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Island of the Sequined Love Nun Paperback – July 1, 2000
| Christopher Moore (Author) Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author |
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Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise -- a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond High Priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.
- Print length325 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherAvon Books (P)
- Publication dateJuly 1, 2000
- Dimensions0.75 x 5.5 x 8 inches
- ISBN-100380816547
- ISBN-13978-0380816545
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About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Tucker Case awoke to find himself hanging from a breadfruit tree by a coconut fiber rope. He was suspended facedown about six feet above the sand in some sort of harness, his hands and feet tied together in front of him. He lifted his head and strained to look around. He could see a white sand beach fringed with coconut palms, a coconut husk fire, a palm frond hut, a path of white coral gravel that led into a jungle. Completing the panorama was the grinning brown face of an ancient native.
The native reached up with a clawlike hand and pinched Tucker's cheek.
Tucker screamed.
"Yum," the native said.
"Who are you?" Tucker asked. "Where am I? Where's the navigator?"
The native just grinned. His eyes were yellow, his hair a wild tangle of curl and bird feathers, and his teeth were black and had been filed to points. He looked like a potbellied skeleton upholstered in distressed leather. Puckered pink scars decorated his skin; a series of small scars on his chest described the shape of a shark. His only clothing was a loincloth woven from some sort of plant fiber. Tucked in the waist cord was a vicious-looking bush knife. The native patted Tucker's cheek with an ashy callused palm, then turned and walked away, leaving him hanging.
"Wait!" Tucker shouted. "Let me down. I have money. I can pay you.
The native ambled down the path without looking back. Tucker struggled against the harness, but only managed to put himself into a slow spin. As he turned, he caught sight of the navigator, hanging unconscious a few feet away.
"Hey, you alive?"
The navigator didn't stir, but Tucker could see that he was breathing. "Hey, Kimi, wake up!" Still no reaction.
He strained against the rope around his wrists, but the bonds only seemed to tighten. After a few minutes, he gave up, exhausted. He rested and looked around for something to give this bizarre scene some meaning. Why had the native hung them in a tree?
He caught movement in his peripheral vision and turned to see a large brown crab struggling at the end of a string tied to a nearby branch. There was his answer: They were hung in the tree, like the crab, to keep them fresh until they were ready to be eaten.
Tucker shuddered, imagining the native ' s black teeth closing on his shin. He tried to focus on a way to escape before the native returned, but his mind kept diving into a sea of regrets and second guesses, looking for the exact place where the world had turned on him and put him in the cannibal tree.
Like most of the big missteps he had taken in his life, it had started in a bar.
The Seattle Airport Holiday Inn lounge was all hunter green, brass rails, and oak veneer. Remove the bar and it looked like Macy's men's department. It was one in the morning and the bartender, a stout, middle-aged Hispanic woman, was polishing glasses and waiting for her last three customers to leave so she could go home. At the end of a bar a young woman in a short skirt and too much makeup sat alone. Tucker Case sat next to a businessman several stools down.
"Lemmings," the businessman said.
"Lemmings?" asked Tucker.
They were drunk. The businessman was heavy, in his late fifties, and wore a charcoal gray suit. Broken veins glowed on his nose and cheeks.
"Most people are lemmings," the businessman continued. "That's why they fail. They behave like suicidal rodents."
"But you're a higher level of rodent?" Tucker Case said with a smart-ass grin. He was thirty, just under six foot, with neatly trimmed blond hair and blue eyes. He wore navy slacks, sneakers' and a white shirt with blue-and-gold epaulets. His captain's hat sat on the bar next to a gin and tonic. He was more interested in the girl at the end of the bar than in the businessman's conversation, but he didn't know how to move without being obvious.
"No, but I've kept my lemming behavior limited to my personal relationships. Three wives." The businessman waved a swizzle stick under Tucker's nose. "Success in America doesn't require any special talent or any kind of extra effort. You just have to be consistent and not fuck up. That's how most people fail. They can't stand the pressure of getting what they want, so when they see that they are getting close, they engineer some sort of fuckup to undermine their success."
The lemming litany was making Tucker uncomfortable. He'd been on a roll for the last four years, going from bartending to flying corporate jets. He said, "Maybe some people just don't know what they want. Maybe they only look like lemmings.
"Everyone knows what they want. You know what you want, don't you?"
