Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $3.99 shipping
+ Free Shipping
+ $3.99 shipping
I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas Hardcover – November 2, 2010
|New from||Used from|
See the Best Books of 2018 So Far
Looking for something great to read? Browse our editors' picks for the best books of the year so far in fiction, nonfiction, mysteries, children's books, and much more.
From Publishers Weekly
Vituperative standup comedian Black (Me of Little Faith) delivers a caustic Christmas diatribe. Warning readers to ignore the book if they have a deep attachment to Christmastime, he notes, "This book contains, like the celebration of Christmas, only 2 percent religion. Think of it as the yuletide equivalent of low-fat milk." After recalling how he argued with the editor who urged him to write a Christmas book, Black delivers a full-scale Scrooge-styled screed. With chapters such as "Meditations of a Jewish Santa," "The Hooker at Rockefeller Center," and "The Carol from Hell," he rips into such seasonal traditions as Christmas cards, dinners, toys, advertising ("a primal scream of sales"), shopping ("Why don't you folks wait until the 26th of December when things are the cheapest?"), trees ("something magical about a Christmas tree all dazzled up in lights... almost as breathtaking as a hooker gone wild in spangles"), carols ("A shower is a place for singing, and on Christmas, it's where you should be caroling"), and gifts: "At Chanukah we get nothing. We don't even get stockings." With digressions on the human comedy and his personal life, Black spews forth much invective, but successfully exposes societal truths with riotous ripostes. (Nov.) (c)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lewis Black is the hugely popular and New York Times bestselling author, stand-up comedian, actor, and playwright. Besides appearing regularly on The Daily Show (in his own segment, "Back in Black"), he has written and starred in a string of successful HBO and Comedy Central specials and one-man Broadway shows. He's won a Grammy, an Emmy, and an American Comedy Award. Born near Washington, D.C., Black graduated from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and has a master's degree from the Yale School of Drama.
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
But Christmas, whether we like it or not, "has become a beast that cannot be fed." And I join his grumblings about how much of the calendar it's eaten up (hear it on "Anticipation"), and how people go insane on Black Friday. I could go on, but if you read the book, you might convert too ;-)
Regarding his USO tour with Lance Armstrong, he had this to say when he stopped in DeKalb IL a short while ago: Lance is a pr*ck, end of story. I'm summarising, of course, but you get the gist of it.
As Christmas Day itself is rapidly approaching, Lewis in anticipation of attending two different close friends' lavish Christmas Day meals, he once again faces (and shares with the reader) his personal dichotomy. These couples are so happy and have great families... I can't wait to go... yet I'll stand out as being single... etc. Then the reader is dragged through other disconcerting minutia that weighs down poor, single, Fatherless, Jewish, Lewis, on this wonderful gentile holiday. What should I wear? Where do I buy my clothes? Where did I used to buy my clothes? I'm fat and look pregnant. In a flashback... perhaps the saddest "actual" fact in Black's life... especially with the overall internal battle he's waging between family and no family for all eternity... is the fact that years ago he had been married to a woman who told him she was pregnant with his child. It turns out the child wasn't his and he got divorced.
In a great parenthetical summary to himself... with a jab to his own ribs... he explains how he could still fill his largest void... even though he is now sixty-one-years-old... but there would be a price to pay. "YOU CAN DO IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE. ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO, LEWIS, IS FALL IN LOVE, GET MARRIED, AND HAVE A CHILD, SO BY THE TIME YOU'RE SEVENTY-FIVE YOU CAN PLAY CATCH WITH HIM. SO THAT WHEN YOU MISS THE KID'S FASTBALL AND IT DRILLS INTO YOUR CHEST, CRUSHING YOUR STERNUM AND THROWING YOU AGAINST THE METAL PATIO FURNITURE, SHATTERING YOUR PELVIS, YOU CAN DIE HAPPILY, CONTENT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU WERE A FAMILY MAN. NO THANKS."
The contradictions that haunt Black's lifelong dreams and desires are crystallized in many ways... such as looking forward to attend his two friend's Christmas parties and over indulging in fantastic food and drink... and without blinking an eye... stating emphatically that he won't bring their kids any gifts no matter how much hatred will be in their little faces and comments. And then right from those comments he waxes poetically about the checks he makes out to numerous charities. These inconsistencies are what the whole book is about... other than the last approximately twenty pages where he describes his being involved in the USO's holiday tours to entertain our troops.
Perhaps his most unflinching statement in the entire books is: "PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, UNTIL THEY DISAGREE WITH THE REASON IT HAPPENED."
At several points, he attempts to relax, only to thwarted by the screams of children, who themselves want to relax, but who are dragged from uncomfortable place to uncomfortable place by their parents, who themselves want to relax; everyone loses in this scenario. He has sympathy for most people involved, but they nonetheless make him miserable.
If you have ever been infuriated by schmaltz and if you don't much like parades, but you can nonetheless enjoy the sensuous delights life has to offer you, and if you can handle a lot of foul language, this book may be for you.
If you're looking for something cutesy and "heartwarming", perhaps as a gift for a delicate relative, this book isn't for you.
If you're not exactly thrilled with the commercialization of the holiday season and our tendencies toward excess, this is a must read. But Black also touches on the theme of belonging, and does so in a very personal way. It's a reminder about one of the important reasons for the season that drives us crazy.
I especially appreciated Black sharing his experience of entertaining our troops overseas with fellow entertainers Robin Williams and Chris Rock. Just picture it: Black, Williams, and Rock ... bunking together. A deep bow of gratitude to all three.
If it's been a while since you've chuckled out loud while reading....buy this book.