Journey to the Center of the Earth
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1) When you assemble a military group to participate in a mission involving teleportation, make sure they're all good looking women in tight tank tops. (Well, tank tops are part of the military wardrobe, aren't they?)
2) When the sound department screws up on the audio to where the background noise muffles the dialogue (in this case, during the "burrowing deep into the earth" scenes), you're probably not missing much when it's Greg Evigan and Dedee Pfeiffer doing the talking.
3) The center of the earth doesn't have much in the way of magma, but rather a seemingly similar environment to, say, a national park in the U.S. Only with dinosaurs, weird plants and giant spiders. Otherwise, an ideal vacation spot.
4) When your soldiers are mistakenly teleported to the center of the earth instead of Germany, always be prepared and have already in your possession machinery capable of going through 600 kilometers worth of crust, magma and the occassional void. Even when this problem was never conceived.
5) When films like this claim to be "based" on, in this case, the Jules Verne classic novel of the same name, they always conveniently leave out the word "loosely" in front of it.
And lastly, a horribly asinine and inept movie can always be forgiven if also providing a compensating amount of unintentional belly laughs. 5/10
The film moves back and forth between a surface plot and subsurface subplot. There is faux personal drama created in both of them to keep us dis-interested in the whole film. I missed the pterodactyls on the cover.
Note to self: Never split up when ominous music is playing.
This is in no way connected to anything Jules Verne ever wrote, considered writing, or would have written if he was alive today.
Guide: Sci-Fi monster violence. Blood. Spiders. (My sister fears spiders, she appreciates it.) No f-bombs, sex, or nudity.
$2.99 Mountain View Movies.
Anyway, in this case, Greg Evigan is an Army officer in command of a team of women who have volunteered to be teleported to Germany as a trial run. Unfortunately they wind up 600 kilometers below the earth’s surface, so Evigan enlists the aid of his ex-wife, Dedee Pfeiffer, who is a scientist who has developed a giant laser drill powerful enough to burrow through the earth to reach the team, the leader of which happens to be her sister.
The team, meanwhile, must navigate this strange new terrain that looks a whole lot like a grassy valley surrounded by mountains and try to survive attacks by dinosaurs and giant spiders.
After a series of close calls on the way down, the drill penetrates the “sky” of the underground world and they rescue their team--all except one, the blonde one, which seems appropriate since everyone else is brunette except Pfeiffer, and there’s only room for one blonde in this movie at a time, so somebody got to die.
Greg Evigan has brought with him a homing beacon which can link back to the teleporter and before you know it, zap, they’re back at base.
I’ve been putting off watching this one for a few days, knowing it was coming, but not wanting to dive in too quickly. I’m familiar enough with the original Jules Verne classic that I wasn’t intrigued enough by the story to wonder what it was about and need to see it in order to satisfy that curiosity.Read more ›
Second, the Center of the Earth has plenty of blue sky. That is easy to tell because about every two minutes the director makes sure to cut in a shot straight up into the trees. Evidently this "builds tension".
Another favorite camera technique is quick cuts in and out of close up, and then circling the actor/actress in even more jerky quick cuts. Evidently this "builds tension". It also threatened to give me a headache. Yes, I cut out on this loser FAR, FAR before the end.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I think that in another 50 years this move might be watchable. I can see it becoming something in the same vein as "Plan 9 from Outer Space. Read morePublished on July 26, 2012 by David R. Courtney
I had a good experience with this purchase , It came in a timely manner and the quality was good .Thanks again BillPublished on September 10, 2011 by Scattman
This movie is split between the people stranded at the center of the earth and the people coming to rescue them. Neither story is compelling. Read morePublished on July 8, 2010 by JohnGaunt
I see that one of the reviewers rated this as "a good movie (period)." I am convinced that that reviewer was an actor or producer or someone else involved with the film. Read morePublished on April 18, 2010 by S. Standley
600 km isn't the center of the earth. Also, as far as soldiering goes, the ladies in sexy tanks tops was absolutely unbelievable and by that I mean the Salvation Army could do... Read morePublished on March 11, 2009 by Blood Bath
One might be excused for thinking that this version of JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH shared an ancestry with Jules Verne. Read morePublished on February 7, 2009 by Martin Asiner
Asylum pictures make Uwe Bowles and Steven Segal movies watchable. This is another in a long line of no budget attempts to cash in on main stream movies.Published on January 25, 2009 by Dach Nednil