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I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual Paperback – September 13, 2016

4.4 out of 5 stars 3,329

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"A truth-riot of a book!"Shonda Rhimes

New York Times Bestseller
#1 Washington Post Bestseller
Redbook “20 Books By Women You Must Read this Fall”
GoodHousekeeping.com “17 New Best New Books to Read This Fall”
BookRiot “100 Must-Read Hilarious Books”
Goodreads Choice Awards Finalist

Comedian, activist, and hugely popular culture blogger at AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi, serves up necessary advice for the masses in this hilarious book of essays

With over 500,000 readers a month at her enormously popular blog, AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi is a go-to source for smart takes on pop culture.
I'm Judging You is her debut book of humorous essays that dissects our cultural obsessions and calls out bad behavior in our increasingly digital, connected lives. It passes on lessons and side-eyes on life, social media, culture, and fame, from addressing those terrible friends we all have to serious discussions of race and media representation to what to do about your fool cousin sharing casket pictures from Grandma's wake on Facebook.

With a lighthearted, razor sharp wit and a unique perspective,
I'm Judging You is the handbook the world needs, doling out the hard truths and a road map for bringing some "act right" into our lives, social media, and popular culture. It is the Do-Better Manual.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

"The Internet’s newest comic phenom . . . . She has been hailed by Bono and Shonda Rhimes for her singular voice and stinging political commentary...You may not have heard her name yet. But you probably will, because Luvvie Ajayi, a Nigerian-born "professional shade thrower," as she calls herself, is offering incisive, hilarious commentary on polarizing issues (race and gender in particular), and she has found her audience."
Judith Newman, The New York Times

"This truth-riot of a book gives us everything from hilarious lectures on the bad behavior all around us to razor sharp essays on media and culture. With I’m Judging You, Luvvie brilliantly puts the world on notice that she is not here for your foolishness ― or mine."
―Shonda Rhimes, New York Times bestselling author of Year of Yes and executive producer of Scandal and Grey's Anatomy

"I don't know how Luvvie Ajayi got so smart so young about so many things, from feminism to social media, from the pervasiveness of rape culture to the excellence of Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits. I'm just grateful she has chosen to share her wisdom with the rest of us in this warm and witty book. The world is going to love it!"
Jennifer Weiner, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Best Friends Forever

"You will love Luvvie Ajayi's
I'm Judging You, and you will argue with it, laugh hysterically at it, shout "AW HELL YES" at it, and carry parts of it in your heart to dissect or inspire...Perfect for starting important and meaty discussions about all of the topics your mama told you never to bring up at polite dinner parties...religion, race, relationships, reality tv. Read the book. Have the discussions. You'll be better for it."
Jenny Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy

I’m Judging You is whip-smart, take-no-prisoners hilarious.”
ChicagoTribune

“Humor writing at its best. . . . A truth serum tempered with the bite of laugh.”
NBCBLK(NBC News)

“Luvvie Ajayi calls out everybody on their bad behavior . . . but she does it with such a light and funny touch that you can’t help but laugh even as you learn.”
Goodhousekeeping.com

“Hilarious and perceptive.”
PopSugar

“The ultimate handbook on the dos and don’ts of socially navigating the digital era. Brilliantly witty and heartful.”
Redbook Magazine

“Reflects Ajayi’s spunky personality and hilarious commentary.”
The Huffington Post

"A smart, vividly humorous handbook...Overall, [Ajayi's] “do-better” calls for us to reclaim common sense, compassion, and critical thinking, in both personal and online interactions. Astute and timely advice, wittily presented."
―Booklist, starred review

"By exposing the uncool, unwashed underbelly of American society, Ajayi's essays force readers to reconsider their stances on a variety of issues, including social media and the public airing of everything, celebrities, sex tapes, the various types of friendships one might have, feminism, religion. Be prepared for some laughs, but also be prepared to think and confront tougher issues."
Kirkus

"Ajayi writes with humor and intelligence about a range of topics . . . . Her honesty makes the book worth reading."
Publishers Weekly

"I could NOT stop laughing. Luvvie has a way of tapping into the universal things that make us all suck at being people. EVERY person needs to keep
I'm Judging You on them at all times just to avoid being terrible. I know I will."
―Issa Rae, author of The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

"When I heard Luvvie was writing a book, I knew the following things would happen as surely as day follows night: I would read it, and I would love it...Luvvie is correct about more things more often than any single human woman has the right to be, and has the most stylish and deft command of language this side of P.G. Wodehouse. I like her immensely for it, and I wish I could read
I'm Judging You for the first time again. I have been chided by the best, and I love it.
Mallory Ortberg, bestselling author of Texts from Jane Eyre

"
I'm Judging You is a brilliant, laugh-out-loud manual for the generation that can configure a wireless router but still hasn't realized social media is not the place for child support issues. It's the tough and tender love letter everyone should be forced to read before they take their first selfie."
Angela Nissel, author of The Broke Diaries and Mixed

About the Author

Luvvie Ajayi is an award-winning writer, pop-culture critic, and professional troublemaker who thrives at the intersection of comedy, technology, and activism. She is the person who often says what you're thinking but dared not say because you have a filter and a job to protect. She is also a digital strategist, noted speaker, core team member on Glennon Doyle’s “Together” tour, and executive director of The Red Pump Project, a national HIV/AIDS organization.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Holt Paperbacks (September 13, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1627796061
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1627796064
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.4 x 1 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 out of 5 stars 3,329

About the author

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Luvvie Ajayi Jones
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Luvvie Ajayi Jones is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, speaker and entrepreneur, who thrives at the intersection of culture, media, and business.

