- Paperback: 280 pages
- Publisher: Animal Media Group LLC (October 9, 2018)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 9781947895041
- ISBN-13: 978-1947895041
- ASIN: 1947895044
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 5 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #178,711 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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I'll Be OK, It's Just a Hole In My Head: A Memoir on Heartbreak and Head Trauma Paperback – October 9, 2018
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About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Friday September 5, 2014, 11:20 p.m.
INT. ST. JOSEPH HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM
MIMI lies down on the examination table. She emerged from the “metal donut” several minutes ago and now lies back in the room with MOM. She is tired and trying to sleep. MOM is sitting close to her and stroking her hair. The lights are dimmed. The NURSE comes back into the room with her tiny, brown clipboard and turns to MOM.
We found something.
MOM sits up, alarmed. The plastic curtains seem to sway backwards as if taking impact from the information. MIMI remains lying down. She is motionless. NURSE continues to address MOM.
A part of your daughter’s brain is bleeding-
MOM looks horrified. Her mouth hangs ajar. MIMI does not move or blink. NURSE moves to door quickly.
I’m going to make a phone call. Please wait here.
NURSE leaves the room for an undisclosed location. MOM looks to MIMI. MIMI’S eyes are wide open and focused on the ceiling tiles. Her mouth is moving slightly as if she is counting them. MIMI begins to shiver, her body convulsing trying to find warmth. MOM grabs a blanket from behind her and covers MIMI with it. MIMI’S skin has turned translucent.
Shhhh. You’re okay. You’re okay.
MIMI continues to shiver. MOM grabs another blanket and puts it atop MIMI. MOM strokes MIMI’S hair.
“–CUT,” Steven Spielberg screams. He throws his weathered director’s hat on the ground and calls for the makeup people to come retouch my face because beads of sweat are running into my eyes. As they dab orange goo onto my forehead Spielberg approaches me.
“What are you, cold or something?” He says propping his hand on his hip in agitation.
“W-what?” I say.
“The shivering. It looks weird on camera. I need to see the pain in your eyes. Candace, can we get her a blanket or something, this is ridiculous –
“Mom, you’re doing great. I like the ‘you’re okay’ line. Very inventive. Nurse, nice exit. Get out of there as soon as you can, almost with zero explanation at all– in fact; yes, let’s try that this time. Just come in, say the brain is bleeding, then run out the door. Skip that whole taking a phone call line,”
Spielberg walks back to his director’s chair, picking up his hat from the ground and placing it back upon his simmering head.
“RESET,” A swift set crew emerges from the curtains to move me slightly back on the examination table. They tuck blankets around me quickly, jabbing me in the side as they haphazardly try to cure me of my shivers. The Nurse takes two steps back out of frame.
–There I go again. Trying to turn my life into a Hollywood blockbuster. This is a very bad habit I’ve developed, you guys.
This didn’t happen. Not even a little bit. There would be no cutting or resetting. Spielberg wasn’t in that Emergency Room to give actor’s notes or to yell at me for shivering in a 95-degree room. I didn’t have unlimited access to blankets or stage makeup. This wasn’t a movie scene. This was my life. And try as I might to fantasize my way out of it, the reality was: I was not okay.
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Pub Date 28 Sep 2018
Thanks to Animal Media Group and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.