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Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters Paperback – June 29, 2021
| Abigail Shrier (Author) Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author |
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Until just a few years ago, gender dysphoria—severe discomfort in one’s biological sex—was vanishingly rare. It was typically found in less than .01 percent of the population, emerged in early childhood, and afflicted males almost exclusively.
But today whole groups of female friends in colleges, high schools, and even middle schools across the country are coming out as “transgender.” These are girls who had never experienced any discomfort in their biological sex until they heard a coming-out story from a speaker at a school assembly or discovered the internet community of trans “influencers.”
Unsuspecting parents are awakening to find their daughters in thrall to hip trans YouTube stars and “gender-affirming” educators and therapists who push life-changing interventions on young girls—including medically unnecessary double mastectomies and puberty blockers that can cause permanent infertility.
Abigail Shrier, a writer for the Wall Street Journal, has dug deep into the trans epidemic, talking to the girls, their agonized parents, and the counselors and doctors who enable gender transitions, as well as to “detransitioners”—young women who bitterly regret what they have done to themselves.
Coming out as transgender immediately boosts these girls’ social status, Shrier finds, but once they take the first steps of transition, it is not easy to walk back. She offers urgently needed advice about how parents can protect their daughters.
A generation of girls is at risk. Abigail Shrier’s essential book will help you understand what the trans craze is and how you can inoculate your child against it—or how to retrieve her from this dangerous path.
- Print length276 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherRegnery Publishing
- Publication dateJune 29, 2021
- Reading age18 years and up
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-10168451228X
- ISBN-13978-1684512287
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- Publisher : Regnery Publishing (June 29, 2021)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 276 pages
- ISBN-10 : 168451228X
- ISBN-13 : 978-1684512287
- Reading age : 18 years and up
- Item Weight : 11.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #5,559 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1 in LGBTQ+ Demographic Studies
- #16 in Political Conservatism & Liberalism
- #19 in Censorship & Politics
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In this paragraph Shrier not only belittles the expert opinion of gender-affirming therapists, she also invalidates the reality of the transgender person, and makes inappropriate use of a sacred Jewish expression.
As a parent I can tell you that it is actually NOT a mental feat to believe your child is not their gender assigned at birth. Part of having an open mind, and indeed part of innate intelligence is being able to change your beliefs and adapt in response to new information. I like to think that is part of the reason why there are more transgender youth coming out in today’s world, because they are growing up in a time that has allowed their brains to use information to grow, adapt and move beyond the constructs of previous ages that were so efficient at offering limiting beliefs about gender roles, societal expectations and more. I can understand that Shrier being a product of her generation may not be as inclined to these shifts in thinking, but to state that others will not be able to adapt is just not rational.
Other problems I have with this book (and there are many more than the ones I include in this list) are:
Shrier provides stories and accounts of transgender youth apparently without their permission. Whether or not she uses their real names, I feel it is still a violation of that person’s rights. And in telling their personal stories, she also fails to use their preferred pronouns.
Shrier often tries to illustrate topics around transgender youth by making false analogies with anorexic people, black people, asian people, even chickens. You just have to read the book to see the absurdity of these logical fallacies, but in NONE of the examples does Shrier manage to make a compelling argument. Indeed, much of her argument is based on such logical dishonesty.
Shrier suggests that transgender people who don’t have supportive or affirming parents should not pursue their feelings to transition or come out in order to continue getting financial support, such as college education, paid for by their parents. In other words suggesting that youth spend their lives in the closet in order to get their parents to support them. This is in the context of talking about Transgender gurus and other members of the LGBTQ+ community who use online platforms to express love and support to the transgender people who are not getting it at home. She writes of Jett Taylor, one such guru, “Just don’t expect him to pay your college tuition” on page 50. Because apparently going to college is more important than a person being able to express who they are. I don’t know about Shrier but I was taught children deserve unconditional love. If my child wants to pursue a college education, I will support them in that regardless of who they are. And hooray to Jett and others who are affirming these kids who need to feel loved. Maybe he won’t pay their college tuition, but he might be the one who helps them to live past high school.
Shrier belittles sex education in schools. She basically uses extreme, strawman examples and takes specific content of curriculum out of context to make it appear radical and obscene. Well guess what Shrier, high school kids are having sex, probably more obscene and raunchy than anything in that curriculum, so better that they learn about it in a safe and controlled environment and among people who can help guide them. Indeed, in her closing chapter “The Way Back” she urges that parents “Don’t support gender ideology in your child’s education,” and even says specifically to protest if a transgender youth is to be introduced to the student body at an assembly. Seeing what we are seeing in legislation today, it is extremely important that Shrier’s views on this topic be counter argued in an intelligent way.
