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The Arbinger Institute

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Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box Kindle Edition

by The Arbinger Institute (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

4.5 2,402 ratings

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NEW EDITION, REVISED AND UPDATED

Since its original publication in 2000, Leadership and Self-Deception has become a word-of-mouth phenomenon. Its sales continue to increase year after year, and the book’s popularity has gone global, with editions now available in over twenty languages.

Through a story everyone can relate to about a man facing challenges on the job and in his family, the authors expose the fascinating ways that we can blind ourselves to our true motivations and unwittingly sabotage the effectiveness of our own efforts to achieve success and increase happiness.

This new edition has been revised throughout to make the story even more compelling. And drawing on the extensive correspondence the authors have received over the years, they have added a section that outlines the many ways that readers have been using Leadership and Self-Deception to improve their lives and workplaces—areas such as team building, conflict resolution, and personal growth and development, to name a few.

Read this extraordinary book and discover what millions already have learned—how to consistently tap into an innate ability that dramatically improves both your results and your relationships.

Length

225
Pages
Language

EN
English
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Publisher

Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date

2010
January 11
File size

1.0 MB
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Word Wise
Enabled
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Enhanced typesetting
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Editorial Reviews

Review

''This is a profound book, with deep and sweeping implications. It is engaging, fresh, easy to read, and packed with insights. I couldn't recommend it more highly.'' --Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

''Extraordinary . . . Five Stars.'' --Business Ethics

''This is the most profound and practical business book I have ever read! Everyone I have recommended this book to has been challenged intellectually and also touched emotionally. It is a must-read that I will give to my kids to read before they begin their careers.'' --Tom A. DiDonato, Vice President, Human Resources, American Eagle Outfitters

''I love this book. It identifies the central issue in all organizational performance. Like truth itself, this book reveals more with each re-examination. I highly recommend it.'' --Doug Hauth, Business Development Manager, Convio, Inc.

''Imagine working in an organization where the aim of your colleagues is to help you achieve your results. I could not believe it possible. After reading this book I just had to bring Arbinger to the UK to teach our people. What an experience! We are all better people for it. This book touches the very foundation of culture, teamwork, and performance.'' --Mark Ashworth, President and CEO, Butcher's Pet Care, UK

''It's rare to find a business book that is good enough to recommend to your boss, your work team, and your friends. The concepts in this book have transformed both the way I work and the way I live.'' --Robert W. Edwards, Managing Director, Sales, FedEx

''After decades of executive leadership in senior management positions, I've finally found in Arbinger what I consider to be the best means of improving every measure of success. From boosting the bottom line to increasing personal joy, this book shows the way.'' --Bruce L. Christensen, former President and CEO, PBS

''This astonishing book is a MUST-read for every executive or personal and professional coach.'' --Laura Whitworth, coauthor of Co-Active Coaching, and cofounder, The Coaches Training Institute

''The concepts in this book are powerful. They are fundamental to success whether on the playing field, in the office, or perhaps most importantly, at home. Read this book and you ll see what I mean.'' --Steve Young, two-time NFL Most Valuable Player

''Rarely has a book had such an immediate and profound impact on the hundreds of CEOs of fast growth firms we work with through our MIT/Inc./EO Executive Program. And it's one of those rare books that touches both the personal as well as professional lives of these leaders.'' --Verne Harnish, cofounder, Entrepreneurs' Organization, and CEO, Gazelles, Inc.

''Leadership and Self-Deception is a touchstone for authentic leadership. Arbinger's innovative exploration of what lies beneath behavior uplifts, enlightens, and transforms. We've wholeheartedly adopted Leadership and Self-Deception as the foundational material for our administrator development program.'' --Troy S. Buer, Educational Program Director, University of Virginia School of Medicine

''This is probably the most outstanding book that directs us to soul searching and introspection. It teaches us to take accountability for our lives and our destinies in a down-to-earth and bluntly practical manner. The lessons in this book have helped me personally, as well as other people I love.'' --Kalyan Banerjee, cofounder and Senior Vice President, MindTree --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Bud

It was a brilliant summer morning shortly before nine, and I was hurrying to the most important meeting of my new job at Zagrum Company. As I walked across the tree-lined grounds, I recalled the day two months earlier when I had first entered the secluded campus-style headquarters to interview for a senior management position. I had been watching the company for more than a decade from my perch at one of its competitors and had tired of finishing second. After eight interviews and three weeks spent doubting myself and waiting for news, I was hired to lead one of Zagrum’s product lines.

