know these movies by heart).
I was always absolutely convinced I would study STEM subjects. My father advised me to choose any engineering course (because I loved math and physics) but I chose biochemistry. I hated it so much that I wanted to get as far away from the subject as possible and went on to study management, specializing in finance.
I did not know how privileged I was when I was growing up. In fact, I am still learning about privilege in general.
I knew I was privileged in many areas of my life: I grew up with a family, I was able to study and have nothing significant lacking in my life. I am aware that this is a huge amount of privilege obviously, what I didn’t understand was how lucky I was to grow in a family that teach me I could be whatever I wanted.
When I started going to interviews I was asked if I had a boyfriend, when was I planning to have kids and if I felt comfortable travelling since it would affect the family.
When I started working in corporate finance we were 8 women in approximately 40 employees and only one was a Director.
When I started going to client board meetings I was almost always the only woman in the room.
In 10 years of consultancy I only spoke with 3 women with decision making power and only one of them was CEO.
When we decided to have kids I really wanted a girl because of the extra challenge of preparing her for a world that it is still not equal for women. I wanted to raise a girl to be whatever she wants but aware of her privilege, as well as the dificulties she might face.
Little did I know about the immensity of a challenge it is.
I know what I want to teach her and is absolutely in line with everything written in this book. The problem is educating society.
Society begins to invent gender roles even before they are born! I keep explaining to my husband’s family the kind of toys and clothes I want and go on receiving kitchen appliances and pink babies.
At this point, I am not even sure if she really likes pink and purple or if it was manipulated by the tons of pink objects available in the world (I try to choose everything in happy colours to counterbalance but it is a challenge).
I keep seeing friends and family raising their kids with gender biases and its tricky to interfere as nobody likes to be told what to do.
Gender injustice is real, but I always have to prove its existence and its exhausting. Even the friends that acknowledge gender injustice have difficulty in understanding that a lot of their actions and language are gender biased.
I feel very lucky with my life and what I have accomplished. I want to see more females in positions of power. I want it not to feel like luck and to be available to all women.
I will keep educating myself and force my friends do the same and eventually we will #BreakTheBias.
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How to Raise a Feminist - The Definitive Guide
If you've been following my reviews, you've seen how head-over-heels I was (still am) for We Should All Be Feminists by this author. And my feelings for that book haven't changed. I still maintain that it's the most articulate primer on Feminism that I have come across. But this book is something else. On a rating scale, yes both these books are 5/5 stars. But what does that even mean? Not much. Not when I feel the way I feel about these books. Though admittedly, one of the reasons why I feel strongly about these books is because I feel strongly about the causes that they represent. And this is not to undermine the sheer brilliance of the manner through which Adichie communicates her message. Because she excels in packing a very effective, very hard-hitting punch in very few, super articulate words, all the while keeping the tone light and conversational. And this book is especially more conversational (though no less thought-provoking) because it was inspired by a letter the author wrote to her friend, who at that time, was a new mother to a baby girl, who sought Adichie's advice on 'How to raise her girl as a Feminist'. This book is essentially Adichie's response to her friend, sharing her 15 suggestions on how to raise a feminist. But let me tell you, it's no ordinary letter. It's a letter that should be laminated/framed, and passed on to the future generations. In-fact it's a letter that should be made mandatory reading for everyone (yes, for everyone - girls and boys), right along with We Should All Be Feminists. Because if We Should All Be Feminists was the best, most concise and articulate primer on Feminism, this is one on Parenting with respect to Gender Equality. Which is why it's a MUST READ for EVERYONE. And I keep emphasizing everyone, because I read somewhere that this is a 'Must Read Book for Girl Moms', and I was like no, no, NO!! This book, feminism, gender equality is not just for girl moms, it's for boy moms, it's for parents of all humans, which includes dads too, btw. However, that being said, I personally feel like you don't need to be a parent to read this book. We, as a society have had centuries of terrible conditioning that needs to be challenged/reversed/set right. Which is why I highly recommend both these books to every one. Start with We Should All be Feminists, but then pick this one up right away. But if you could read only one, make it this one. - Shantala at Shanaya Tales
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2022
Top reviews from other countries
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- NataliaReviewed in the Netherlands on May 27, 2025
Perfect book for everyone, adults and kids
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Nina RosalesReviewed in Mexico on November 23, 2019
Un libro que todos deberíamos leer
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase - marina del kwiReviewed in Japan on September 1, 2023
Liberate your spirit.
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
