I adore this book. I first heard about this method on message boards online. Everyone was talking about it. At first I started going through some of the advice from her book second hand, but eventually I got caught up enough in a decluttering whirlwind that I decided to buy the book (ebook format of course!). I'm really glad I did! It's a very fast read and does tend to repeat itself at times (I think there may be some awkwardness from translation) but well worth the read through.
I love that in the book she tells about her own journey involved in developing her method. We see the places she stumbled and get to learn from her experience.
Marie Kondo seems to have stumbled upon a lot of concepts that have been heavily researched in the social sciences sciences without knowing about the evidence base form them, just drawing from her own experiences.
To me this method maps on conceptually to the concept of mindfulness although the book never uses the word "mindfulness". (Buddhist scholars forgive me here, as I am going to talk about mindfulness from a western psychological research perspective rather than a religious one since that is that area I am familiar with.)
Kondo instructs people to attend to their present moment feelings as they hold each object. Even when discarding objects it is done so in a way that expresses gratitude an acceptance for all experiences the objects brought both positive and negative. Did you love this object in the past, but now it is worn out? Taking Kondo's advice of thanking each object for the role it had before discarding it may seem a little silly, but it works. It creates a context in which removing the object from your life is not about you expressing hatred for the object, rather it is acknowledging that it has served it's purpose and can move on. This makes it easier to discard objects like that dress you used to wear all the time and loved, but now has a stain on it. In Kondo's method discarding is not about you waging a battle against your stuff, rather you attend to end object and the feelings it evokes in the present. By removing this antagonistic perspective about cluttering I was able to part with some formerly beloved objected that at present no longer evoked that that feeling of joy that they had in the past.
Similarly I love that in this method a similar expression of gratitude is used when discarding object that never met expectations. Kondo recommends thanking the object for teaching you about what you like and/or for bringing you joy at the time you bought it. She targets logical fallacies suck as the sunk cost fallacy without using technical jargon.
One of the most brilliant parts of this method is the emphasis on separating the process of identifying what to keep and the process of organizing. These are two very different types of mental processes. To me this again maps onto the concept of mindfulness. This process of attending to the feelings evoked by each object requires one to attend to their feelings in the present. As soon as you switch to organizing you are no longer in that same mindful present-focused place because organizing requires thought about future use of the object.
Kondo does a brilliant job of targeting common reasons why people hold onto objects they no longer need. This was very helpful for me regarding books. I had a large number of books that had moved with me 6+ times in the past 10 years. Kondo pointed out that often the thing we needed from the book is already inside of us after reading it. I had held onto so many books because I had fond memories of reading them, and Kondo helped me realized that for many of these holding onto the physical object was not important because I had gotten everything I needed from the book.
I love that she does not emphasize going out and buying a million containers. That has long been my decluttering downfall. I am great at having lots of neatly organized stuff in lots of little containers. With Kondo's method though I realized that much of this neatly organized stuff was not actually stuff that brought me joy. This book is not just for someone who is very messy, it can also be for the person who is overorganized to the point where they have lost sight of what they really want to have.
Don't be tempted to reject her method of folding clothing. I was skeptical but decided to try it out. Over a month into this with many laundry cycles, the organization has held up for me. This is the most sustainable clothing organization method I have ever used. It's not burdensome to put clothing away and it is so easy to find each item in the drawer.
I love this this method has helped me become more attuned to how items I own make me feel. Those little feelings of irritation can add up and it's lovely to look in my drawers and on my shelves and have a feeling of quiet contentment.
I am close to reaching the goal of going through every object in my home. There have certainly been bits that didn't resonate as much. For example, I'm not super into the idea of greeting my home. But some of the anthropomorphizing of objects does resonate with me and help me keep things more organized. When I see my shoes out of place thrown out on the floor now I feel a twinge of empathy for my shoes which pushes me to place them gently in their proper location.
I'm not on board with her suggestion to empty the purse each day. I understand why, it helps reduce clutter from accumulating there, but I am someone who has enough trouble just remembering my phone and car keys. I don't want more things I can forget in my half awake morning state.
There are some areas I think she could have better addressed though. I think there are a lot of ways that a functional necessary object might be modified to bring joy rather than being discarded. I realize this could be a slippery slope making it harder to discard, but I have personally found that items I have modified with crafting in some way have become favorite items. Similarly some clothing items may be able to bring joy if repaired in some way.
Overall I loved this book and have been recommending it to everyone I know.
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She wants me to what?!