Now, four weeks later, I was about to be introduced to a senior management ritual peculiar to Zagrum: a daylong one-on-one meeting with the executive vice president, Bud Jefferson. Bud was the right-hand man to Zagrum’s president, Kate Stenarude. And due to a shift within the executive team, he was about to become my new boss.

I had tried to find out what this meeting was all about, but my colleagues’ explanations confused me. They mentioned a discovery that solved “people problems”; how no one really focused on results; and that something about the “Bud Meeting,” as it was called, and strategies that evidently followed from it, was key to Zagrum’s incredible success. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was eager to meet, and impress, my new boss.

Bud Jefferson was a youngish-looking 50-year-old combination of odd-fitting characteristics: a wealthy man who drove around in an economy car without hubcaps; a near–high school dropout who had graduated with law and business degrees, summa cum laude, from Harvard; a connoisseur of the arts who was hooked on the Beatles. Despite his apparent contradictions, and perhaps partly because of them, Bud was revered as something of an icon. He was universally admired in the company.

It took 10 minutes on foot to cover the distance from my office in Building 8 to the lobby of the Central Building. The pathway — one of many connecting Zagrum’s 10 buildings — meandered beneath oak and maple canopies along the banks of Kate’s Creek, a postcard-perfect stream that was the brainchild of Kate Stenarude and had been named after her by the employees.

As I scaled the Central Building’s hanging steel stairway up to the third floor, I reviewed my performance during my month at Zagrum: I was always among the earliest to arrive and latest to leave. I felt that I was focused and didn’t let outside matters interfere with my objectives. Although my wife often complained about it, I was making a point to outwork and outshine every coworker who might compete for promotions in the coming years. I nodded to myself in satisfaction. I had nothing to be ashamed of. I was ready to meet Bud Jefferson.

Arriving in the main lobby of the third floor, I was greeted by Bud’s secretary, Maria. “You must be Tom Callum,” she said with enthusiasm.

“Yes, thank you. I have an appointment with Bud for nine o’clock,” I said.

“Yes. Bud asked me to have you wait for him in the East-view Room. He should be with you in about five minutes.” Maria escorted me down the hall and into a large conference room. I went to the long bank of windows and admired the views of the campus between the leaves of the green Connecticut woods. A minute or so later, there was a brisk knock on the door, and in walked Bud.

“Hello, Tom. Thanks for coming,” he said with a big smile as he offered his hand. “Please, sit down. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, juice?”

“No, thank you,” I replied, “I’ve had plenty already this morning.”

I settled in the black leather chair nearest me, my back to the window, and waited for Bud as he poured himself some water in the serving area in the corner. He walked back with his water, bringing the pitcher and an extra glass with him. He set them on the table between us. “Sometimes things can get pretty hot in here. We have a lot to do this morning. Please feel free whenever you’d like.”

“Thanks,” I stammered. I was grateful for the gesture but more unsure than ever what this was all about.

“Tom,” said Bud abruptly, “I’ve asked you to come today for one reason — an important reason.”

“Okay,” I said evenly, trying to mask the anxiety I was feeling.

“You have a problem — a problem you’re going to have to solve if you’re going to make it at Zagrum.”

I felt as if I’d been kicked in the stomach. I groped for some appropriate word or sound, but my mind was racing and words failed me. I was immediately conscious of the pounding of my heart and the sensation of blood draining from my face.

As successful as I had been in my career, one of my hidden weaknesses was that I was too easily knocked off balance. I had learned to compensate by training the muscles in my face and eyes to relax so that no sudden twitch would betray my alarm. And now, it was as if my face instinctively knew that it had to detach itself from my heart or I would be found out to be the same cowering third-grader who broke into an anxious sweat, hoping for a “well done” sticker, every time Mrs. Lee passed back the homework.

Finally I managed to say, “A problem? What do you mean?”

“Do you really want to know?” asked Bud.

“I’m not sure. I guess I need to, from the sound of it.”