"Sure, I know," Tucker said. What he wanted right now was to get out of this conversation and get to know the girl at the end of the bar before closing time. She'd been staring at him for five minutes.
"What?" The businessman wanted an answer. He waited.
"I just want to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm happy."
The businessman shook his head. "I'm sorry, son, but I don't buy it. You're going over the cliff with the rest of the lemmings."
"You should be a motivational speaker," Tuck said, his attention drawn by the girl, who was getting up, putting money on the bar, picking up her cigarettes, and putting them into her purse.
She said, "I know what I want."
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Product details
- Publisher : Avon Books (P) (July 1, 2000)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 325 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0380816547
- ISBN-13 : 978-0380816545
- Item Weight : 9.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 0.75 x 5.5 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #5,796,560 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #50,727 in Humorous Fiction (Books)
- #219,239 in Literary Fiction (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Christopher Moore is the author of 15 previous novels: Practical Demonkeeping, Coyote Blue, Bloodsucking Fiends, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Lamb, Fluke, The Stupidest Angel, A Dirty Job, You Suck, Fool, Bite Me, Sacré Bleu, The Serpent of Venice, and Secondhand Souls. He lives in San Francisco.
Customer reviews
Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2016
Top reviews from the United States
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The protagonist of “Island of the Sequined Love Nun” is a colossal screw-up pilot, Tucker Case. Tucker is a well-developed character and his moments of self-reflection have some real depth to them. Tucker is a screw-up with a moral sense. There is right and wrong in his life, even if he does not always live up to its standards. There are some caricatures in the text also, but it creates a nice working mix to the cast of characters. One of my personal favorites is the old cannibal Sarapul. This character demonstrates how good Moore is at slipping slang into a character’s speech that is not at all realistic, but boy is it funny.
Religion and what constitutes faith is a key component in the book, and Moore seems to be mocking both (a little) and celebrating them (a lot). Pulling off that hat trick makes for great satire. And it gives this work some of its better moments.
I believe this is one of Moore’s stronger efforts. There are few to no slow moments. The ending is not great, but it works. “Island of the Sequined Love Nun” is clever, and there are not many books out there that examine cargo cults, faith, and sex in quite the manner this text does. Enjoy it.
Mr. Moore reminds me of a literary version of the famed Coen Brothers who have created such odd, funny movies as "Fargo" and "The Big Lebowski." I find the author's works very enjoyable simply because it's impossible to know how the story is going to unfold. Pretty much, it's the sky's the limit in Mr. Moore's hilarious novels. There is no taboo he isn't willing to skewer. Heck, I don't even assume that the main protagonist will not be killed somewhere in the middle of the story. The first two-thirds of this rollicking adventure is shrouded in the mystery as to why Tuck's faults are suited so well for being the island's pilot. The last third is wondering how it will be resolved.
The book had me laughing on page one and kept it up for the entire work. Mr. Moore certainly has a gift for colorful, hilarious prose. The author has become one of my go-to writers if I'm in urgent need of a light read that is chockfull of laughs. If you've never read a Christopher Moore novel, his fourth work is as good a place to start as any.
I have to say, after reading this book, that I am finally unashamed to say that I am a Christopher Moore fan. I suppose I should be, since this is the fifth or sixth book of his that I have absolutely devoured in the way that is hard to do after having the fun sucked out of a lot of reading because of graduate studies in English. It was this past and my own literary snobbish that didn't want to be a Christopher Moore fan. His books are marketed so that his audience is the same kind of clever woman that reads Tom Robbins books (another author I have an fraught relationship with). I mean, this book has a bright pink cover, one that screams "The man reading this has obvious feminine qualities. When he watches the Harry Potter movies he wants to be Granger, not Potter," and things of the sort. But I have no shame. Moore makes me want more.
I'll gloss on the plot: Tucker Case is a pilot with a past, and a future. After burning out as the personal air chauffeur of a Mary Kay stand-in, he is engaged as a jet pilot for a missionary couple on a Pacific island with a suspiciously large amount of money. Mysteries are solved, laughs are had, and freedom is sought. We also get to have a look at cargo cults and shark hunts. I won't be able to do it justice: you should probably just read the book.
Top reviews from other countries
Christopher Moore is a very original storyteller









