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Kerry Cohen Hoffmann
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It's Not You, It's Me Hardcover – June 9, 2009

by Kerry Cohen Hoffmann (Author)
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 16 ratings
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Funny and touching—this is a heartfelt breakup story.

Zoe loves Henry.

Henry dumps Zoe.

Zoe wants Henry back—at any cost.

Zoe’s two best friends come up with a plan to help Zoe get what she thinks she wants. The plan: make Henry jealous.

But the plan takes a surprising turn. . . .

Spanning thirty-one days in the cycle of a breakup, Kerry Cohen Hoffmann’s humorous and poignant novel depicts a girl whose single-minded focus on her ex-boyfriend has pulled her far from the person she most needs to win back—herself.
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  1. Reading age
    12 years and up
  2. Print length
    192 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Grade level
    7 - 9
  5. Dimensions
    5.94 x 0.77 x 8.56 inches
  6. Publisher
    Delacorte Books for Young Readers
  7. Publication date
    June 9, 2009
  8. ISBN-10
    0385736967
  9. ISBN-13
    978-0385736961
  10. See all details
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Teachers' picks | Explore children's books by grade

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 8–11—After 6 months and 218 kisses, high school junior Zoë is blindsided when her boyfriend dumps her—he wants to focus on his band, he says, and not have a girlfriend right now. Obviously he's made a big mistake, and Zoë sets out to prove it to him. Her best friends discourage her efforts to win him back (which include stuffing her poetry through his bedroom window, snooping through his email, and flirting with his friends) and tell her she's acting crazy, but she can't help herself. She has been completely wrapped up in Henry since they started dating, to the exclusion of her own friends and activities, and now that he's extricated himself from her life, she has trouble coping with this loss of identity. It's a common story and realistically told. Zoë is believably self-centered, but her friends' lives center on her, too, offering advice and encouragement (and, in the case of one male friend, offering himself as "excellent boyfriend material"). The rushed conclusion shows hope for Zoë as she makes efforts to find the self she jettisoned for Henry. Girls will relate to the teen's heartbreak and healing, though her self-pity and manipulations may irritate more than amuse.—Brandy Danner, Wilmington Memorial Library, MA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Kerry Cohen Hoffmann’s young adult novels include The Good Girl and Easy (S&S), an ALA-YALSA Quick Pick and finalist for the Oregon Book Award. She lives in Portland, Oregon.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Delacorte Books for Young Readers (June 9, 2009)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 192 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0385736967
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0385736961
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 12 years and up
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ 7 - 9
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.94 x 0.77 x 8.56 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 16 ratings

About the author

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Kerry Cohen Hoffmann

Kerry Cohen Hoffmann

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Kerry Cohen is a doctor of clinical psychology and works as a licensed therapist in Portland, Oregon. She is the author of the memoirs Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity (Second Edition with new introduction and cover pubbed 2021), Seeing Ezra: A Mother’s Journey Through Autism, Unconditional Love, and the Meaning of Normal, and Girl Trouble. Her self-help book Crazy for You: Breaking the Spell of Sex and Love Addiction has helped thousands of people struggling with intimacy and relationship issues. Her work has been featured in the New York Times and Washington Post, and she has been a guest on Dr. Phil and Good Morning America. Her story was also featured on WE Network as part of the documentary The Secret Lives of Women. Visit her at www.kerry-cohen.com.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
16 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Kelly M.
5.0 out of 5 stars It's Not You, It's Me
Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2012
Verified Purchase
I bought this book for my girlfriend for Christmas and she really enjoyed it. It was hard for her to put it down once she started reading it.
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MeMe
4.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!!!
Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2009
I am a huge fan of Kerry Hoffmann. I have read her previous books and adored them. I was, therefore, extremely thrilled when I received this one!
It's Not You, It's Me is actually a YA novel where we meet our main character Zoë who is in the midst of a romantic crisis. She has been dating Henry for the last 6 months and every night at exactly 9:00 p.m. they call each other on the telephone and say goodnight to each other. Except this night (day 1), Zoë has been calling and all she gets is voice mail. She immediately gets a sinking, sick feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her that this relationship is over.

Sure enough, the next day, Henry tells her its over 'but hey! let's be friends' (why do guys ALWAYS say this absolutely stupid thing????).