Shrier minimizes the risk of suicide among transgender youth, citing without supporting data that it is a false statistic used to frighten parents into affirming their children’s gender identities. Yes, Shrier, it is frightening to think that my child has a higher risk of suicide than the average teen. In response to that, I am not going to make fear based decisions on how to control my child, but instead, learn what I can do to support their mental health.
Shrier tries to say that guidance counselors and therapists are encouraging and converting kids to become transgender, pushing them forward on the path by affirming them, and states that though she used to think therapy was a good thing, maybe it’s not so much these days. Well guess what Shrier, as someone trained as a therapist who went to school 20 years ago, I can attest that we are and were always taught to affirm experience and validate clients. We are not there to give advice or push someone down a path. And when it comes to challenging incorrect beliefs, we are not the person to challenge a belief that someone holds about their own identity. Of course there are different therapeutic methods that range from CBT to Humanistic therapy, but the success of therapy hinges on the relationship between the therapist and the client, and relationships are built on trust and understanding. Now, if what you are really talking about is deprogramming, and attesting that modern day professionals are getting kids to think of themselves as transgender against their will, or brainwashing them, well, call it what you think it is. But again, I don’t see this happening, anywhere. Transgender youth are not cult members, and therapists aren’t deprogrammers. Do you see the difference here?
Shrier undermines experts in the field of transgender medicine and counseling, such as gender-affirming medical treatment. (Just read page 97).
The moms and dads Shrier interviewed for the book are reportedly super involved in their children’s lives, sharing every phase and fad with them, but are, at the same time, “unaware” for extended periods of time when the child’s school starts using different names and pronouns for them. (No explanation needed here for the parents of children that really are involved in their kid’s lives.) For others, as a person who has both worked in schools as a guidance counselor and been involved as a parent, it is very difficult for me to imagine one of my children using different pronouns or a different name and me not hearing through ANYONE in the school community - a teacher, guidance counselor, another parent - surely SOMEONE would contact me out of concern and say, “Mrs. Day-Lewis, are you aware that your child is using a different name at school?”
Shrier spends a lot of time focusing on the side effects of hormones and the dangers of puberty blockers and testosterone. I have a question for Shrier: How are these drugs any worse than the myriad of prescription medications being offered to kids starting at MUCH younger ages for diagnosis ranging from ADD to OCD to anxiety to bi-polar disorder? Are these drugs that you can walk away from without long term side-effects or changes to biology and brain chemistry? Did you even think about all of these other drugs as you researched puberty-blockers and testosterone? At least the treatments available to people suffering from gender dysphoria are able to move the person taking them towards their goals. Most medications prescribed to youth are just a band-aid, and do nothing to address the underlying issues. And besides, I don’t know if your information is just out-dated or what, but from what I have read there is absolutely no way for most trans youth to legally get prescribed testosterone before the age of eighteen without parental consent. My stance on this is the same as it was when considering medication for ADD or depression, if it is needed to help my child feel well in body and mind, then it should absolutely be considered as an appropriate intervention.
Also related to young children being given hormones - how about birth control, which is often given a) to try and eliminate the symptoms of menstruation b) prevent teen-pregnancy and c) sometimes just because…..? As someone with degrees in counseling and years of experience as a guidance counselor I have come across many women who went on birth control as young as eleven or twelve just because their doctor or parent thought it was a good idea. How is this worse than prescribing a transgender youth puberty blockers? Birth control has many ill side effects, and there is thought in the Ayurvedic community that long term use is linked to the extensive thyroid malfunction rampant among women today.
The final and most important element missing from Shrier’s work can be broken down into four letters. L-O-V-E. If you love your child, and want them to feel your love, you’ll support them on their path. This life is THEIR life, not yours, and they are only legally required to pay any attention to you at all until they are eighteen. After that, they can do whatever they want, and be done with you forever if that is what they choose. So, what this means is that if a child is in the category of coming out later in life, say after twelve, then that parent has about six years to show up for that kid in a way that makes them want to have anything to do with them after they turn eighteen.