“Yes,” Bud agreed, “you do.” --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00GUPYRUS
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 2nd edition (January 11, 2010)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 11, 2010
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 1064 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 225 pages

Customer Reviews:
4.5 2,402 ratings

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The Arbinger Institute

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Founded in 1979, the Arbinger Institute has helped thousands of individuals, teams, and organizations achieve breakthrough results by making the one change that most dramatically improves performance, sparks collaboration, and accelerates innovation: a shift from the default self-focus of an "inward mindset" to the others-inclusive results-focus of an "outward mindset." Arbinger's training and consulting programs are specifically designed to facilitate this change.

Early on, Arbinger’s growth was fueled solely by clients who spread the word about Arbinger’s impact. Arbinger’s public profile was dramatically increased by the global success of its first book, Leadership & Self Deception, which was published in 2000. The book quickly became a word-of-mouth bestseller. It is now available in 27 languages and has sold over a million copies.

Arbinger’s second international bestseller, The Anatomy of Peace, was published in 2006. Available in 14 languages and having sold more than 500,000 copies to date, The Anatomy of Peace demonstrates the power of Arbinger’s work in resolving conflict.

Arbinger's newest book, The Outward Mindset, shares the true and compelling stories of individual leaders and client organizations. Through these examples and simple yet profound guidance and tools, the book enables individuals and organizations to shift to an outward mindset.

Arbinger is recognized as a world leader in improving organizational effectiveness and in conflict resolution. Arbinger’s clients range from individuals who are seeking help in their lives to many of the largest companies and governmental institutions in the world.

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Matthew Rochte

Pivotal book in my life

Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2018

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First time I was asked to read this book back in 2002, I went, "wow, great book, I know 20 people who should read this book." I sent them a copy of told them about it and promptly forgot about the book. A year goes by and I attend a program on going after the big things in life and there was only one requires reading . This book. Now as a leadership coach who has read the gamut of books on the subject and should write my own book, I as stunned that this book was the only required reading and thought "it was good, but not that good, but maybe I missed something?" As I flipped to the second page, I felt a deep sense of dread wash over me as I realized that this book was about ME! "oh crap!" , flip the page, "oh crap!" And so on. Such is the power of self deception. It is pervasive, insidious, and recoverable - with the help of this book and Anatomy of Peace. I can not see the world the way I once did, and that is a fantastic thing. Everyone needs to read this book, because you have a problem, but you are in luck we all have the same problem, just like me.

5 people found this helpful

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This book is more than you will ever think...

Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2014

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Leadership & Self Deception is not about someone else's issues and problems that seemingly piss ME/YOU off. The premise is all about ME/YOU deciding that its time to engage people for who they are so I/YOU can "work to make things go right." The issue is not to change someone else's behavior (read that line twice)... but changing MY attitude and behavior regardless of whatever their attitude might be. Wow! But what about them and their attitude?

Too bad - so sad - because Self-Deception is the inability to see that I have a problem. This is why... "No matter what we are doing on the outside, people respond primarily to how we are feeling about them on the inside." That is very enlightening.

The point is that OUR success as a leader at work in the home etc. depends on being free of self betrayal. Only then by our actions and emotions do we invite others to be free of self betrayal.

I highly recommend this book. At a bare minimum - it will probably help lower your blood pressure. What's not to love??

22 people found this helpful

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Oliver

Simplistic, But Worth a Read

Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2010

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The title of Leadership and Self-Deception is misleading. It is barely about leadership at all; that word should be deleted from the title altogether. The book is really about how people justify their own mistakes. The authors deliver their message through a simple story about a fictitious corporation that has adopted the authors' views about how to get along with others.

In reading this book, I felt caught between two feelings. On the one hand, I felt like there is a lot of truth in what the authors are trying to convey, and that I could gain quite a bit by adopting some of their attitudes towards others. On the other hand, the way they delivered their message had a paternalistic, absolutist feeling to it that made me feel like Big Brother was writing to me.

This is a short book, and easy enough to read. But, if you are interested in this topic, you could do better. I recommend instead: Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson. Mistakes Were Made is a much more direct and balanced look at the same topic, and I highly recommend it.

One person found this helpful

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Karen F

Want out of your unproductive yo yo box? Read this!!!

Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2013

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I haven't finished reading this book yet but it's already had an impact. It's helped me understand so many attitudes regarding family, friends and, most importantly, myself! I've already begun incorporating some of the principles of the book and what a difference it's made already! I'm actually enjoying catching myself in the self deception mode and getting out of my box. I'm looking forward to finishing the book and applying more of the principles to my daily life. However, do not expect this to be a one-time read or a one-time fix. To be successful you will have to apply the principles every single day of your life no matter what situation arises. But I think the rewards, internal as well as external, will truly be worth every moment of effort you put into it. For me the book is written in the way I learn best -- through story telling. Thank you for a job well done!

