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I'm Grieving as Fast as I Can: How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal Paperback – June 1, 1994
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"Rebound" by Kwame Alexander
Don't miss best-selling author Kwame Alexander's "Rebound," a new companion novel to his Newbery Award-winner, "The Crossover,"" illustrated with striking graphic novel panels. Pre-order today
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Devastation, doesn't even begin to relate the emotions I felt. To make matters worse, we were preparing for his father's impending death (3 weeks later), and the closest family member to me was 4 hours away. Talk about feeling isolated in loss! All I knew was that I had to be strong for my daughters, and not let anyone see me fall apart. I was one of those proud, strong widows.
My mother, a social worker, gave me this book a month or so after the funerals. It was the first thing that actually related more to me than anything else I had read (usually books like this are directed at women over 65). Although the topics covered are fairly brief, I couldn't process much more information than provided at the time. I read what was pertinent to my situation, and skipped the parts (widows with young children, or no kids) that didn't apply.
I came to think of this book as my bible. So much so, that I gave my copy (along with a basket of pampering goodies) to another young, new, widow I met at Christmastime in a check out line. I promptly bought another copy, and in a couple of months, gave it to another grieving woman. I have turned to this book again and again, and probably have given it away at least 5 times with words of condolence and encouragement, as well as the instructions to "pay it forward".
7 years later, and in a new marriage, I still find that I turn to this book when my grief knocks at my door. This book has had a lasting impression on me, and nothing I have read since has offered me more validation and solace. I am still grieving as fast as I can, and I've learned that it is a process that will continue until the day I die (although the pain does lessen).
This book was the only book in which I found several sentences that exactly matched what I felt and experienced as a widower in his late 40s. This book does not offer any ultimate solution for a widow or a widower. After all, books cannot do that.
The book at least made feel that I am not the only person who feels this or that way and my feelings were natural. In short, it is the cheapest alternative to a support group and it is worth the money.