I’m no expert in Transgender research by any means, but I disagree with many of the other reviews that this book is somehow important or relevant. As I said in my opening paragraph, I think the only actual benefit to reading this book is to be versed enough in the content to be able to intelligently refute the faulty logic and arguments. If more books needs to be written about the transgender experience, they need to be done so with a whole lot more compassion and understanding. If not compassion and understanding, then more memoirs, books BY transgender people, or by trained experts who have worked with transgender people⸺not journalists who have decided to present a flimsy one-sided story. So if you are indeed capable of writing THAT story, for those are the stories that NEED to be told, please do so and I will buy your book.
To be clear at the start, I support basic human rights for all people, including people who wish to present socially as the stereotypic opposite sex, or even, as adults, alter their bodies as part of that quest. However, it is not a basic human right to force other people to deny material realities. Sex is a material reality, not a social construct. I do not support the anti-science ideology that conflates and confuses sex with personality/gender, claiming human sex (biology) is therefore a “spectrum”, or a “social construct”, or that a person’s sex at conception can later be changed — it cannot.
Personality is a spectrum, or actually a series of spectrums, and hopefully evolves somewhat over a lifetime as we mature. The political left seems to think that supporting the LGBT population requires total capitulation to an irrational ‘genderist’ (sexist) ideology that, like far right religious conservatism, locks sex and personality together. On the right, a girl who likes to play with trucks should squelch that interest and strive to enjoy only properly “feminine” (?) activities like the universe intended. Ridiculous. On the left, a girl who likes to play with trucks should recognize she is a boy and start puberty blockers, then testosterone, then double mastectomy. Ridiculous — a blatant revival of old-fashioned sexism in an even more destructive form. What to do? Make sure she has some trucks to play with. It’s part of her girlhood.
Many on the left either have no idea what is going on, or they are blinded by genderist ideologues who have captured the conversation with BIG MONEY support ultimately coming from the gender clinics, hormone manufacturers, and pornography empires who want all the bodies and eyeballs they can get. On the11thhourblog, you can follow the money powering the insidious marketing campaign. These big dollar interests, disguised as a civil rights movement, have corrupted LGBT organizations, the ACLU, the Dems, the academy, feminism, the liberal media, healthcare professionals and more. This left-leaning LGBT person could not be more pleased with Shrier’s compassionate, factual and balanced book. Someone who actually cares enough about young girls to stick her neck way out there in this era of unreason.
I do not want teenage girls to be misdirected and gaslit about the nature of sex, or forced to compete with boys in sports where male physicality gives an innate advantage, or forced to share female spaces with boys.
So...what a breath of fresh air this book is, exposing the role of social media, money, and the new cultish version of “trans” in making life for some adolescent girls too painful to bear. If you care about your children’s science education and/or sex education, read this book. If you have a daughter, read this book.
7/11/20 Edit:
Schrier ends the book with seven ideas for parents of girls to consider. I would add one more idea into the mix:
8. Learn how destructive relationships and groups can gain control of a person, and teach your children how to recognize the tactics of cults and thought control.
I recommend TERROR, LOVE AND BRAINWASHING by Alexandra Stein. Also consider books by Robert Lifton or Steven Hassan. Finally, read a disturbing 2017 paper written by Jenn Smith, a Canadian trans-identified male: “Synanon, the Brainwashing Game and Modern Transgender Activism: The Orwellian Implications of Transgender Politics.” You can google it.
7/25/20 Edit:
I have just learned about a new organization of healthcare professionals who recognize the problem with the current ‘gender affirmative’ model and have banded together to promote evidence-based gender medicine. These adults are standing up together in a way that makes them more difficult to silence. I am grateful.
SEGM - Society for Evidenced-Based Gender Medicine. “Our aim is to promote safe, compassionate, ethical and evidence-informed healthcare for children, adolescents, and young adults with gender dysphoria.”
12/6/20 Edit:
In the UK on 12/1/20, Keira Bell age 23 won her case against the NHS Tavistock Gender Identity Development Service. The Court determined that adolescents and children under age 16 are NOT capable of giving consent to life-altering medical and surgical interventions such as puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgeries to address gender dysphoria. Further, at ages 16-17 physicians should consider obtaining a court order for such treatment. This is a major win in the fight against the rampant medical transing of children. You can read the judgment for yourself by searching Bell-v-Tavistock.
12/21/20 Edit:
Within the last couple of days Amazon has deleted all the comments made in response to reviews. About 23 comments were made in response to my review. That dialogue was genuine and beneficial. I am sorry to see it has been removed from view.
Top reviews from other countries
I felt compelled to read this after several women I know who have detransitioned said that it tackled what they had been through sympathetically and with honesty.
For anyone unaware of the current landscape around gender, particularly for adolescents, this is both timely and eye-opening.
