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The Last Self Help Book You'll Ever Need: Repress Your Anger, Think Negatively, Be a Good Blamer, & Throttle Your Inner Child Hardcover – May 10, 2005

by Paul Pearsall (Author)

31 customer reviews

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“You can't love someone until you learn to love yourself.” “Being healthy means being in touch with your feelings.” “Never lose hope." These are self-evident truths, right?Wrong charges best-selling psychologist Paul Pearsall in this provocative new book. Though everyone from talk show hosts to politicians mouths these platitudes, and self-help bibles are a dime a dozen, their advice simply hasn't helped us live happier or more satisfying lives. Pearsall cites scientific evidence to challenge what he calls the McMorals of self-potentialism: the unsubstantiated prescriptions, programs, guarantees, and gurus that define our pursuit of The Good Life.His message is timely: we're fed up with truisms masquerading as truth, and hungry for self-help that really helps. Filled with groundbreaking research and inspiring true stories from Dr. Pearsall's clinical practice, The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need offers a powerful antidote to the mindless mental languishing that characterizes so much of modern life.The solution is not just to “get tough and suck it up.” Instead, Pearsall offers powerful if counterintuitive strategies. By abandoning the mandate to “stay hopeful,” for example, we can begin to savor today rather than focus desperately on tomorrow. By allowing ourselves the natural process of grieving instead of relentlessly treating grief as a disease, we can recover from tragedy.With Pearsall's lively and informative roadmap to psychological health, we can say “goodbye” to our inner child and “hello” to a better life.

The Last Self Help Book You'll Ever Need: Repress Your Anger, Think Negatively, Be a Good Blamer, & Throttle Your Inner Child

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Kudos to Pearsall (The Pleasure Prescription) for arguing against the "platitudes of self-empowerment" that dominate the self-help bookshelves. Their relentlessly upbeat tone and unrealistic idea of happiness will only make you feel worse, he says. Using research studies to bolster his points, Pearsall takes on the "McMorals, tenets about life that go down easily but aren't good for our long-term well being," as well as popular practitioners, such as Dr. Phil. Pearsall, an adjunct clinical professor at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, wants readers to stop being so self-centered. It's more important, he says, to love others before oneself, and appropriate guilt and anxiety are essential to learning to live a better life. "Stop expressing yourself," he says. "Shut up and listen." And don't avoid blaming: "Finding the right person to blame is essential for mental health." He explains cogently why such statements make more sense than the usual self-help shibboleths. Sometimes, particularly in chapters that tackle diet and aging, Pearsall sounds preachy and falls into the self-help trap of making generalizations without backup. But this contrarian volume gives readers plenty to consider and offers a hopeful and helpful approach to being mindful and fully engaged in each moment—good or bad. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"[A] series of intelligent and often hilarious assaults on the premises and practices of what Pearsall calls the sex establishment or 'sex syndicate.' Pearsall's book is carefully researched and beefed up by his extensive clinical experience and credentials."

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Product details

Hardcover: 256 pages
Publisher: Basic Books; First Edition edition (May 10, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0465054862
ISBN-13: 978-0465054862
Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 0.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,317,672 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #33419 in Books > Self-Help > Personal Transformation
- #68839 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling
- #296270 in Books > History

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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars

5 star		55%
4 star		10%
3 star		19%
2 star		10%
1 star		6%

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Top Customer Reviews

Did not work for me

ByBonnie B.on August 5, 2012

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

"It doesn't matter what kind of traumatic experiences you had, it's all in your head, so shut up and shape up. Don't be a whiner, don't be so weak, roll your sleeves and pull yourself out of the swamp, pull yourself up by your bootstraps..."
Here: you got that, now you don't need the book.
While I agree that wallowing in the mire is waste of time, if it was so easy to pull yourself by the straps, people would never need help and therapy. The whole book is dedicated to denying the real pain and damage done by traumatic experiences, which may generate more guilt and sense of failure in the trauma survivors. The book does not provide particular techniques for recovery, just more of the same "don't whine, it was not that bad." While I agree that reevaluating your bad experience and not over - dramatizing it, can be helpful in moving on, I don't think anybody need a whole book repeating one idea, "com'on, whiner, stop bitching and complaining." In my opinion, such approach does not encourage healing, just add to the guild and sense of inadequacy in a depressed person.
You can buy this book, if you need somebody to bully you, but then again, you can have the same experience for free - just call some cold hearted, highly critical blamer you know and have him / her slice you in little pieces.

