Being an intense person can be so isolating. When people don't get your excitement or enthusiasm, they tend to shy away from interacting. That can be amplified when you're a solo-preneur and working from home.
A short while ago, I set a goal for myself. I gave it a name, and a due date, and then stood back and asked myself if it was possible. I questioned whether it could be done at all. When the answer was "yes, quite easily," I made it harder. I asked myself if it was scary. When the answer was "not particularly," I made it much bigger. Finally, I came to a point where my goal was big, hairy, and scary -- and yet somehow strangely attractive.
Now that I had my specific, realistic, time-sensitive, scary goal, it was time to get to work.
And work I did.
Along the way, I had three constant companions. They were with me always, never leaving my side. They were: Impostor Syndrome, Procrastination, and Perfectionism. If I were artistic in any way, I would draw their characters (but I'm not a Pixar studio, I'm just me). But I think you may already recognize them, because this is the Most Common Trifecta of Intensities that clients usually come to me with.
Let's unpack the Trifecta just a little bit. Impostor Syndrome tells you that you can't do this because you're not qualified, educated, experienced, or good enough. Procrastination says you don't really need to get it done right now because (as she leans on Impostor Syndrome), if you do, you'll soon realize that you're not qualified anyway. Perfection steps in and screams over the other two that you can't possibly produce anything good enough because it HAS to be perfect if you want anyone to look at it (or you).
As an aside, there is another player in the room, but it's like a fly on the wall. It's called Underachievement. He usually sits on the wall, but every once in a while he buzzes your ear and whispers that you don't need to do any more than what you've already done because you're fine with what you've got and there's no reason to go overboard.
These companions were with me for the trip of accomplishing my goal, but I kept them in their places. I wrestle them daily, and the struggle is just as real as the one I've got with those freaking Legos that are forever embedded in my carpet, waiting to emerge at just the right moment -- like jaguars from the rainforest.
In order to quiet my companions, I must recognize them. You know, like in the movie "Avatar" when they truly see each other. I look at them and tell them, "I see you." Ok, I might make it a little more like the kid in the movie The 6th Sense ("I see dead people").
But I digress.
I recognize them for what they are and the role they can potentially play in making my life more incredible instead of more miserable. And then I tell them they can BACK.OFF.
These intensities, these quirks, have SO much potential! They are superpowers that can go bad or come to the right side of the force. On their worst days, they keep me in bed watching Netflix and not eating anything except ice cream. On their best days, they push me to be a good person, provide great service to my clients and the world (as I know it), and make me a better parent.
My intensities have to be kept in check. By recognizing them, I bring awareness to them, and that makes all the difference. When I bring my intensities to the front of my mind and the tip of my awareness, I show them that I am in control -- not them. I make it plain, in no uncertain terms, that I will be the driver of my life; I will be the one running this show.
This book was written with intensities in mind, as a guide to helping you overcome your own intensities so that you can be the driver of your own destiny.