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Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking through Suffering Together Paperback – October 1, 2015
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About the Author
Jill Lynn Buteyn is the author of Falling for Texas, an inspirational novel, and a recipient of the ACFW Genesis Award for her fiction work. She has a bachelor’s degree in communications from Bethel University. Jill lives near the beautiful Rocky Mountains with her husband and two children. Connect with her on social media and at Jill-Lynn.com.
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Top Customer Reviews
Just show up.
The late Kara Tippets, author of The Hardest Peace, and her friend Jill Lynn Buteyn candidly share their experience in the book of the same name, Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking through Suffering Together.
“The beauty in showing up, in choosing to enter the dance even though you might not know the steps, is that God creates something beautiful from our attempts.”
That is where we must begin. With God.
“It’s okay to not know how to show up for someone or how to take the first steps into walking through suffering with a friend. Ask for guidance. He will meet you there. You can tell Him how you feel and what your fears are, and He will open the path for you to take a first step.”
Just like being called to a mission field, I believe sharing in a friend’s suffering is a special calling God gives us. When God places us in their lives with all our tears, why-God prayers and the simply hard He has a purpose. It may just be to fill a need we are gifted to do but usually He has a grander heart purpose that is different for each one involved in the dance.
“If you’ve never really walked with someone through suffering, and if your view of God up to this point has resembled a math equation (prayer + God=healing), then I’m sorry to have to tell you, but you’re going to have to sacrifice pieces of that way of believing…If you can stay soft and open during that time, you can realize a bigger faith than you’ve had up to that point.”
Jill states how suffering can steal friendship moments from us and how we crave the times together we used to have. Oh, how I know that to be true! How I long for a trip to Moe’s to eat Mexican with my friend Denise who is battling liver cancer and then after shopping to eat Dunkin’ Donuts on the way home. But those moments aren’t able to happen for now. Chemo and liver cancer brings nausea and loss of appetite. So now on a good day I bring Panera broccoli cheese soup or a bakery treat in the hopes she will be able to taste and enjoy them.
The book also lists many specific things one can do to help a family going through an illness:
-Taking care of the kids
-Sorting medical bills
Not everyone has family close by that are able to do this nor should it always be family taking care of these things. This is where the beautiful can happen. God raises up a community to come alongside the family. Some cook meals, organize fundraisers and others take care of the kids. What could your place be in a community like this?
I love that the subject of insecurity is addressed in this book. Many times it is a group of women who are ministering in the midst of family’s suffering. There may be times we look to another and measure ourselves by what they are doing that we are not.
“We were speaking about Kara’s gift in growing community when Mickey mentioned that most of us have never seen good friendships done will. Especially between women. So often there’s jealousy and cattiness. We aren’t showing and teaching young girls how to do community together. Because of this, more women grow up not knowing how to enter safely in with one another.”
Take any insecurities you have to the Lord. Our loved one needs us even when the enemy plants those thoughts in our minds that they don’t.
I wept through this book. Many times inserting my and Denise’s name. This is a beautifully written book of friendship, community and the legacy of Kara Tippets.
No more excuses. Just show up.
Everyone goes through suffering of some kind at some point. It’s part of life. There are many types of suffering, but we all have some share in it.
This book by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn was such a timely read for me. I had heard about Kara here and there but really came in contact with her story around this time last year. Just about the time I received my own scary diagnosis and discovered that I was entering my own hard. Over this past year, I’ve been through a lot. And when I began to hear about this new book, I knew it was one I had to read.. sooner rather than later.
“Living our stories together,” as the back of the book says. That’s what this is all about. Although this book tells the story of Kara’s cancer, that’s not the focus. The focus is Jesus… and praising Him through our everyday lives by showing up for each other. By loving each other.
Showing up can take on many forms… bringing meals, sending cards and texts, phone calls, flowers, listening, organizing paperwork or calling bill people, transportation to and from treatments.. the list is endless. Sometimes showing up means just simply being available. Just being silently present.
As I read this story of community, God constantly brought to my mind different people who have shown up in one way or another for me over this past year. I prayed for these much-loved people as I thought of each one who has been a blessing in my life. I so related to the beauty that is this book.. the beauty of the community of dear friends that these ladies have written about.
I should warn you.. it’s not an easy, light-hearted read. There is much discussion difficult situations. But it’s beautiful just the same because of their honesty and transparency and even smiles in the hard. It’s beautiful because I could relate, and I’m pretty sure that if we’re honest, we all can relate to an extent. And anyone who can’t.. well, then you need to read this book so you CAN relate. Because being available and just showing up for people who are hurting is something we all need to be able to do.
This book gives insights and ideas if you don’t know how to show up for someone, and it describes how to be kind and sensitive and respectful with words.. while at the same time stressing that there just no perfect words and nothing you say is going to fix it. And.. when we let God lead us, He will surely use us in the lives of others, using our specific gifts and strengths to be just exactly what they need.
It reiterates that suffering doesn’t mean that God isn’t good. We have to learn and choose to believe that He is still always good. Even when the world says otherwise.
Please read this book. No matter who you are. Whether you’re suffering or know someone who is, or if suffering and hard times are the furthest thing from your mind. Trust me, you need to read this book.
I’ve been considering what food I would liken this book to… I can’t go with one specific food on this one though. Rather, I have to say that this book is like a meal brought over by a friend. Made or purchased with love, whatever best fits the personality and life of the friend doing the giving. It just fits. You should read the book, and then you’ll know why.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
comes I can be as strong and faithful as these women.Read more