I know a secret. If you have too much stuff and it’s bugging you then get rid of it. All of it. Well, nearly all of it. Save a few things but only the things you absolutely love, the things that spark joy within your being (you’ll know it when you feel it, says the author) and don’t bring more things into the house unless you love and/or need them. Don’t think you can do that? Well, never mind then.This author wants you to be absolutely ruthless with your possessions and do it in one fell swoop. Don’t dilly-dally and put certain unpleasant things off. Absolutely do not waste money buying “storage solutions”. Just get rid of your stuff and you won’t have to store it or dust it or leave it there to feel bad for itself. Now, none of this is a bad thing (though the last might be a wee bit kooky) and honestly I’m all for it. I had way too much crap lying about and it was driving me crazy. Broken crap, ugly crap, gifted crap, crap that had been there so long it was invisible to me. But this book has a problem and it is a BIG one that I’m betting many of you here on this site may take issue with as well.Step #2, you see, is books. BOOKS! Step freaking two is BOOKS. As you can probably easily imagine, I am stuck here on step #2 because, well, it’s a call to action to rid myself of my precious books! I’ve been collecting books since I was twelve years old. I have a lot of books but I’m afraid I may love them all.#1 was clothes, shoes, accessories and that was a breeze. Who needs clothes taking up space that could hold a few books? This was easy, thought I. My closet was done in an hour or so. Everything culled, sorted and color coded and folded all nice and tidy-like. I could blow through this, thought I. A zen and clutter-free life was within my grasp. I had this. Then step #2 happened and I was instructed to rid myself of all of the books I have loved before (but may not love again) and all of the books I have not read yet. Uh oh. I was told to remove my TBR pile(s) from my life. Forever. And almost always. She’ll allow you to re-buy digitally if you are pining away and dying of sadness for it. I was instructed to touch each one and see if it sparked that apparently not-so-elusive feeling of joy within me. Trouble is they all kind of did. I suppose I am broken. I tried folks, I truly did. I took pictures and even posted them online in an attempt to humiliate myself into following through. I even went so far as removing a gigantor bookshelf, stocked three piles deep, floor-to-ceiling, from my room as well as an armoire I no longer needed. I have to admit my room looks and feels calms and free and spacious. The bookshelf now neatly resides in my basement. I pulled off all of the books and starting sorting them but it made me incredibly sad to think about tossing them out of my house where they might potentially end up in a trash/recycle bin (according to the author everything has feelings so how could I allow this? Better they be a little lonesome on my shelf than DEAD, right?!). Instead of tossing them into bags, I started arranging them by color (which she wants you to do with clothes) and then I put all but a dozen or so back up on the shelves. They look happy and pretty and they brighten the back wall of the basement. I have decided that I am keeping them. They are my one and only vice and I work hard. They are not clutter.I think I shall pretend that step 2 was nothing but a fever dream.After I was revived with sniffing salts I got back to business. So next comes all of the other stuff which I can easily part ways with; the paper, the stuff no one ever eats, the gadgets (my days of bread baking are over), the broken things that we’ve been thinking we’ll fix someday, the mementos, pictures and all the other useless crapola that has been residing in the basement since we moved in a million years ago. I’ve removed countless bags of trash and several car loads of “stuff” and hauled them to Goodwill and I miss none of it. It is so much easier to clean my house now. I haven’t followed this plan as written, it’s difficult when you live with several other people, so we still have some bins and crud to get to but now I'm inspired to keep at it.This book will give you some unique tools and I do recommend it if you skip step two or perhaps save it for last, if you’re anything like me. She has a nifty way of folding clothes that helped me fit everything into a few drawers and will keep me in check if I decide I need more yoga pants. You really do see just how much of each clothing category you own when you pile them all on the bed/floor and separate them into their own little categories. She doesn’t declutter by room but by category. This stops you from getting stuck (on pictures or mementos which are left for the end) and forces you to deal with an entire category and actually finish the job so you never have to do it again. She also tells you to start with a clear vision of your end result. That bit of advice has helped me tremendously.The author clearly has an obsession with tidying. She does not deny this. Apparently, she’s been this way since she was a wee, strange child and goes into great detail at the beginning of book about her childhood hobby of “tidying”. This makes the start a bit of a slog. I found some of her beliefs a little quirky and I will not be emptying my bag out each night so my stuff can “breathe” only to put everything back in come morning (what the?!) but if you can overlook some of the odd things she says, you’ll more than likely find something here to help you out.
Top reviews from other countries
Afifa Azam
Must read book if you are looking for a tidy house!
Reviewed in India on September 17, 2023
Afifa Azam
Reviewed in India on September 17, 2023
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