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Learning to Play With a Lions Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa Paperback – April 16, 2013
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A full 10 years later, and after reading this book in preparation, I returned to the same zoo to finish the job I started. Surprisingly, the same lion was there. Perhaps not surprisingly, he apparently recognized me immediately and was excited to see me again.
This time, I knew how to do the job more productively. The book taught me the "Three Steps To Playing Ball" correctly.
1. Mind you, the lion is a fierce animal, but also fiercely loyal ... so the first step is to establish trust and loyalty. If you can, show the animal (by example) the enjoyment you can have with your own testicle play.
2. You must offer testicle play to the lion. As the king of the jungle, he is often offered testicle play, but since you've established trust (and competence) in step one, he may accept by rolling to his back.
3. Finally, the third step is where you (the testicle player) need to "earn your keep". The book highlights moves such as the "Jungle Juggle" and the "Reverse Double Play" that may surprise and entertain your lion.
In summary, NEVER EVER attempt to play with a Lions Testicles before reading this book.
Haynes went to South Africa to volunteer on a wild game reserve, seeking to find some perspective and purpose in her life. What sounded like an adventure quickly turned into a stubborn contest of wills between her and the park ranger, nicknamed the Drill Sergeant, who didn't much care for city volunteers... especially those of the female persuasion. He was determined to send her packing as early as possible into her three-week stint, and she was just as determined to prove herself as something more than a woman who needed babysitting. Along the way, she learned some tough truths about life, death, and self-imposed limitations. While she had gone to help the animals, it ended up being the animals that helped her.
Had the story been nothing more than her experiences on the reserve, it would have been a fun read. Haynes does an excellent job in capturing the humor and bizarreness of life on the plains of Africa. However, there's a serious thread that winds through the pages, one that ties together the lessons of the reserve with the realities of life and death. Her mom had passed away due to cancer, and Haynes was dealing with massive guilt over not being able to handle the final hours. She comes face-to-face with that guilt and fear in a very primal way during her stay, and it's hard to keep a dry eye as the events unfold.
Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles is a 200 page roller-coaster of emotions, and it's a ride that's well worth experiencing. You'll laugh and cry, sometimes both at the same time...
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
How many tragedies could have been prevented if only this had been written ten years ago? Maulings at worst, crippling awkwardness at best... Read morePublished 17 days ago by Joel G.
An intriguing read on feline genitalia. It managed to pose realistically applicable questions, such as "Why am I human? Why not a lion? Read morePublished 4 months ago by Matthew Johnson
A very thin story, told in two parts jumping back an forth, but the author doesn't seem to learn anything or grow. Best part of this book- the title.Published 4 months ago by DaveNYC
I have not read it at this time. Honestly I bought it to sit next to my bondage for beginners book.Published 9 months ago by Selkie1975
I first stumbled upon Melissa Haynes website whilst surfing the net one day, and immediately enjoyed her brash, humorous approach to not just life, but also the various situations... Read morePublished 16 months ago by D. Knapp-Fisher
I was expecting something entirely different inside this book; despite the title, the cover art fooled me into believing this book was much more serious than it was. Read morePublished 18 months ago by Amazon Customer
Interesting book. Very funny to leave casually laying around when guests are coming over!Published 19 months ago by soulmanvede