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LOLcat Bible: In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez an da Erfs n stuffs Paperback – January 29, 2021

4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 224 ratings

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Discover the OG internet meme-turned-religious cult with the bestselling bible brought down by Ceiling Cat.

Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger.
and furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it.
and we furgiv wen cats steel our cookiez.

From the biblical languages of Greek and Hebrew to Latin and the King’s English, the Bible has been translated into over 2000 languages.

ADD ONE MORE.

For the first time ever, LOLCat Bible brings the good news to your feline friends in their native LOLSpeak. The perfect gift for cuddly kittehs everywhere, this book retells the greatest stories ever told like never before, including:

• Noah’s Reely Big Bowt
• Moses an teh Scari Burnin Bush
• Teh Ten Bad Plagues
• David an Goliath teh Giunt
• Daniel an teh Pooch’s Den
• David an Goliath teh Giunt
• Jonah an teh Big Fishie
• Wawter into Booze
• Happy Cat Walks on Wawter
• Teh Last Cheezburger Feest
• Happy Cat Rises from teh Deds
and many, many more...

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin." ― from the book

About the Author

Martin Grondin lives in Lowell, MA.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ulysses Press (January 29, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 128 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1569757348
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1569757345
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.06 x 0.31 x 7.81 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 224 ratings

About the author

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Martin Grondin
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Martin Grondin was born in 1984 in Milford, CT and grew up in Milford and Bridgeport, CT. He is an internet connoisseur and loves online culture and memes. He started his successful website, lolcatbible.com, in July of 2007, which was featured on Digg, Reddit, College Humor, and many other websites. He currently lives in Dracut, MA with his partner and cat, Worf.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
224 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book funny, lighthearted, and cute. They describe it as a small handful of Bible stories. However, some readers report that the content is limited and the language is vulgar and offensive. Opinions are mixed on readability, with some finding it good for those who know the Bible, while others say it's tedious.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

44 customers mention "Humor"40 positive4 negative

Customers find the book funny, comical, and lighthearted. They appreciate the author's take on the Bible stories. Readers also say it's delightful and can be enjoyed by anyone.

"...This book is a very good parody indeed, and as other reviewers have said, if you happen to know the Bible, it becomes even more funny...." Read more

"...getting used to for middle aged types like me, but it's fantastic and funny and even my atheist friends enjoy it. (I'm a Christian pastor, btw.)" Read more

"...The selections from the Bible, rewritten in LOL cat, are entirely comical...." Read more

"...I am a devout Christian and couldn't help like how this writer makes religion fun...." Read more

26 customers mention "Cute book"26 positive0 negative

Customers find the book cute, cool, and endearing. They also appreciate the photos and writing. Readers say the brilliant work will delight devoted fans of the website.

"...takes a little getting used to for middle aged types like me, but it's fantastic and funny and even my atheist friends enjoy it...." Read more

"This book is oozing with cute and perfect for a group reading, with the disclaimer that there may be peeing of pants from laughter...." Read more

"...This one is cool, but it's got a very limited number of the most popular passages. Not much help when you're reading Nehemiah." Read more

"...The "interpretations" are really pretty well done...... I pre-ordered (3) copies, and waited expectantly for the published version........." Read more

4 customers mention "Story quality"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the stories in the book pretty good and funny.

"...And yet, it also really does tell the Bible stories...." Read more

"...so eh might include more about that stuff but for now, the stories are fine and funny...." Read more

"...its alot shorter than i thought that it would be but the stories are pretty good obviously it is a less intense version of the bible..there is one..." Read more

"...Great stories, fun for the whole family!" Read more

10 customers mention "Readability"3 positive7 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the readability of the book. Some mention it's a good read for one who knows the Bible, while others say it's tedious and boring.

"...no continuity in the LOLspeak from page to page, which makes for tedious reading. Some parts are snort out loud funny, but the bulk of it is boring...." Read more

"...My only issue with it is that it is some time difficult to read. Most of it you can figure out by remembering to read it exactly as it is written...." Read more

"This book is oozing with cute and perfect for a group reading, with the disclaimer that there may be peeing of pants from laughter...." Read more

"...This book involves much more reading (and translating, since, of course, things are spelled phonetically, and in "cat" jargon.)..." Read more

4 customers mention "Book content"0 positive4 negative

Customers find the book's content limited. They mention it's only a few selected books from the Bible, with a very small handful of stories.

"...This one is cool, but it's got a very limited number of the most popular passages. Not much help when you're reading Nehemiah." Read more

"...It's not the entire bible it's only a few selected books in the Bible and it's limited on the chapters as you could see (very thin book)...." Read more

"...a LOL Cat bible, it's merely a LOL Cat version of a very very small handful of bible stories which seem to have been chosen by virtue of their..." Read more

"not the complete bible, had to read whole thing on the creators web site, not worth the price of purchace" Read more

4 customers mention "Language"0 positive4 negative

Customers find the language in the book vulgar, crude, and offensive. They also say it's wordy.

