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The Interracial Dating Book for Black Women Who Want to Date White Men Paperback – October 1, 1999
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From the Publisher
Black women can bypass the shortage of Black men by dating White men. This book shows how to clear out your old social conditioning and inhibitions about interracial relationships, tune out expectations that you date only Blacks and clarify your reasons for romantic and sexual attraction to White men. It shows you where and how to meet White men, how to make yourself more interracially approachable and gives guidelines for screening emotionally available White males into your social life. Women often see men as foreign psychological territory, and racial differences accentuate this misperception. This book clears away the misconceptions all too many Black women have about White men and explains what goes on in the minds of White men who seek out and date Black women.
A broad spectrum of taboos and social pressures block Black women from getting into interracial relationships. This book explains the psychosexual origins of the various forms of social opposition to those wearing "the scarlet letter of interracial dating," from the stares interracial couples encounter almost everywhere they go, to why parents work so hard at breaking up the interracial relationships of their offspring to why certain types of disturbed individuals become enraged at the sight of total strangers who happen to be in interracial relationships. This book shows how to better understand, cope with, and tune out the various social pressures and initiate unembarrassed interracial relationships.
Top customer reviews
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I wonder if this book was written by a white guy at all. The comments about black men had some merit, but one didn't need to be beaten about the head and shoulders about it. Black Love is wonderful, but in the late eighties, I saw the writing on the wall with the shortage of good black men and decided to expand my options. But I will say there is a double standard with interracial dating when it comes to sistahs.
There really isn't a model of dating someone of any ethnicity. The book had potential, but that was lost within the context of stereotypes and assumptions. There are other really good books on this subject that are really wonderful and written by women of color that are involved with non black men; I'll stick with those.
The first warning bells sounded when I realized that there was no information about the person behind the "Adam White" pseudonym. Who is he, and what makes him qualified to write about this subject? When an author goes beyond using a pseudonym to shield his complete identity from the reader, I can't help but wonder what's wrong.
As soon as I began reading the text I was bothered by the author's failure to follow even elementary rules of good writing. Almost every point he made was repeated, nearly verbatim, in several places. He also used such a limited vocabulary that I felt I was reading a young adult novel on par with R.L. Stine's "Goosebumps" books. Plus, he never provided any real bases for his conclusions. The entire book reads like a poorly written high school term paper.
My third major complaint was the seemingly racist and patronizing attitude the author displayed toward blacks. One bit of advice was for black women to ignore other blacks in public and focus exclusively on white males to make themselves more cross-culturally appealing. Why would any self-respecting black woman want a man who only found her desirable when she distanced herself from those who shared her racial background?
Additionally, the behaviors that Smith advocates appear self-destructive and self-hating--I thought the goal was to date whites, not to become white. Yet the author's suggestions include not wearing ethnic attire so as not to appear hostile, not wearing a great deal of jewelry because that's associated with "blackness," and not discussing issues with racial overtones so as not to make white men uncomfortable. Smith also contributes such "gems of wisdom" as: read books about interracial romances in public so whites will know that you are receptive, work to overcome the discomfort you will surely feel at the unaccustomed situation of meeting blue or green eyes, and dress like the white women you know.
The only people who will derive any benefit from the information in this book are those who know zero about white men. And if you know nothing about them, what makes you want to date them anyway? Surely it's not because you buy into the author's contentions that most black males are either inmates or emotionally immature "players" taking advantage of the "surplus" numbers of black women?
As a minority woman who has always socialized with and dated whites, I feel this book is neither relevant nor helpful for anyone who truly wishes to expand her cultural dating horizons. Rather than living up to its name, it never rises above being a money making gimmick designed to take advantage of the gullible.
If you really want to date interracially, the cost of this book is better spent on an evening out someplace where single white men socialize.
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