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About James C. Petersen D.Min L.P.C.
Jim is an experienced workshop leader and counselor, who developed his own practical techniques for improving communication and relationships. Among them are key tools – the Flat Brain Theory, the Talker Listener Card, and a collection of Listening Techniques – which will help you accept yourself and others and build your relationships.
Dr. Petersen’s material has benefited corporate clients, city governments, colleges and universities, the hearing-impaired community, students, teachers, parents, couples, individuals, and churches. His informal manner endears him to novices and experts alike.
He developed his counseling and teaching skills in forty years of pastoral ministry, which included counseling as a professional licensed in Oregon.
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My readers often tell me that the Talker-Listener approach to communicating between people causes true transformation in their lives. “Listening into love,” some call it or “A journey into a higher quality of life.” They mention self-discovery and healthy relationships.
This second edition moves more explicitly into techniques and situations that can create, nurture, and support such deep changes. No book alone can change lives and I don’t pretend that this one will. But those who not only read, but practice and incorporate creative listening into their lives may find themselves impacted beyond expectation.
This is my hope for readers of this second edition. But if that’s too much, I hope the flat-brain theory, the tango, the card, and the practical listening techniques will lighten your path through life and broaden the smile on your face. That would be enough for me.
Specifcally, instead of one chapter of listening techniques, I spread them throughout to get you practicing sooner. The more complex ones come later.
I beefed up Managing the Flat-Brain Syndrome, that is, how to enable growth in ourselves and others.
I added more Communication Traps, those common mistakes we un-knowingly make that cause us trouble with those close to us. One we often make with youngsters (and adults) is Asking for one-word answers. And I take on that relationship-shattering urge we have to fix our partners’ problems in Fixing it — “I want a consultant, not a husband (wife).” This one can be a game-changer in a relationship.
I expanded the decision-making processes for individuals, couples, groups, and in counseling in Listening Techniques for Moving On. We also look at Motivation Levels and Balance Scales for weighing decisions.
Instead of an index I’ve given you an expansive table of contents so you’ll be able to find the sections you want later when you need them.
From on-line comments and emails
“Love, love, love this book!”
“I have never read anyone’s work who had such a grip on how people get along through talking and listening. Petersen will teach you a few moves that will help you get along better with others. It is worth its weight in gold.”
“This book is a journey into self-discovery focusing on communication techniques that promote healthy relationships.“ John
“I can't understand why it doesn't say "Millions Sold" on the cover. The contents, like many counseling materials I review, sound "corny" at first glance, but the truths contained therein are priceless!” Joel
“I was assigned this book as part of a grad school course. At first glimpse, I thought it was too simple a textbook. Ha! I was wrong! The concepts and practices of the book are amazing tools which will change the way you communicate daily, or in dyads or groups to pursue better human understanding. This book is on my mental list of most life-impacting reads ever. Love it!” Annette
“Thank you so much! Your book Why Don't We Listen Better? revolutionized my life and the lives of those around me!”
“If I could be Queen For A Day, I'd ask that everyone learn the techniques presented in this book, and be a ‘card-carrying’ listener.” Maren
“Your techniques work and have been a great tool for me in both counseling and coaching.”
“Using the Talker-Listener process saved my marriage several years ago and continues to help my husband and me communicate hot button topics with each other. We tend to start arguing and then bring out the card, not what is suggested, but once the card is there in the middle it kind of becomes a referee in our exchanges.
He discusses the need to abandon the win-lose mentality of contemporary culture. His book highlights our culture’s courtroom-like communication that so often puts us at odds with each other. And then continues by presenting time-tested methods of dealing with common communication land mines. His powerfully intuitive yet tongue-in-cheek Flat-Brain theory shows how we get upset and confused in tense situations, why we have trouble hearing each other and what to do about it.
The creative use of the “taking turns” we learned as children can end arguing as we know it.
Petersen’s pièce de résistance is the inventive Talker Listener Card. This gem is practical, easy to use and portable, a format that elevates idle banter and argument into the arena of authentic dialogue. When people use the card they help each other relax, think clearer and build empathy and cooperation. He includes chapters on using the Card to improve listening with couples, difficult groups and as a family dinner table game for ages 5 to 105.
Why Don’t We Listen Better? presents other original easy-to-use tools and techniques to help people develop skills at what he calls come-alive communication. The Kindle or Kindle Apps are great ways to get the most out of this book. It is organized in short sections, labeled in the Table of Contents so you can click on and immediately find the technique or idea you want to review. The thirty listening techniques can travel with you, get you started improving your relationships and help you listen effectively. His insights will give you creative ways to handle both daily interactions and the difficult situations of anger, grief and conflict.
This veteran counselor’s unique approach to listening has changed lives. He distilled forty plus years of pastoral experience, counseling and teaching into this informal, often humorous volume loaded with practical tips, examples, and techniques to practice. An experienced seminar and workshop leader, Jim has taught his practical techniques to corporate clients, city governments, colleges and universities, the hearing-impaired community, students, teachers, parents, couples and churches. The informal manner that endears him to novices and experts alike is reflected in this valuable book for anyone who communicates with others.
In retirement Jim maintains a counseling practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon, specializing in counseling couples and teaching effective communication. His degrees include a Master of Divinity and Doctor of Ministry from San Francisco Theological Seminary and a BA in mathematics from Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon.
“What an eye-opener! When I started the book I thought I was a good listener. Now I know better. I am a card carrying listener/talker now. Insightful, thought provoking and thoroughly enjoyable to read.”
—Jim Misko, author and commercial realtor, Anchorage, AK
"I have been using Jim Petersen’s Talker-Listener Card and communication strategies in my practice for ten years. My clients consistently show improvement in their ability to work collaboratively and cooperatively after learning these strategies. This is especially important for parents who must work together to raise their children after divorce.