Leonard, Part 6
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Bill Cosby is a retired master secret agent-turned-restauranteur who suddenly finds himself in the midst of a perilous madcap action-adventure to save the world from lobsters, frogs, ostriches and other denizens of the animal kingdom. This comedic action-adventure co-stars Tom Courtenay, Joe Don Baker, Moses Gunn.
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The plot is about a megalomaniac vegetarian activist hiding out at her headquarters in the "International Tuna" building taking over the world by controlling animals. This sets up the hilarity for the protagonists to battle homicidally possessed but otherwise cute creatures (frogs, rabbits, lobsters, etc.) The film starts terribly (Cosby riding an ostrich anyone?) and quickly evolves to a death by hairball scene that you will not quickly forget. The whole mess is narrated by Leonard's butler, as it makes the unfolding continuity disaster easier to follow. I mean, how else could you rationalize Bill Cosby racing through the streets in a rocket-powered camouflaged Porsche with roof cannon confronting evil vegetarians and a hostile anteater segueing into a terrible modern dance spectacle? Along the way there's romance gone awry and righted, largely through the therapeutic application of a tureen of soup to Bill Cosby's suit and hair. (Seriously, how was the food on Cosby even supposed to be funny? Anyone?) But if that's not enough to keep your interest, how would like to see Bill Cosby perform surgery on himself? Sounds hilarious, right? No? I will not even address the ludicrous climax other than to say that repelling lobsters with butter and using a magical hotdog to decapitate your foe made me literally scream "Just please end!" at the television. (I really did.)
I do have one lingering issue with this film: Alka-Seltzer and Lava soap are both prominently featured in this movie. Did some marketing genius actually pay for product placement in this disaster? That was (really) the biggest question I had after watching "Leonard Part 6."
This is epically bad, and despite being warned of the intrinsic awfulness of this movie, I have to admit that even I had no idea how repellant it is. As much as I enjoy "Red Zone Cuba," "Plan 9 From Outer Space," or even the Rick Sloane anti-masterpiece "Hobgoblins" I found "Leonard Part 6" so bad it was just bad.
The supporting cast of characters is straight out of a poorly-written Dr. Seuss book. First off, there's the killer henchman Man Rey (David Maier) who has a penchant for saying "Quellish," the code word used to make his fish and frogs go for the kill. Second, there's a Romanian lady who lives in an Oakland "trailer park" and speaks absolutely no English ... or Romanian, for that matter. Leonard, however, goes to see her before every mission ... and she slaps him in the head a few times while spouting gibberish, then gives him various objects - hot dogs, ballet slippers, meat patties, and more.
Ya know what? I can't write anymore ... this movie's horrible. It's bordering on so-bad-it's-good, but not on the good-side ... it's strictly terrible, and at times, VERY FEW TIMES, it approaches something resembling a movie that's funny in a ironic way. If you like Cosby, you'll hate him after this. If you don't, whatever expectations you might've had for him and his brand of comedy will be shattered, as mine were. He actually helped to write this piece of garbage. The director said that Cosby went rogue during filming, refusing to take advice or criticism, and simply told him to take care of structure. Cosby would "take care of the funny."
He took care of it all right - more like assassinated it. If you're a cine-masochist, I'd recommend you check it out. If not, stay away. Stay far away. The End.