From this moment, we, the readers get to follow, day by day, Zoe's descent into heartbreak and depression where she is unable to accept his decision and tries just about everything to 'get him back'.
From the first page of this novel, I instantly connected with Zoë. Although to some, the fact that Henry was not answering his telephone on that one night would mean nothing, I would have (I actually have) reacted exactly the same as Zoë did - freaked out! Somehow she knew - even if to most people, she just appeared to be panicking over nothing.

What struck me the most about this novel is how single minded and totally misguided Zoe was! No matter what her friends told her or no matter what she knew inside was the right thing to do, she almost self-destructively went ahead and did the opposite. When I read the passage where she actually climbs up a tree in order to throw a poem in Henry's room, I thought 'this girl has lost it' and I felt myselt cringe. Yet, at the same time, I kept asking myself how many stupid, dangerous and foolish things I had done in my life (not only as a teen) to get, keep or get back a guy that had left.

I have a theory that for the most part, when it comes to men, women can be very stupid!!!! and I kept thinking this as I was reading this book.
Here is a bright girl, who has good friends, a fairly stable family (although I have to say that I thought that the parental support and interest in this novel was almost non-existent!) can be so thrown off by a breakup - yet, I also knew exactly how she felt. This book was difficult to read at times because it brought back lots of bad memories for me (although I never went up a tree thank goodness).

Having read Hoffmann's books, I am familiar with her background and it is obvious that she is very familiar with her main character - Hoffmann is a master at taking the 'broken' side of the female brain - usually the one associated with sex, love and men and putting it out there.
This book is a must read for all females - its almost like looking into a mirror.
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Peggy
5.0 out of 5 stars love
Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2014
Verified Purchase
Kerry Cohen writes the most amazing books, they help me more than she will ever know. Thank you so much!
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TeensReadToo
5.0 out of 5 stars Courtesy of Teens Read Too
Reviewed in the United States on July 2, 2009
Zoe Gill has been dating Henry for six months. SIX MONTHS!!! In teenage years, that is a lifetime! She has counted every single kiss; every single moment they have been together.

Zoe believed that their bond would last forever. But now, something has gone horribly awry. Henry doesn't answer his phone at the predetermined time of 9:00pm. Zoe begins to analyze Henry's behavior. He has been acting strangely.....

Zoe frantically enlists the help of her friends, Julia and Shannon, to identify this peculiar behavior. Like true friends, they tell her not to worry, and that everything will be fine at school the next day.

Inevitably, it's not fine. These were the first signs of a major teenage break-up. Zoe is desperate to discover what she did wrong, and ultimately, how to win back Henry's heart. Should she make him jealous? What if she ignores him?

Zoe is willing to go to any lengths to get Henry back, but is he really worth it?

Kerry Cohen Hoffmann has written a story of teenage love and loss that takes place over the course of a month. The reader is able to watch what happens to Zoe after the demise of her relationship with Henry. She suffers unbelievable lows, but eventually discovers that she must begin to love herself before anyone else will. Any girl who has had their heart broken will identify with Zoe's plight.

We've all been there.........done that.

Reviewed by: LadyJay
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SLH
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE THIS BOOK!
Reviewed in the United States on September 20, 2009
I loved this book. It was so easy to get into this book and I could totally relate to it. I liked this book becuase it showed what crazy and funny things girls do after they get dumped like wear 40 pounds of make up, mini skirts and push up bras just to get there ex's attention. I think you should read it!
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Anna Schroeder
2.0 out of 5 stars Not as good as it sounds, unfortunately.
Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2014
Let's just say I had high expectations for this book and they were most definitely not met. I went into this book thinking that it would be somewhat easy to relate to and that I would enjoy it. I did not. I feel that the idea was GREAT, it just wasn't executed in a good manner.

The biggest issue I had with this book was the main character. Zoe was... an interesting character. She was most of the problem with this book. Most of the book she is just by herself, of course, because she was the person who was broken up with. However, I found that after Henry broke up with her, she became quite a stalker. Most of the things that she did were just not normal... and not normal for any girl who was broken up with.

So, all in all, it wasn't the writing that was bad - the writing was actually quite good - it was just Zoe. I didn't care for her or her actions, and that made reading this book really difficult.
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