For those of us who have been studying these issues for years and are aware of many of the facts laid out here, it’s nonetheless an important read, especially hearing the stories of young people and understanding what a little of what it is like to be an adolescent in the internet age (terrifying, it seems).
There are a lot of one star reviews for this. That isn’t, I believe, because this is a bad book or because it is mistaken. I think it’s getting a lot of negativity because the truth feels dangerous to people who would have you believe that hardly anyone detransitioners and that being trans is nothing to do with a medical condition and everything to do with identity.
Parents, particularly, will be doing themselves a disservice if they don’t read this book. It might help your child.
Most especially your daughter.
That brings me to my next point. I'm disappointed that autism is barely mentioned in this book. I believe it should have been, since a large percentage of trans-identifying girls of the ROGD subtype are on the autism spectrum. The percentage may be even higher than currently known, due to the underdiagnosis of autism in women and girls. However, the author makes no attempt to explore this link at all. As an autistic woman, I believe this issue cannot be fully understood until the unique and discrete psychology of women and girls with autism is taken into account.
If you are wondering if you should read this book: yes, absolutely, you should. But don't make it the only thing you read, because there is much more to know about the subject than just what is written here.
Understanding the world girls are growing up in at the moment and the pressures they are under is vital in beginning to have some understanding of the huge rise we are seeing in girls suddenly identifying as male or as non-binary.
Having some understanding of these issues is so important in thinking about how we can best help these girls navigate the stresses and uncertainties of puberty and adolescence.
This book gives a compassionate and truthful overview using stories about real teenage girls and their families.
There's a little-discussed phenomenon that's been going around in the last few years known as Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, which has mainly been affecting girls and young women. Essentially, it does just what the name implies: children who have never shown any sign of gender confusion become suddenly and overwhelmingly convinced that they were born in the wrong body. The teenage years have always been pretty hard on girls and they are more susceptible than boys to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, cutting and eating disorders. ROGD is just the latest manifestation of this.
The author is really at her best when describing the mental state of girls experiencing the pain of growing up in modern society, with its restrictions, its loneliness, its unrealistic expectations and its ubiquitous porn. She has real compassion, and sheds a lot of light for parents (especially male parents like me) on what their daughters might be going through. She does this without being judgemental and certainly without dismissing actual trans people: she has interviewed many for the book, and refers to them respectfully throughout. To that extent, it isn't really about being trans at all: she wants to distinguish between the different strands of the trans community and point out that in most cases, these girls aren't really a part of it at all. Having laid the groundwork to establish this, she describes the social contagion aspect of ROGD and related trends, and the online network of people who "support" girls by basically encouraging them to embrace the illness, and offering a ton of peer-pressure to stop them turning back. There are loads of first-hand testimonies to support this. She describes the well-meaning but wrong-headed professionals who are trained to only ever affirm the girls' self-diagnosis, never to suggest exploring other related mental health concerns. Parents, who know the children best and love them above all else, are often treated by professionals as if they are somehow holding their children back. In some cases they are even given the stark choice "would you rather have a living son or a dead daughter", which is a horrible way of posing the dilemma, since it is designed to hijack the parents' natural protective instincts and guilt them into colluding with their daughters taking Lupron then, later, losing their fertility, changing their voice and appearance permanently and even undergoing unnecessary surgery. In America, where big pharma has already made a fortune from over-diagnosing childhood ADHD, depression and anxiety, the possibility of a whole new market of lifelong patients to buy hormone blockers, testosterone and pain meds is a godsend. It's really agonising for me, as a parent, to think of children herded down this road to victimhood by adults who really ought to bloody know better. And my heart goes out to the parents in the book, even though they aren't always sympathetic. Some are very supportive, trying to do the right thing, but unsure what that is. Others are bitter and angry at seeing their children lured away by an online cult. And it's the parents, more than anyone, who can benefit from this book, because there isn't really anything else on the market right now. It's not going to scold you or scare you, it's pretty level-headed. It has its flaws or course, all books do, but it really opens your eyes to what's happening. It shows that there is hope, and that you can be an anchor for your daughter, to help her regain a sense of herself as she is, without feeling like you are hectoring her Of course, you'll be castigated by activists anyway and called a transphobes, because that's the world we live in now: read some of the one star reviews from people who obviously haven't read the book if you want to get an idea of what to expect. But someone has to stand up for the girls and if professionals won't, if the online community won't, well it'll just have to be the parents, won't it?













