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The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression

4.2 out of 5 stars 38 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-1594862915
ISBN-10: 1594862915
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychotherapist Diamond (Male Menopause) focuses on how hormonal changes and chronic stress can trigger "irritable male syndrome: a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger." Drawing a parallel to premenstrual syndrome, he explains how IMS can result at any time of life, but primarily in puberty and midlife, from shifting testosterone levels; he also shows how it has roots in the changing role of women, workplace situations, increased stress and interpersonal relationships, which threaten male self-esteem. The disorder's earliest symptom is irritability, which untreated can spiral into anger, violence or depression. Diamond focuses on the syndrome's blaming behavior, often directed toward women. "We can have an almost irrational need to break away and be free.... We often see our partners as the ones who are holding us back," he writes. So Diamond includes diagnostic questionnaires and counsels men on how to recognize and handle these difficult feelings. He also offers specific steps for others to help an IMS man in denial, plus what to do if either partner wants to leave the relationship. While some advice is familiar—eat right, exercise, consider taking medications, nurture your spiritual side—Diamond's insights may help men most by giving them context and explanation for what they're feeling physically and emotionally, thus helping IMS men to take steps to feel better about themselves.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“A pioneering breakthrough!” ―Stephen Johnson, PhD, executive director of The Men's Center of Los Angeles

“A hopeful book that offers psychological and spiritual wisdom to those men who are struggling with anger, depression, and the changing emotional realities of their lives.” ―Fredric E. Rabinowitz, PhD, coauthor of Men and Depression and Man Alive

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Rodale Books (September 3, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1594862915
  • ISBN-13: 978-1594862915
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #417,102 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Harold McFarland HALL OF FAMEVINE VOICE on October 14, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Why do so many husbands, fathers, and sons who are normally very loving and kind suddenly become irritable, angry, and withdrawn? That is the question answered in The Irritable Male Syndrome by best-selling author Jed Diamond. In the book he describes how the syndrome is diagnosed, what to expect, and how to treat it. Current research shows that the four primary factors for Irritable Male Syndrome are changing testosterone levels, chemical imbalances, loss of masculine identity, and stress.

This book exposes the emotions and thoughts in the deepest parts of many men. While some may control those emotions and so not exhibit irritable male syndrome, the book still does an excellent job of describing many of the stresses and emotional traits of men as well as offering explanations and ways to deal with them. This is by far one of the best self-help, psychology based books I have read this year and one of the best I have ever read. The Irritable Male Syndrome is very highly recommended and should be read by all women who want to understand their husband, boyfriend, or significant other as well as those who may be suffering with the syndrome or those who love them.
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Format: Hardcover
I had read several other publications by Jed Diamond and found them all to very succinct and helpful. For five years my wife has been complaining that my behavior was erratic, that I would fly off the handle at the slightest provocation and she wanted her husband back. From my vantage point I could come up with all kinds of "reasons" why it was all her fault. Reading the Irritable Male Syndrome was one of the most self revealing things I have ever done. There wasn't a page where I didn't clearly see myself and behaviors that I found appalling, yet, there I was naked as could be. It is must reading for any man entering middle age or any man who has been told he is "acting strangely" don't brush off those comments. Read this book if you read nothing else. You won't totally eliminate the problem overnight, but I can assure you, you won't be able to hide. And when you acknowledge what is going on - then you can really get down to the nitty-gritty work of getting back on track. I applaude Jed not only for writing the book, but for openly sharing his own experiences. Now, I don't feel as if I am some kind of freak. In those five years, I not only lost a job, but a career! I gave up a testicle for having torqued it doing an exercise routine, my mother died, my son moved to Atlanta, and we had been married 30+ years. GET THE BOOK IT IS THE BEST INVESTMENT YOU'LL EVER MAKE. Bob Bruce, Cleveland, Ohio
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Around me I've watched men over 50 suddenly dissolve marriages, maltreat their spouses, trade long-cherished values for whim, fall victim to depression, or withdraw into impenetrable cocoons. And I've wondered why. It was logical to blame and disrespect them for their transgressions ... their failings of character.

That's until a sensitive psychotherapist had the consciousness and conviction to search for the origin of these problems. Why have so many loving and giving women and children had to endure so much heartache from men in their lives? Is this just selfishness or immaturity?

Finally, Jed Diamond provides answers with an empowering revelation that IMS is both manageable and treatable. This gently fulfilling book brings empathy, perspective, solutions and solace to those who suffer and those who suffer the consequences.

His articulate and sensitive voice belongs in any home where people are trying to understand and manage the inevitable and sometimes unwholesome consequences of male passages through life stages. The author speaks to a new awareness akin to the discovery of PMS and the liberation that this insight has brought to women.

Men deserve, and with this book receive, their own measure of social sensitivity to the most challenging times of life. So much pathology can be eliminated in families and relationships when enough people read this book.

Jed Diamond has given many a second chance to make their "third-age" more productive, happier, and less fraught with tribulation. His book is a breakthrough that this aging country - which tends to marginalize and disenfranchise its aging males - sorely needs.
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Format: Paperback
Yes, you heard me. It's HIM! NOT you! (So go ahead you angry men with IMS, flame away.) WOMEN - Quit blaming yourself. That is a woman's nature. To look inside ourselve to fix another's flaws. To listen while another beats us down verbally and criticizes and eventually believe it and attempt to find solutions for problems that are not our own. Let me explain my situation.

Everything changed between my sweet husband and I about a year ago. He became argumentative, irritable, moody, aggressive...and all of this AT A DROP OF A HAT! And to top things off, according to him, I was to blame. I began seeing a therapist believing that yes, maybe I was, maybe I was the cause of his stress, his mood swings, his irritable, this general hostility that I felt every time I was around him.

Then one day I was speaking my sister who mentioned this book and how she was convinced her fiancé had "Irritable Male Syndrome" a sort of male equivalent to PMS and I had to laugh...until I bought the book for myself; and it read it one evening with tears streaming down my face. It made sense, it's so obviously hormonal. Women recognize this in each other and in ourselves, but not our men.

This book has saved my sanity and may save yours. Ladies, if the husband you once had a loving, warm, open relationship with now treats you with utter hostility and constantly tells you he is the way he is because you don't do this or you don't do that or because you nag or you're a b!tch, even though deep down you know this is not the case, get this book. It will make you realize that you alone are not in this problem. It will help you understand the changes your man is undergoing and how you can help him help himself.
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