About Juliet Montague

The first daughter of a French Canadian/English mother and a post World War II Marine Corps soldier, Juliet Montague was born in San Bernardino, California, in 1948. Juliet lived, loved, and laughed while raising three children and four husbands. She worked as an official court stenographer for over twenty years; then made her way seventy-five miles west to Hollywood in 2003, where she and her youngest child began reinventing themselves.
Today Ms. Montague enjoys multi-tasking as a writer, actor, and comedian.

Parts One and Two of "The Muslim Romance Trilogy"-- THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT; Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement? and JIHAD HONEYMOON IN HOLLYWOOD; Not Without My Dogs-- are available NOW, but not for long! If you possess the first two EDITIONS in the trilogy, you have in your possession collector's items!

All three current volumes of THE MUSLIM ROMANCE TRILOGY can be found on Amazon.com by searching for "THE MUSLIM ROMANCE TRILOGY."

April 27th, 2016 Update: The self-publisher Abbott Press under the corporate umbrella of Author Solutions has now refused to publish Part Three of The Muslim Romance Trilogy, THE ARAB SPRUNG/While A Muslim Sleeps in the White House. When Ms. Montague refused to yield to their demands to correct/delete/and erase certain materials from Part Three, Abbott Press went back into Part One and Part Two, which it published without, apparently, ever reading them, and threatened to remove the novels from any and all publication/sales sites. Ms. Montague has refused to yield to the threats of Abbott Press. She will not be censored. Abbott Press will also be taking down her website, www.julietmontagueauthor.com. As a verified purchaser and reader of Juliet's books, you can write to Abbott Press with your disgust for their actions at customersupport@abbottpress.com; E.gliessman@abbottpress.com; ccolon@abbottpress.com. I appreciate any protests!

An old dog of sixty-eight, Juliet will learn new tricks and become a writing machine on Amazon's CreateSpace very soon. There she will republish Parts One and Two and caste upon the world Part Three!

September 15, 2016 Update: Part Three of The Muslim Romance Trilogy, THE ARAB SPRUNG/ While a Muslim Sleeps in the White House has been published on CreateSpace. Thank you Steve@bookow for preparing my cover and manuscript! Part Three should be available within the next few days on Amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle.

Currently, I am preparing the manuscripts of Parts One and Two for Steve@bookow to prepare the proper formatting to re-publish both books.

March 28, 2017 Update: All three volumes of The Muslim Romance Trilogy are now available in paperback and Kindle! Now to begin writing another satirical saga in the Juliet Montague Book Collection. Happy 69th Birthday to me!

You can write to Juliet at montaguemuslimromance@yahoo.com or immediately visit her new blog. montaguemuslimromance.blogspot.com

Watch her as "Stella," the alcoholic movie star has been @ www.youtube.com/whatsmyintention

www.facebook.com/MuslimRomance and become a fan of THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT

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The Arab Sprung: While a Muslim Sleeps in the White House (The Muslim Romance Trilogy Book 3) Sep 24, 2016

by Juliet Montague

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In Part Three of the MUSLIM ROMANCE TRILOGY, while the Middle East catches fire, there are neither chase scenes nor special effects and no one gives birth, gets married, or wins an Oscar. However, there is political exile, rain, drought, and shameful antics for you to shake your judgmental fist at.
Reeling from the loss of a sexually charged unrequited love, at sixty-two years Julie begins her search for the perfect foot to fit her throbbing glass slipper. In her thwarted attempts to replace the Islamic wannabe terrorist Ali, she takes on an Israeli roofing contractor, an Armenian carwash czar, a Persian Jew real estate entrepreneur, an Hispanic house painter, an alcoholic surf bum, a bad kisser with scoliosis, a handsome jet pilot with an aversion to any and all lip-to-lip contact, and her dream date version of Superman. The average age of her conquests a nice and tidy forty years.

Her espionage career brought to a halt; the drinking, the smoking, the destructive self-indulgences, and the sexual misadventures do not stop until the very last chapter. You’ll scream at her, but you’ll want to be her for at least one miserable day, until the longest love letter ever written comes to its final end.