Her critically acclaimed books Little Troublemaker Makes a Mess (2023), Rising Troublemaker: A Fear-Fighter Manual for Teens (2022), Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual (2021) and I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual (2016) were instant New York Times bestsellers, establishing her as a literary force with a powerful pen.

Luvvie is an internationally recognized speaker whose thought leadership on culture, authenticity, and disruption enables transformative action. Her renowned TED talk "Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable" has over 8 million views, has been transcribed into 23 languages, and has placed her in the Top 1% of TED Talks of all time. Luvvie is the host of a podcast of the same name as her banner book, Professional Troublemaker.

An 20-year blogging veteran, Luvvie writes on AwesomelyLuvvie.com, covering all things culture with a critical yet humorous lens.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
3,329 global ratings
I'm Judging You (if you don't read this book...;) )
5 Stars
I'm Judging You (if you don't read this book...;) )
I received a free copy of I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.This book was absolutely hilarious and gave me a whole new perspective on so many social issues. Luvvie writes in an honest, thought provoking and funny tone. I read part of it while I was on an airplane and I couldn't help but laugh out loud at certain sections which certainly made the people around me interested. She also tackles serious problems such as rape & racism in a way that changed a lot of my perspectives. I highly recommend reading this!
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2016
I'M JUDGING YOU is now a New York Times best seller for a reason. It is laugh out loud fun. It is entertaining. It is educational. It is CRAZY and will not disappoint the LuvvNation members who frequent the Awesomely Luvvie website for their fix of pop culture, technology, life and work shenanigans. I'm Judging You is a fairly quick read and it is so focused, hilarious and perfectly written that even your "I don't like to read" friends will love this one. My book arrived on a Friday and I was unable to work, cook or parent the entire weekend. This book grabbed me and wouldn't let go until I finished it. Yes, it is That Good!

However, while I fully expected I'm Judging You to be fun and make me laugh hard, I was pleasantly surprised at how deep it is, too! There are moments where Luvvie is "judging" us in areas of privilege, homophobia, policing, religion and size discrimination that brought tears to my eyes. Seriously! Tears!! But don't fear, for while you will learn and be a better person after reading this Do-Better Manual, she never gets "preachy." And even while I was crying tears of joy, relief, sadness and gratitude that Luvvie took the silent screams of my very soul and put them in print, she did it in such a hilarious manner that I still laughed my tushy off. :o)

There is a fine line an author can walk where they seriously open their heart and soul to educate others while also making them laugh so hard that they almost need an inhaler. Luvvie Ajayi perfectly walked that line. And I am so much the better for it! Buy This Book for yourself, for a friend, and for every person who has ever breathed. Trust me, they need this!

Ps: Shout out to "Carlos" (LOL! Read the book and that name will make you pass out laughing! #HashtagForNoReason.)
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Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2017
I really appreciate how she tackles tough subjects thoroughly, with humor, but without avoiding the uncomfortable truth of each matter. As a white person who's been trying to educate myself on these issues so I can be more inclusive, respectful and considerate of the experiences people of color have that I have been ignorant about, this book was pivotal. It helped me to connect some dots and finally understand perspectives that were unclear to me before. She also provided some history I straight up didn't even know about! I've recommended it to my friends and community in hopes that we can all do better. I also really appreciation how Luvvie communicated what's not been done well in our culture for centuries in a way that did not leave me feeling ashamed, but rather encouraged that I not only can, but have a responsibility to use my privilege and a better idea of HOW to actually do that.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2016
This book was recommended to me by a good friend who had thoroughly enjoyed it. She and many of the reviewers had said it was hilarious, and I agree that, especially in the early chapters it definitely is. Honestly, being a confirmed Luddite beyond a certain age, the social media chapters #were#lost#on#me. I presume to anyone under the age of, say, 50, would think those and chapters of similar content riotous. She writes very conversationally and colourfully, so the book is an easy read--although I had to look up a lot of words in an American Slag dictionary, which I didn't even know existed before a week ago.

