JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
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- Carries cargo or a crew of up to five internally or on the roof.
- Piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch.
- 6hp Tecumseh gasoline engine, top speed 40 mph.
- Includes head/tail and turn signal lights, trim and underbody lighting.
- 400 watt premium sound with PA system, plush interior, and external camera.
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The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it's own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.
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I remember this one time we were so hung over after a night of long partying. Playing bochi with thermal detonators. Hookers thrown to the Rancor. We were f&^%ed up. Right? So next morning we were so hung over we could barely stand. I'm on top of the Badongadonk swaying and praying I don't pass out and fall off. We're escorting the party barge over to the sarlacc pit to toss in a couple of loafers and some wookie because they owed the boss money. (Man, NEVER ask for an advance on your paycheck in that place.) Anyway, turns out one of these bums is a Jedi. Someone palms his ass a laser sword and all HELL breaks loose. I remember Boba Fett was still so stoned he couldn't even use is legs. He just Leroy Jenkins his way into battle on a jetpack and didn't last thirty seconds. BAM, down the sarlacc pitt. I lost a lot of coworkers down nature's garburator that day, but that's okay I owed most of them money. I am TERRIBLE at playing sabacc.
The party barge blew up like a fireworks festival that went wrong. I'm suspicious that had something to do with the several thousand gallons of illicit booze on board. Anywho, throughout the whole ordeal the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank worked just fine. Just ask the black guy who stole it.
But that's a minor problem. We used to be an ordinary family living a boring life in the suburbs. Now, we are getting contracts with Libyan nationalists (and yes, we DO make Back to the Future references!) and Chechen rebels. We can't wait to organise a military strike on our government and install a puppet leader. I hope you all get to live the dream like we are!
But seal the interior and place the Badonkadonk over a large firepit and you have instant hot tub.That saved me about $10k on a hot tub purchase.
Note #1 - the metal sides get hot and can burn you. Layer with towels.
Note #2 - a bonfire under this baby makes an amazing Lobster and Crab cooker. Windows let you see your food cooking!