11 comment 10 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

will the real path to the good life stand up?

ByMs. Le Chaton November 14, 2007

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

If I had to hear that old saw, "doing the best (s)he could" one more time, I was going to scream. Was Hitler doing the best he could? I hardly think so. Too many people seem to hide behind support groups, addictions, inner children running rampant, and myriad rationalizations why they can't or won't actually get down to it and just grow into mature, responsible, loving/lovable people. I found this book while sifting through my library for books to sell, and am delighted with it. To put it simply, it is a relief to read a book that is not a typical self-help book.

Dr. Paul Pearsall is "an internationally recognized neuropsychologist." He isn't Oprah, Dr. Phil, Carolyn Myss, he didn't write "The Secret" or any one of the number of mind-stunting books that flood the marketplace and populate the bookshelves of too many people. He has genuine credentials in his field and actually writes about productive actions for a new way of looking at yourself that don't involve psychobabble. He isn't touchy-feely, feelgood, co-dependency, addiction counseling, or bromide based. He's hilarious, challenging, and can back up what he says with common sense. He's the skeptics' guide to growth. For example, in chapter 2, he offers his alternative "facts of life": lose hope, give up, think sad thoughts, settle for second (or third or sixth) best, don't "work through" your grief, be a pessimist, don't try to discover your personal power, don't believe in yourself, men aren't from Mars women aren't from Venus, and most important to me personally, you're not a victim. He presents many more anti-bromides that came as a big relief to me. He reminds us that intuitiion can be wrong, a "prove it" mindset separates us from the herd, and becoming a contrarian makes a lot of sense. One of his better suggestions was to seek out someone who would never purchase the book you're looking at and ask them to review it. Sticking with those who are fanatics for an author, idea, or philosophy usually leads to handicapped thinking.

There are so many "what a relief" moments in this book - it's refreshing, mindful, (he discusses briefly the Buddhist Four Noble Truths to illustrate how to be a realist and what causes our suffering), and straight shooting. Not for the easily offended or those who use words like "resonate" outside of physics.

11 comment 16 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Debunks the bogus claims of many self help gurus

ByBriochegalon April 7, 2014

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

He makes valid points about the claims self help gurus make that have no scientific research to back them up. The writing is clear and concise. He takes well deserved shots at the claims that positive thinking fixes everything and all you need is hope. "Oh, you didn't get well? It's your fault..." The philosophies that espouse this type of thinking are his target. He cuts through many of the claims of other self help gurus. Enlightening and eye opening. I highly recommend to anyone who finds the claims of " think it and it will be" thinking to be the junk food of self help.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Don't Bother!

ByAgape Musicon October 3, 2016

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I love most of Paul's stuff, but I have to say I was little disappointed in this book. Its really more of a critique of other authors, and speakers. Probably fine if I'd know it was an editorial, but I was just expecting something else. Thanks anyway, Dave (in Colorado)

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Iconoclastic challenge to be mindful

Bygarvice nicholsonon April 25, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

As an introvert, much of the self help literature has appealed to my rugged individualism. This book, by an experienced clinical psychologist, has reminded me that " no man is an island", and, that relationship and connection are much of what we live for. Pearsall's encounter with his own mortality has resulted in a mindful statement about living, savoring, and dying that we need to hear.

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I think its a good read, it is basically saying don't blame childhood

Bywvykon November 9, 2015

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Not well written, (I am picky). I think its a good read,it is basically saying don't blame childhood, don't expect perfection, etc. Some good points in it.

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Finally a "stop self helping book". Be yourself!

BySmart Suzieon December 19, 2009

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Paul Pearsall has written a matter of fact book that takes into account all of the emotions, changes, life stages and errors that we may encounter along the way. So be it! Feel what you feel in the face of crisis or daily living. Know that you are OK the way that you are. Understand the generation of the 1960's-now who have been duped into to "self-actualization" at a major cost to family and society. A quick and sometimes humorous read. I have shared this book with friends who seem to be stuck, recovering from illness and/or express experiencing depression.
$[...] book includes shipping.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465054870/ref=cm_cr_rev_prod_title

0Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNo

Book was interesting and I did learn things. It ...

Bymadelyn lengyelon November 30, 2014

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Book was interesting and I did learn things. It fulfilled an assignment in a Master's class. The price was exceptional reasonable and the service was very quick. Thanks!