Julie experienced the misery of Islamic love and lived to write about it, so you wouldn’t have to.

Other Formats: Paperback

Jihad Honeymoon in Hollywood: Not Without My Dogs (The Muslim Romance Trilogy Book 2) Mar 27, 2017

by Juliet Montague

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Our heroine, actress/comedian/realtor Julie, in Part One of the Muslim Romance Trilogy—The Year I Learned to Text; Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement?—returns and is now sixty-two. Her "Marriage Islam-Style" husband Ali is forty, the age he professes to be when all bad Muslim boys must settle down. Julie's chemical addiction to the black-eyed, always-tardy Persian prince remains insatiable, as her two loyal dogs and an opinionated cat watch it all go down. When the honeymooners' salacious pillow talk turns to Taliban training camps, dropping walls on homosexuals, and killing Republican presidents, conservative Julie must choose between love of country and the greatest physical and spiritual connection she's ever known.

Other Formats: Paperback

The Year I Learned to Text: Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement? (The Muslim Romance Trilogy Book 1) Jan 22, 2017

by Juliet Montague

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The Year I Learned to Text

Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement?

Whoever said that politics and religion don’t mix forgot to throw
hot sex into the equation.
When Julie, a celibate post-menopausal conservative, reinventing herself in Hollywood as an actor/comedian/realtor, takes on a handsome Persian Muslim twenty-two years her junior as her boy toy, she eagerly
takes flight on a magic carpet ride into the addictive chemistry of unconditional love, which eventually consumes her.
Between auditioning, working on television sitcoms and movies, driving lookie-loos about the city, caring for her two dogs and one persnickety cat, performing her stand-up routine, and making vain attempts at keeping her familial relationships from collapsing, Julie, a retired court reporter and empty-nester mother of three, slips into her busy life erotic meetings in her basement with Ali, who claims to be an Internet marketing entrepreneur.
In the light of scented candles, Julie comes of age and is awakened sexually by the black-eyed bad boy, who does not want to touch her in certain places, and who ritualistically washes his penis in her bathroom sink immediately after contact. Too soon he becomes her life, a life she senses has come and gone too soon. Late in life, she has learned patience: Ali is always two hours late to their trysts. He is on Persian time.
The Hollywood Bungalow Mews, in which Julie lives, is a recurring character; each resident having his and her opinion of the goings on at Julie’s Spanish six hundred and forty foot brothel. However, no one has ever witnessed Ali’s comings and goings, which leads Julie to wonder if, in deed, she hasn’t simply invented him, in light of the ongoing political climate and The War on Terror.
When he invites her to join him to live in a cave in Afghanistan, she begins to believe his anti-American pillow talk. An American citizen born in Iran and an honor graduate from UCLA, Ali bemuses our heroine with the contradictions of his Islamic religion, his hypochondria¬¬¬, and the exact whereabouts of his apartment.
Julie feeds her bewilderment with hours spent Googling everything Middle Eastern, always a Cuba Libra and cigarette to steady her. Quickly she learns more about Islam than she ever wanted to know. Her new knowledge of Female Genital Mutilation has her legs crossed in a clenched position.
Ali’s hatred toward anything American begins to frighten Julie, who dreams of contacting the FBI or the CIA in an attempt to save him from himself, Natasha Fatale and friends close at hand.
Her immediate family—a successful model and television actress daughter, a successful know-it-all divorced sister, and an obnoxious, Pollyanna mother on the edge of dementia—each have their own advice to stir up the cauldron of Julie’s frustrations.
In an effort to loosen from his grasp, Julie buys a second home to renovate, a foreclosed vintage cabin in the mountains, to which she runs in her feeble attempts to find herself in between mini-breakups from the Muslim sociopath, who continually bounces back into her Hollywood bungalow basement.
Julie at last frees herself, and after one year of soul-searching and never-before experienced depression, she finds him once again on her doorstep asking for her hand in Marriage Islam Style, the threat of three more wives looming on the sand-swept horizon.
Can Julie walk away?

Other Formats: Hardcover , Paperback

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