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Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World Hardcover – February 12, 2013
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“Life Code” is a book may or may not help one to win in the “Real World” everyday for sure, but this book will definitely help one, at least, shed some lights on what he/she is doing wrong, who are these people he/she is dealing with, so that one can take steps towards changes, fight smart and get out of the victim mentality.
I have been a life long bullying victim since my early childhood. I have never understood as to why I was always picked on even though I was not a weak individual by any means. I hoped for my life will get better as I get older. Nope, bullying got worse as I got older at my work places. As you read this previous sentence you might think that something could be very wrong with this individual. Yes and No! I used to think that “Everything will be good, because I am a good human being, I have very good values, I am an extremely hard worker and I always help others and care about others” etc. Indeed, it is all true about me. I probably am one of the nicest, kindest and caring persons one will ever meet. But THAT IS the PROBLEM!
If you are TOO nice, naive, generous, forgiven, people pleaser and sensitive, there are so many “Vampires” everywhere. I call them “Vampires”, because they have cold hearts and try to suck the life out of you for their benefits and progresses. You are nothing to them. They take advantage of you and try to control and manipulate you for their successes. They want to accomplish what they want at any cost, it does not matter if you are a nice person, a hard worker, an honest individual or have a difficult life or may be living under poverty line and you need that check to pay bills and feed your starving kids, or you are sick and has been ill for a long time. They will squash you down to get what they want in the “Real World“. Many of these kinds of “Vampires” are in power and accomplish what they want. They are everywhere! They want to be in control and they want power and money.
“Life Code” The New Rules for Winning in the Real World exposes about the “Life Codes and Rules”, that provides tools and arsenals to fight with the cold-hearted, malicious and manipulative life suckers.
The book consists of two parts:
Part I reveals about who are these “Bad guys” and how to spot them. These “Bad guys” have" core traits, characteristics, strategies and styles" that uses to bully, use, manipulate “Good guys” in marriages, at work places, and even at churches. They are everywhere. Most importantly this part helps you identifying the people with “Evil Eight” characteristic or the “BAITERS” (B-Backstabbers, A-Abusers, I-Imposters, T-Talkers, E-Exploiters, and R-Reckless). Again, the all content is extremely useful and truly an eye opener.
Part II addresses issues of "Stop Being a Target and become a Victim, most importantly “Your New “Life Code” and Rules for Winning in the Real World. The last topic of the Part II tackles a topic on “Parenting in the Real World.”
“Parenting in the Real World” section can itself be a great book. I believe how individual is raised has great impacts on his/her future life ups and downs. This section provides information on “Not Crippling Your Own Children”, “How World Really Works” and “Raise Adults”. Based on my own experiences, most of the damages, as who I am today, are done when I was young. My family had instilled in me good old Buddhist/Christian values such as being humble, compassionate, giving and sacrificing, dedicating yourself to the welfare of all others, karma, forgiving and loving your enemies, be always apologetic if you done wrong and on and on. In addition, as a young person, I intensely studied and followed what says in Dale Carnegie books (How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and How to win Friends and Influence People) which told me nothing about the malicious “BAITERS” and beneficial "LIFE CODES” of the real world. Of course these books were written for a long time ago, when people had decent values, and moreover honest hard working people are recognized and appreciated.
Finally, I truly believe that Dr. Phil shows that he is an extremely generous person at heart, just by writing this book. Contents of this book may be somewhat verbose and repetitive at times or it has poor editing works etc. yet his messages about the harsh reality is in it. He did convey his messages! Sure there were many self improvement and development books such as “In Sheep’s Clothing” and “Too Nice for Your Own Good”. But I love this book, because it is very simple to read and follow. The only drawback is this book has NO INDEX! I pre-ordered this book and have a hard cover version, no e-version. Given the usefulness of material, and the fact the book should be used as references and learning tools for one’s ongoing self-improvements, it has no index is regrettable! Perhaps it is rushed to print out… All in all, an excellent book! If you gone through similar life experiences of what I went through and what I am still enduing, you will know how useful and true is everything in this book. People who was used, abused, manipulated and their hope and dreams are crushed by the BAITERS will learn something from this book! People who have BAITERS traits will give a 1 STAR for this book and find nothing useful. Thank you very much, Dr. Phil !