"...Secondly, there IS a sad overabundance of crude vernacular within the content that adds nothing to the work... As a minister, I work at street-level..." Read more

"I love looking at the LOL cats stuff on the web, but this was very "wordy" with not nearly as many photos of cats as I expected...." Read more

"...If I had known that, I would not have purchased it. It also had slang in it that I did not appreciate being in a holy book." Read more

"The vulgar language used in this book is extremely offensive and parents should know what they are buying. Not for children!!" Read more

I love a good parody
5 out of 5 stars
I love a good parody
I confess, I love a good parody. A year or so after having read "Lord of the Rings", I read a Harvard Lampoon parody entitled "Bored of the Rings." It was hysterical, more so because I knew the original so well.This book is a very good parody indeed, and as other reviewers have said, if you happen to know the Bible, it becomes even more funny. I have a masters in Christian theology, and I have six cats, so I find this hysterical on at least two levels.I must confess that I really dislike "cat-speak", and I never, never use it, outside of an accidental pun, which I cannot avoid. But here, the cat language mangling of good English works. On an additional level, there is the realization of biblical characters and actions to make them relevant to cats. The LORD, for example, is Ceiling Cat, and Jesus is Happy Cat.Amazingly, even at the most serious moment, Jesus death in Mark, the scene is handled with a rare combination of humor and respect, since Jesus last line is first given in perfect KJV English, followed by a translation of that sentence into lolspeek.I'm really disappointed that the book stops early in Acts, with Paul's revelation on the road to Damascus. I would love to see what the author, Martin Grondin, would do with the book of Revelation. Apparently, this translation was assisted by a large number of collaborators who gave the author suggestions on a web page begun in 2007. One can hope for a sequel.To be fair, those of you who are very protective of your scripture, especially if you are not kept by one or more cats, may find this distasteful. And, if you happen to be of the atheist clan, since I suspect you may suffer from a deficiency of humor to begin with, will not find this terribly funny. Because, God IS funny, ya know.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2014
I confess, I love a good parody. A year or so after having read "Lord of the Rings", I read a Harvard Lampoon parody entitled "Bored of the Rings." It was hysterical, more so because I knew the original so well.

This book is a very good parody indeed, and as other reviewers have said, if you happen to know the Bible, it becomes even more funny. I have a masters in Christian theology, and I have six cats, so I find this hysterical on at least two levels.

I must confess that I really dislike "cat-speak", and I never, never use it, outside of an accidental pun, which I cannot avoid. But here, the cat language mangling of good English works. On an additional level, there is the realization of biblical characters and actions to make them relevant to cats. The LORD, for example, is Ceiling Cat, and Jesus is Happy Cat.

Amazingly, even at the most serious moment, Jesus death in Mark, the scene is handled with a rare combination of humor and respect, since Jesus last line is first given in perfect KJV English, followed by a translation of that sentence into lolspeek.

I'm really disappointed that the book stops early in Acts, with Paul's revelation on the road to Damascus. I would love to see what the author, Martin Grondin, would do with the book of Revelation. Apparently, this translation was assisted by a large number of collaborators who gave the author suggestions on a web page begun in 2007. One can hope for a sequel.

To be fair, those of you who are very protective of your scripture, especially if you are not kept by one or more cats, may find this distasteful. And, if you happen to be of the atheist clan, since I suspect you may suffer from a deficiency of humor to begin with, will not find this terribly funny. Because, God IS funny, ya know.
Customer image
5.0 out of 5 stars I love a good parody
Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2014
I confess, I love a good parody. A year or so after having read "Lord of the Rings", I read a Harvard Lampoon parody entitled "Bored of the Rings." It was hysterical, more so because I knew the original so well.

This book is a very good parody indeed, and as other reviewers have said, if you happen to know the Bible, it becomes even more funny. I have a masters in Christian theology, and I have six cats, so I find this hysterical on at least two levels.

I must confess that I really dislike "cat-speak", and I never, never use it, outside of an accidental pun, which I cannot avoid. But here, the cat language mangling of good English works. On an additional level, there is the realization of biblical characters and actions to make them relevant to cats. The LORD, for example, is Ceiling Cat, and Jesus is Happy Cat.

Amazingly, even at the most serious moment, Jesus death in Mark, the scene is handled with a rare combination of humor and respect, since Jesus last line is first given in perfect KJV English, followed by a translation of that sentence into lolspeek.

I'm really disappointed that the book stops early in Acts, with Paul's revelation on the road to Damascus. I would love to see what the author, Martin Grondin, would do with the book of Revelation. Apparently, this translation was assisted by a large number of collaborators who gave the author suggestions on a web page begun in 2007. One can hope for a sequel.

