Jersey Shore Shark Attack [Blu-ray]
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With summer in full swing and a record-breaking Fourth of July crowd soaking up the boardwalk sun, Seaside Heights is the place to be in New Jersey! But when an illegal coastal drilling operation inadvertently unleashes a horde of man-eating albino bull sharks, the city is hurled into deadly chaos! Can a local Jersey crew band together to fend off the blood thirsty, ravenous sharks before the whole town is consumed?
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Top Customer Reviews
Plot: Jersey Shore, a wild place for spring breakers and locals to enjoy.... But when an oil rig disturbs a sleeping ground (or something) for albino sharks with glowing red eyes, the bloodbath will begin and it'll be up to the mocks of the jersey shore characters to save the day!
Review: In my opinion I thought that if they had done a movie where the first half or at least first quarter could've taken place in 1916 with the real jersey shore shark attacks it would've been a bit better even if it were to be a bit long, but I guess the makers of this movie (which included Fred Olen Ray, Director of Super Shark, Dire Wolf, and hell even Silent Venom) saw 12 Days of Terror and thought well, guess it is time to move onto the jersey Shore Cast.... And don't get me wrong, I like Fred Olen Rays Movies, most of the time but Jersey Shore Shark Attack was so over the top.... I mean yeah it was stupid with annoying characters but there are two ways you can make a movie's plot when its title is Jersey Shore Shark Attack, you can make it serious like 12 Days of Terror, or you can make basically a fun mockery of other shark flicks and throw in the Jersey Shores Cast. The CGI sharks were incredibly laughable and I usually try to look out for the best in the bad CGI department and I only noticed like one decent CG shot and that was with a shark ramming its frigging head into a pear.... These are without a doubt the worst CG sharks I've ever seen and trust me when I say, I have seen them all. The gore was there but farfetched and the soundtrack consisted of hip-hop and rap and I just couldn't stand it.... Jersey Shore Shark Attack was a total cheese fest and I think the movie would've been much better without the mock cast of the members of Jersey Shore. I remember when this movie came out in June and it was the first of three other movies to come on Syfy Channel that month and it was the first, but the clear better one was Piranhaconda which had immensely better CGI and characters and gore and action, Arachnoquake and Bigfoot followed and they were way better than this movie. I don't want to sound like I'm ranting because this film isn't 100% bad; it's just only 30% of it is good.
Acting: Please Don't Make Me!
Gore: To be honest this is the only shark movie I've ever scene where someone's guts gets ripped out. That being said, we also get nasty yet over-the-top severed fingers, a severed arm, lots of red water, and uh, oh yeah... lots and lots of blood spraying.... It had such over the top gore but it was gory so I shall give it credit for that.
Bottom Line: This is one of the worst shark movies I've ever seen on Syfy but then again it was better than Shark Zone or the Shark Attack Trilogy.... It wasn't the worst shark movie ever but it was definitely the worst shark movie of the year in my opinion. It was a little under decent and truly a heavily shaken mixed bag for me. Ending on a good note I dug the cheesy feel the movie had and the editing was fun to watch.
Rated R for Some Bloody Creature Violence
Is it worth the Buy on a scale of 1-10: 2
For the Movie itself on a scale of 1-5: 2
The biggest detractor from the movie is how slow it gets when the ancillary subplots rear their heads: tales of the 1916 boardwalk shark attack (told by "Sopranos" tough guy Tony Sirico, who even gets to say "Bada bing!" while really lame sound effects complete the scene,) the yacht club types vs. the Jersey Shore types, the police department tie-in, the new construction nonsense all help bring the movie to a crawl when the director could be spending a lot more time on the red-eyed albino sharks marauding off New Jersey on July fourth. (Of course that would increase the effects budget which is evidently paltry to start with.) Pacing really is the Achilles heel here, as when the guys are involved with the sharks it's modestly amusing low-budget B-movie mayhem.
At any rate, the film is nothing if not predictable, and people who enjoy the ludicrousness of the SyFy original movies will likely enjoy this one. It's terribly made, although the cast does a generally good job with their very over-the-top roles, and there are some amusing cameos (here I must reemphasize the point that the Joey Fatone appearance is the best part of the film.) The film has everything you'd expect from this genre: terrible dialogue, senseless plotpoints, no sense of style, gratuitous use of fireworks, wretched music and associated dancing, and hilariously bad effects. If you are searching for these qualities in a movie let me recommend "Jersey Shore Shark Attack." If you are not seeking these attributes in a motion picture, I would definitely abstain.
Spoofs include hunting sharks with Roman candles and M-80s. Typical shark movie criticisms include deep water sharks in shallow water and people seen standing in water in one scene are shown treading water from underneath. Cameo appearance by Joey Fatone, who I discovered is his real name and not a gag name (Fat one) although one can't help but think that in this film.
Enjoyable Snooki spoof. I don't watch "Jersey Shore" and don't know of anyone who admits to it, but everyone knows Snooki. I am sure "Jersey Shore" fans will have more to howl about in this film.
PARENTAL GUIDE: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Implied sex with couple in bed on morning after. Lame wet t-shirt contest with contestants wearing bikini tops under shirts...I mean where's the point? 4 stars for those who like bad campy films.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Sharks, very bad acting, and bad story.
I saw this movie on the t.v.Read more