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Showing 1-10 of 19 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 31 reviews
on August 5, 2012
"It doesn't matter what kind of traumatic experiences you had, it's all in your head, so shut up and shape up. Don't be a whiner, don't be so weak, roll your sleeves and pull yourself out of the swamp, pull yourself up by your bootstraps..."
Here: you got that, now you don't need the book.
While I agree that wallowing in the mire is waste of time, if it was so easy to pull yourself by the straps, people would never need help and therapy. The whole book is dedicated to denying the real pain and damage done by traumatic experiences, which may generate more guilt and sense of failure in the trauma survivors. The book does not provide particular techniques for recovery, just more of the same "don't whine, it was not that bad." While I agree that reevaluating your bad experience and not over - dramatizing it, can be helpful in moving on, I don't think anybody need a whole book repeating one idea, "com'on, whiner, stop bitching and complaining." In my opinion, such approach does not encourage healing, just add to the guild and sense of inadequacy in a depressed person.
You can buy this book, if you need somebody to bully you, but then again, you can have the same experience for free - just call some cold hearted, highly critical blamer you know and have him / her slice you in little pieces.
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on November 14, 2007
If I had to hear that old saw, "doing the best (s)he could" one more time, I was going to scream. Was Hitler doing the best he could? I hardly think so. Too many people seem to hide behind support groups, addictions, inner children running rampant, and myriad rationalizations why they can't or won't actually get down to it and just grow into mature, responsible, loving/lovable people. I found this book while sifting through my library for books to sell, and am delighted with it. To put it simply, it is a relief to read a book that is not a typical self-help book.

Dr. Paul Pearsall is "an internationally recognized neuropsychologist." He isn't Oprah, Dr. Phil, Carolyn Myss, he didn't write "The Secret" or any one of the number of mind-stunting books that flood the marketplace and populate the bookshelves of too many people. He has genuine credentials in his field and actually writes about productive actions for a new way of looking at yourself that don't involve psychobabble. He isn't touchy-feely, feelgood, co-dependency, addiction counseling, or bromide based. He's hilarious, challenging, and can back up what he says with common sense. He's the skeptics' guide to growth. For example, in chapter 2, he offers his alternative "facts of life": lose hope, give up, think sad thoughts, settle for second (or third or sixth) best, don't "work through" your grief, be a pessimist, don't try to discover your personal power, don't believe in yourself, men aren't from Mars women aren't from Venus, and most important to me personally, you're not a victim. He presents many more anti-bromides that came as a big relief to me. He reminds us that intuitiion can be wrong, a "prove it" mindset separates us from the herd, and becoming a contrarian makes a lot of sense. One of his better suggestions was to seek out someone who would never purchase the book you're looking at and ask them to review it. Sticking with those who are fanatics for an author, idea, or philosophy usually leads to handicapped thinking.

There are so many "what a relief" moments in this book - it's refreshing, mindful, (he discusses briefly the Buddhist Four Noble Truths to illustrate how to be a realist and what causes our suffering), and straight shooting. Not for the easily offended or those who use words like "resonate" outside of physics.
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on April 7, 2014
He makes valid points about the claims self help gurus make that have no scientific research to back them up. The writing is clear and concise. He takes well deserved shots at the claims that positive thinking fixes everything and all you need is hope. "Oh, you didn't get well? It's your fault..." The philosophies that espouse this type of thinking are his target. He cuts through many of the claims of other self help gurus. Enlightening and eye opening. I highly recommend to anyone who finds the claims of " think it and it will be" thinking to be the junk food of self help.
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on October 3, 2016
I love most of Paul's stuff, but I have to say I was little disappointed in this book. Its really more of a critique of other authors, and speakers. Probably fine if I'd know it was an editorial, but I was just expecting something else. Thanks anyway, Dave (in Colorado)
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on April 25, 2015
As an introvert, much of the self help literature has appealed to my rugged individualism. This book, by an experienced clinical psychologist, has reminded me that " no man is an island", and, that relationship and connection are much of what we live for. Pearsall's encounter with his own mortality has resulted in a mindful statement about living, savoring, and dying that we need to hear.
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on November 9, 2015
Not well written, (I am picky). I think its a good read,it is basically saying don't blame childhood, don't expect perfection, etc. Some good points in it.
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on December 19, 2009
Paul Pearsall has written a matter of fact book that takes into account all of the emotions, changes, life stages and errors that we may encounter along the way. So be it! Feel what you feel in the face of crisis or daily living. Know that you are OK the way that you are. Understand the generation of the 1960's-now who have been duped into to "self-actualization" at a major cost to family and society. A quick and sometimes humorous read. I have shared this book with friends who seem to be stuck, recovering from illness and/or express experiencing depression.
$[...] book includes shipping.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465054870/ref=cm_cr_rev_prod_title
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on November 30, 2014
Book was interesting and I did learn things. It fulfilled an assignment in a Master's class. The price was exceptional reasonable and the service was very quick. Thanks!
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on April 16, 2016
Dont differ from traditional self help. Those are good. But not the only way to do it right. Psychology os the same thing.
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on August 22, 2012
This self-help book has earned it's title in gold. The table of contents is excellent and powerful as to mention all other areas of information given to the reader. In my opinion, Paul Pearsall knows how to reach his readers and cause the reader to reach their full potential. "Thumbs up".
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