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About Lee H. Baucom Ph.D.
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Blog postHave you ever had the experience of a doctor telling you what was wrong with you, and even if you couldn’t really do anything, it helped to know what it was? Maybe it was just an ache or pain, a small illness. Just having a name for it — even some fancy latin term (or maybe especially some latin term) — somehow makes it seem better. Naming something helps us feel some control.
This pandemic has stripped us of many feelings of control. It more often feels like l -
Blog postAt the beginning of a coaching session, my clients often tell me what they have been focused on in their marriage crisis. Almost always, they are focusing on the wrong things. And in the process, they are not focusing on the right things. Where we focus is what gets our attention. Focus on the wrong […]
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Blog post“Why is marriage so hard?” That is a question I often hear from struggling couples. What happened? All of that love, all the connection, seems to disappear, to be replaced with struggle and strife. At the start, it seemed so easy. You wanted to be together, to spend your life together. Then… something shifted. Things […]
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Blog postYour spouse thinks it’s hopeless. You may even be wondering that, too. But is it? Is it hopeless? Or is the problem that your spouse is hopeless — not the situation? Let’s be honest: if you give up hope, it may become a hopeless situation. Sometimes, having hope is not based on seeing the way. […]
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Blog postWhat a chaotic time we are in! Even without a pandemic, it was already chaotic, what with politics and changes in society. Stir in a pandemic, and there is NO way to be calm.
Right?
Or maybe….
Maybe calm is not about what is happening around you, outside of you. Perhaps it comes from somewhere within you. Somewhere that knows you are separate from the external chaos.
Our internal response to a chaotic world can be chaos… or we might be able to find calm. -
Blog post“Our marriage is broken,” she told me. “We don’t have the passion anymore, so I don’t think we should stay married.” Missing passion… is it the end of marriage, or something else? Most relationships are sparked by infatuation. Call it passion or romance, but the desire to be with that person, that overwhelming attraction, is […]
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Blog postCoping with COVID Series
I was at a book signing a while back, signing a book of mine that is a few years old. This person picked it up, looked at the publication date, put it down, and said, “I was looking for something more recent.”
That had me pondering… how long is information valid? Sure, I would not likely want to read a computer book about the Windows 98 operating system, or about the coming “Y2K crisis.” But what about transformational -
Blog postIf a marriage crisis was not enough to deal with… now we have a pandemic. And if that was not enough, we are self-isolating. The pandemic isn’t anything we can control. Self-isolating is best for ourselves and others. What, though, does that mean about your marriage crisis? How do you deal with that? In the […]
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Blog postWhen I was a kid, I hit this point when I was growing fast. So fast that my limbs hurt, I constantly tripped, and knocked everthing over as my hand got there before I expected. Growth was a challenge.
Generally, though, it works the other way. When we are challenged (and take it on), we grow. A child wants to crawl, then walk, then run. But wanting to is not the same as being able to. Crawling ends up being a bellyflop. Walking leads to teeter -
Blog post“I’m just out of energy,” she told me, “I don’t think I can even try to save my marriage. Besides, what is the point?” Let’s face it: right now, many people are feeling exhausted and drained. And working to save a marriage can be tiring when the world is rightside-up. Much less when everything feels […]
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Blog postCoping with COVID Series
It happens about 25,000 per day. And for the most part, it is automatic. But it is one of the few bodily functions that you can “take off automatic” and choose how you will do it. And you might not be doing it optimally.
What is it?
Breathing. Taking a breath. Inhaling and exhaling.
I know, it seems automatic, right? But you can choose to take a deep breath. Or you can hold your breath. Yo -
Blog postI can’t count how many times a couple has come to me for “help with our communication skills.” Funny thing is, they communicate just fine. Then why are they stuck in conflict? Why are they disconnected? Why does it seem like they aren’t on the same team? Perceptions. About each other and about the situation […]
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Blog postWhat a time we are living through in the world! The COVID-19 pandemic has brought many parts of culture and the economy to a screeching halt. Other parts are overwhelmed with the pace. Frontline and essential workers are feeling the overwhelm of responsibility. Most of the rest are feeling the overwhelm of isolation. We WILL […]
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Blog postWhat a time we are living through in the world! The COVID-19 pandemic has brought many parts of culture and the economy to a screeching halt. Other parts are overwhelmed with the pace.
Frontline and essential workers are feeling the overwhelm of responsibility. Most of the rest are feeling the overwhelm of isolation.
We WILL get through this. That is what we, as humans, do. We overcome. We rise to the challenge. We push through. -
Blog postUnless you are hiding out in a cave somewhere (I read about a person who had been on a silent retreat — went in with everything normal and came out to the pandemic), your world has been topsy-turvy. We will get through this. The pandemic will pass. But this isn’t about, “and then, we will […]
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Blog postCoping with COVID Series
It’s highly contagious. You can catch it from a single interaction with one person. You can catch it much faster in a crowd. You can pass it on to someone else in an instant.
You can also catch it from just reading, watching, or listening to something.
In 39 milliseconds, you have it… and you didn’t even see it coming!
Coronavirus? Nope. That is certainly serious, and you absolutely want to do everything yo -
Blog postAre you suddenly finding yourself and your spouse stuck together, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic? Is it suddenly very close quarters? If your marriage wasn’t struggling before, this may be the stressor that pushes your relationship into crisis. Or it might just be the turning point to a thriving marriage. What can you do during […]
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Blog postCoping with COVID Series
Let me just say, I am a bit weary. How about you?
This has been a wearying time for so many of us. Nobody is unaffected by this pandemic. And we can’t even point to an end to the crisis. Take a guess, and your guess is probably as good as any other.
What do we do? Everything seems to be upside-down, inside-out, and topsy-turvy. It’s hard to figure out what happens next and what to do next.
Which means -
Blog postCoping with COVID Series
Did you hear about the guy who had been on a meditation retreat for a couple of weeks? He went in with “life as usual.” And he emerged into a whole new world. One where people are practicing social distance, sheltering at home, and scared. One where restaurants, coffee shops, and bars are closed or limited. One where every cough is scary.
And one where we are trying to figure out the “new normal.”
How are you doing -
Blog postCoping with COVID Series
When I recorded this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, it was almost another world. Many people were still minimizing the novel coronavirus. Even politicians were downplaying the severity and impact.
So much has changed. Many, if not most, schools are closed to face-to-face instruction. Many workers are working from home, where possible. Lots of restaurants are only serving by delivery or take-out. New guidelines s
Books By Lee H. Baucom Ph.D.
Recovering From The Affair: Your Guide To Saving Your Marriage After Emotional Or Physical Infidelity
Jan 16, 2017
$6.99
Other Formats:
Paperback
$9.99
The Immutable Laws of Living: The Inspirational Blueprint to Living Your Meaningful Life
Jan 1, 2018
$9.99
Other Formats:
Paperback
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