To be fair, those of you who are very protective of your scripture, especially if you are not kept by one or more cats, may find this distasteful. And, if you happen to be of the atheist clan, since I suspect you may suffer from a deficiency of humor to begin with, will not find this terribly funny. Because, God IS funny, ya know.
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7 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2019
This is the second copy of this book I have bought. It is extremely funny (especially read aloud). And yet, it also really does tell the Bible stories. The language takes a little getting used to for middle aged types like me, but it's fantastic and funny and even my atheist friends enjoy it. (I'm a Christian pastor, btw.)
8 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2014
This book is oozing with cute and perfect for a group reading, with the disclaimer that there may be peeing of pants from laughter. The selections from the Bible, rewritten in LOL cat, are entirely comical. Even devout christians have to appreciate the fun take on the Bible stories they know so well. The included meme-style pictures remind you just how much these sweet little kitties have won our hearts. This may be my new go-to gift for my religious friends.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2013
I have to admit I only read a few stories, the Genesis account and the equivalent of the Jesus, passages. I couldn't stop laughing. Part of the reason is because like one reviewer I am a devout Christian and couldn't help like how this writer makes religion fun. The Bible is a serious book but I find no reason to have a little fun with it. God did make laughter after all. I also, and I could be wrong, but find nothing wrong with it in terms of theology at least. It tells stories, makes them funny, and let people enjoy. It stays away from the strong theology parts of the Bible such as John 14, which I have no problems with. It still is a work in progress so eh might include more about that stuff but for now, the stories are fine and funny.

I also enjoyed how they even did the song, "Amazing Grace" and one other in lol cats form.

For those who are not religious or have not experience with the Bible one may not get some of the humor, or have as much fun. I could be wrong in my assumption, forgive me if I am. I would still recommend people read it, if not for a good dose of lol cate.
8 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on December 8, 2019
I really wish someone would publish the entire Bible in book format. This one is cool, but it's got a very limited number of the most popular passages. Not much help when you're reading Nehemiah.
Reviewed in the United States on January 12, 2012
Being devoutly Christian, I was a little apprehensive when I first saw this. I'm a nerd at heart, so sure I wanted to see this, but how was it handled? Is it a thinly veiled sarcastic retelling of Biblical stories? Is it just a silly "no offense intended" meme-based joke? Turns out, neither. If LOLcat was a legit language, this would be (at least partially) the legit Bible. It's missing a lot (for example, the story of Joseph cuts off after his brothers sell him into slavery), but the author's note in the back says the project is still well under way. But as far as handling the actual topic, if you're a nerd and a believer (or at least a believer who knows how to smile), I think you'll enjoy this. It's not for those who think God has no sense of humor, but for those who can sit back and appreciate the off-beat humor in life, you'll find a (more or less) accurate translation of the Bible into internet lingo. There a few points where people miss the mark, so I wouldn't use this as your only translation of choice, but it definitely makes the Bible a more exciting read-through and may even cause you to consider some new things. I know I'm gonna be using the LOLcat Bible to illustrate some points in my own messages in the future.
40 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 5, 2012
So don't be stuffy about it just because it's based off of Bible passages, ok? Honestly, I'm a Christian and I read the whole thing cover to cover and I didn't find anything offensive. It's just the LOLcat translation, haha! I gave it to my sister as a gift and she couldn't stop laughing the whole time she read it. Some folks might say this is making light of the Bible and using it for jokes and to that I say..Ceiling Cat maded hyewmur too, right? I remember when I was little I would watch these cartoons about things that happened in the Bible. Were those depictions 100% accurate? Heck no..who would let a 6-year-old watch Jesus get crucified with all the gory details?? And I doubt anyone was animated in those days either. But those cartoons were just a different way of telling the same story. I think that's all this book is trying to do.
6 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
j syer
3.0 out of 5 stars It is written in "cat english"
Reviewed in Canada on July 13, 2023
Very difficult to read intil you have tried for a few pages.
John M
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 24, 2023
Jenny K.
5.0 out of 5 stars Ohai!
Reviewed in Germany on February 16, 2013
Ohai! Ai am a huge fan of teh locatz! So ai niided dis! Nao ai can worship ceiling cat propurrly.
Teh buk contains biblical stories written in LOLspeak, de native language of our bilovd petz. Adishunally, der r colorfull (!!!11!1) picshurs ov de lolcatz dat occur in teh stories. De stories and picshurs r very funneh. Dats all ai can sai. kthxbai!

Ohai! Als großer Fan der lolcats braucht man dieses Meisterwerk. Es enthält die berühmtesten biblische Texte in lolspeak, der Muttersprache unserer Lieblingshaustiere, sowie Farbbilder von Katzen, die zu den jeweiligen Geschichten passen. Aber Achtung: Man sollte schon ein bisschen lolspeak können, sonst ist das ganze doch recht schwer verständlich. Im Zweifel hilft es aber oft, sich die kryptischen Wörter einfach mal laut vorzulesen. Kthxbai!
Melody
4.0 out of 5 stars Next day delivery
Reviewed in Canada on November 8, 2017
Fast delivery, funny book.
Raphael S.
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny one-time read!
Reviewed in Germany on August 27, 2012
The Lolcat-Bible is very funny and amusing to read.
But you will find yourself reading it once, putting it on your shelf, and never be taking it down again for you to read it one more time.

Still a very funny book.