One person found this helpful

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Mark-Odean

Excellent Book!

Reviewed in the United States on October 3, 2017

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Wow, what can I say? This book will take just about anyone in an amazing journey of reflection, introspection and self discovery. And not just that; it also drives home a powerful call to action for individuals to become better people, treating people well and leading from a place of personal responsibility and accountability that will inevitably lead to excellent results.

What I liked most was the use of stories about personal experiences to deliver the concepts in a relatable and practical way.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is seeking to develop themselves in a sustainable way, as well as anyone who is keen and committed to achieving transformation and excellence in leadership and management.

One person found this helpful

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Jonathan King

Over the last 30 years, I have always had ...

Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2015

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Over the last 30 years, I have always had my students rate the required readings in my classes on a scale of 1-5 (1 = burn in public; 5 = read multiple times then save for grandchildren). Average textbook ratings are around 1.9 which is just one reason why I've never used them. (BTW, my sample size is around 25,000 students.) I only require Leadership and Self-Deception for my Honors classes. For the last 6+ years its average rating is 4.8 out of 5. And we are talking about classes with top rate students ranging from computer science to philosophy.
I personally reread it every year. Learning to "see boxes" is ancient wisdom, hugely relevant, and not taught worth a damn in "higher" education. Maybe that's why I reread it.

2 people found this helpful

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Sandra Avila

Buena lectura

Reviewed in Mexico on February 12, 2021

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Me gustó mucho el contenido de este libro, siento que quizá desperdician mucho papel al hacer la letra tan grande pero a mi me fue de mucho ayuda puesto que tengo problemas de visión.

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Slim

A must read

Reviewed in Canada on May 26, 2018

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This book is an absolute must read, regardless of the area you are seeking to apply it principles. I have taken training courses that have skimmed the surface of the principles in this book, however have not delved so deeply into the root fundimentals of the ideas.
One particular phase I've heard in the industry I'm in is "My Fault Management". Others in my organization have been taught this to be, what have you dont to contribute to the problem or blame yourself for the outome of the situation. By viewing the concept in this way, they assign blame to themselves and tend to develope feelings of resentment towards others in the organization. This, I believe, helps lead them into "the box".
On the other hand, I was taught this to mean, access the situation, identify where you have contributed to the undesired results, accept responsibly for your actions and move on to come up with ways to help you and others achieve the results you / your team are hoping to accomplish in the first place. This way, I believe, reduces the chances for you to enter irnto "the box" and therefore reduces the instances of your in box-ness leading others to the same fate.
This book is absolutely pivotal in helping one build and maintain a successful operation. I look forward to reading The Arbinger Institute's other publications.

Cliente

Greatest book on leadership!!!

Reviewed in Brazil on July 27, 2017

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Currently, in our organizations we deal with lots of difficulties do our best, one of the is the self-deception that makes go deep into our lives and begin to see people as objects. This books, explains well what is self-deception and how we can get this out of our lives!!!

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Santhosh Sundaram

Are you ready to face the reality?? Are you treating your fellow beings right??

Reviewed in India on September 14, 2018

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The product was delivered on time as usual. So thanks amazon for timely delivery. This is one book that can change the perception one has towards his fellow being. A non fiction plot rendered through a story makes it a light weighted book. I would straightly put this book on the list of must read books of the lifetime. The early you read the most you get benefitted. Have it in your bookshelf or in the place that is often noticed by you to remind you of the principles mentioned.

One person found this helpful

T+S

Kurzeinblick

Reviewed in Germany on October 18, 2017

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Ein Buch, das man aus meiner Sicht gelesen haben muss und weiterempfehlen sollte.

Ich selbst werde das Buch meinen Kolleginnen und Kollegen empfehlen und darum bitten, das Buch zu verstehen und anzuwenden.
Das heißt, nicht nur das kollegiale Miteinander wird dadurch erhöht, sondern auch die eigene Erkenntnis über einen selbst und andere. Weiterhin gibt das Buch die passenden Empfehlungen dazu, vielleicht der Kollege, die Kollegin oder auch die Führungskraft zu werden, die viele von uns verdient haben.

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Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box Kindle Edition

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