The chapters I want to highlight, though, are those about the ugly -isms of our (and previous) times. If you are white, as I am, and male (even worse), this book should be required reading. If you are white and female, don't worry, there's a required chapter for you, too. She develops the concept of privilege between races and genders in a sobering, no-wonder-they-hate-us, exposition. It's fair to speculate that most white people have never heard the crux of racism described so eloquently. I know I hadn't. She leaves us no rocks to scuttle under, no elite liberal mantle in which to wrap ourselves. We're ants to her solar focusing glass. She's giving all of us an opportunity to understand so many things from the headlines. Take the opportunity and grow into person you can/should be.

She spears brutish, loutish men and then makes those of us who feel ourselves "evolved" as not being much better under most circumstances. Before I read the chapter about rape culture, I thought I was one of the evolved. Well, I don't any longer. But like T. S. Eliot said, "For us there is only the trying; the rest is not our business." But you really must try, and try again. Really. Try again. Really try.

She makes scathing criticisms of feminists, who she suggests are prone to acting out their privileged positions. She notes that while women make 72 cents for each dollar a man makes, the fact that a woman of colour only makes 64 cents doesn't make them automatic members of the Movement, which is almost exclusively white (her words, not mine).

The one thing that makes me craziest is right wing religious zealots who think that a god has called them to correct the errors everyone else makes. Where I may differ somewhat is in my belief that no single religion holds the trademark on hatred against other religions. There really is little difference between the extreme zealots of Islam that we in the US fear and the wingnuts of the right wing of Christianity that we should. There is little substantive difference between those trying to impose Christian Sharia on our culture and those trying to do the same thing in parts of the Middle East. Ironically, the responsible guys in both religions think it's the other ones trying to do the imposition on them. Ms Ajayi expounds at length at the evil religion has done in the name of [pick a name of] god. Those who read this review that think that they are recipients of the revealed words of any particular god would do well to read the appropriate chapter--with an open mind.

Read this book! Regardless of your background, you are almost certain to see yourself portrayed in a negative light and therefore be presented with an opportunity to grow, whether you be the guy who disappears when it's time to reconcile the restaurant bill, or the person who marginalizes people who embrace a different sexual preference than you do, or the guy who thinks any coed at a frat party is fair game. Read--and sin no more!
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Top reviews from other countries

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Ken
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!!
Reviewed in Canada on January 16, 2022
So much valuable life lessons to be learnt in this book. A 10/10
Antoinette of France
5.0 out of 5 stars Such a fun read!
Reviewed in France on October 23, 2021
I enjoyed every bit of this book and have told everyone and their mother to get this.

Luvvie was so tasteful in tackling difficulties and uncomfortable conversations and shedding light on issues and topics that are not commonly talked about.

As part of my work as a coach, this book has educated me so much about racism, common respect and etiquette and being a proper human being in general in a very entertaining and fun way! Highly recommend!
Donald Eatmon
5.0 out of 5 stars Super book
Reviewed in Germany on May 30, 2021
This book is the best thing that I have ever read. Down to the core and a must so if it coming
Lola A
5.0 out of 5 stars We all need to do better!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 26, 2020
Wisdom in a tidy package! A woman after my heart. She moved to the US around a similar age and time I moved to the UK. The same side-eyeing and moral high-ground. Life is not easy but we shouldn't make it harder for others by being shady!
I highly recommend this book. Everyone should read this. And watch her TED talk!
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Val
5.0 out of 5 stars 4 estrelas e meia!
Reviewed in Brazil on May 23, 2017
Não conhecia, mas teve um daily deal da amazon com este livro e eu tinha achado o nome e a capa do livro geniais, gostei da premissa (mesmo nem conhecendo a Luvvie) e a Shonda indicou. Então, né, autobuy.

Simplesmente AMEI a Luvvie e o livro dela!

Ela fala de tudo: como é ser uma nigeriana nos EUA, amizades, racismo, machismo, feminismo branco e como ele é uma bosta racista e viva o feminismo interseccional (!!!), homofobia, gordofobia, cultura de estupro... Sério, "I'm Judging You..." é ótimo e o humor da Luvvie é sensacional! <3

Li várias resenhas com um monte de gente branca reclamando que Luvvie está praticando "racismo inverso" e falando que um tanto de coisa que ela comenta aparece nas mídias o tempo todo. Este povo todo é simplesmente o CÚMULO DO UNIVERSO, porque:

1) Racismo inverso não existe;
2) Em todos os momentos, Luvvie prega o diálogo e ressalta várias vezes que qualquer pessoa que não seja branca não tem privilégio na sociedade e que gente branca deveria entender isto e fazer algo para mudar esta situação;
3) Se tudo continua horrível com esta quantidade de coisa sobre feminismo, racismo, cultura de estupro e percepção corporal aparecendo nas mídias, imagina como seria sem nem aparecesse nada? Colegas que falaram isto deveriam tomar chá de desconfiômetro e bom senso, porque, fala sério, viu? Tem que falar sim e a gente ainda está FALANDO POUCO! TINHA ERA QUE FALAR MAIS MESMO. BOCA NO TROMBONE.

Enfim...

LEIAM ESTE LIVRO.
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