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Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex- A Hands-on, Practical Guide to Communicating with a Difficult Ex-Spouse Paperback – August 2, 2011
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"Great counsel for happily-ever-after a divorce." ―Kirkus Reviews
From the Back Cover
It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After a divorce, however, when that respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity.
Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques to help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife. By outlining common problems and teaching tools to examine your own role in these sticky situations, this book conveys strategies for effective mediation that are easy to apply, sensible, timely and innovative.
This revised edition of a bestselling classic sheds light on how today's digital forms of communication can both hurt and help in custody conflicts, and it offers updated information throughout that brings age-old issues into the present day.
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Long accepted research indicates that about 10% of the adult population has a narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, or both. I have empathy for these people, they did not ask to have a personality disorder, and they suffer from it. You can probably reflect on what you know about your ex-spouse's childhood and their current family relationships to recognize the possible causes for their disorder and validate that they have one.
Since it is inherent with both disorders there is a lack of self-insight to recognize that there is something wrong with them, they never see a need to seek treatment - so they never great "better". With both disorders, they have an underlying core belief of personal inadequacy and anticipated abandonment - which scares them deeply and drives their insidious behavior with the children.
Also unfortunate is that in a divorce situation, their personality disorder prevents them from any ability to recognize the that their child's own mental health will be severely damaged if the other parent is prevented from having a normal parenting role in their life - or worse, the child is manipulated to fear and hate the other parent. The narcissistic/borderline parent is driven by their own core fear and will do ANYTHING to prevent the child from having ANY relationship with the other parent, including lying to the child, lying to courts, and manipulating the child to hate the other parent. The common term for this is parental alienation. Search "parental alienation" on Amazon and you will see 250+ books. Many books focus on describing what parental alienation is and how that parent does it. I recommend 2 books that include the critical guidance on steps you can take to reduce / prevent parental alienation, they are by authors Amy J. L. Baker, PhD and Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD. and Joan Kloth-Zanard. Act quickly by getting educated and stopping the alienation before it gets to deeply ingrained in their highly susceptible brains. Your children need you to act right now to buy and read those books and/or research parental alienation online and on YouTube. You are likely exhausted by the challenges of divorce and money is tighter than ever, but the EFFORT and financial investments you make now (in a lawyer who specializes in parental alienation - they are rare, test them on their experience and knowledge), will save you huge money and heartache (for you and your kids) in the long run. Good luck.
There is little to no legal advice in here, but it doesn't have skills to counteract the challenging people in our lives.
Most recent customer reviews
The part I don't care for is I paid $12 for that book but it came with a sticker for $5.Read more