Lastly, I am a non-native speaker who is trying to improve my English day by day, if you see any typos or grammar errors, anything annoying, verbose or obscure, it is an Amazon review, not an academic paper, please understand. Hopefully the above review conveyed my two-cents on “Life Code” by Dr. Phil McGraw.
He says Success is created and I believe it is .
Cheaters do sometimes win, the early bird doesn't always get the worm, and doing unto others as you wish they would do unto you doesn't always get you what you want, need or deserve. I'm telling you it's not the world I live in and I'm telling you it's not the world you live in. They play to win.
This statement woke me up he is so right on, I have always been taught this valuable lessons from the christian point of view...
First, I want to show you how you can protect yourself from getting hurt by the damaged and dangerous people lurking around the corner. Hurt by people who live on the dark side, dispense pain as a matter of course, and never shed a tear or give a second thought to how they victimized you- and may even brag about it.
Page 18 and 19 are excellent and I cannot share it all,
but he tells about how The baiters believe the "means are justified by the end." "They are totally self-focused and results oriented, and they are willing to do anything , absolutely anything , to achieve their goal, they lack empathy, conscience, and use dirty tricks to achieve their goals. they exploit abuse, lie, cheat, and manipulate."
He talks quite a bit about Baiters and how they often do get caught, he shares how to recognize them and deal with them.
Page 52 and 53
They thrive on drama and crisis.
They are often very angry and arrogant, which shows just below the surface. BAITERS are braggarts, and if you pay attention, they will show you who they are.
To predict their behavior, you have to see the world through their eyes and let your mind take a walk on the dark side.
This reminds me of a song and is a thought I will often refer back to.
Page 81, 82 and 83
They are never wrong, never responsible, never accountable, and never willing to step up and own their part in a negative situation. Someone must be to blame, and since it is never them, that leaves you.
They lie , either by misstatement or by omission. When a BAITER lies, however, it is all too often for a very nefarious purpose and designed to mislead someone who , if they knew the truth, would likely behave differently.
BAITERS hide everything with a menagerie of lies that would boggle the rational mind. They live their lives as a masquerade!
A lie unchallenged becomes the truth in time.
Never, ever put sensitive content, content that can be taken out of context, in writing, especially in an email. Instead, pick up the phone or go in person and have a real conversation.
Wow, this was a real eye opened for me! I have often thought when you write something down it can not be misconstrued because it is a clearly written sequence of thoughts, feelings and ideas. However, upon reflection of his thought here, I know he is correct for I have seen this happen personally. People do not always interpret things as you intend them to, miscommunication, misinformation.
Define what you really want, and do not invest in people or situations that couldn't give it to you even if they wanted to.
You never want to be predictable. And to be interesting, you have to maintain a certain degree of mystery, because it gives you a degree of mastery. Be discreet.
Be in PI mode always.
You should strive to surround yourself with a nucleus of people who share your passion, share your vision, and support your pursuit of your goals. It is important to understand that people do NOT bond head to head; they bond heart to heart.
I will leave you with that valuable thought! People who bond with you heart to heart not head to head are those who you want to involve yourself in and be around. They are the ones who want your best, who promote you and desire to see you succeed. They are the ones worthy of investing yourself in and becoming a strong invincible team. I have been challenged, changed and encouraged by the wisdom written in Life Code and will definitely be incorporating much of what I have learned into my everyday actions and interactions with others. Thank you Dr Phil for seeing the need for this information to get out and reach into our hearts and homes to make us better equipped for life as we know it today! Life Code is a valuable tool and instrument for daily success.
Idk why but years ago I was not fond of the Dr. Phil show and have changed my opinion. He seems to have some real insight into human emotions and behaviors and I sense he really cares for others. If you have "Baiters" in your life , you need to protect yourself. Unlike those of us who truly want good and happiness for others, they are self serving and dangerous to health and sometimes life.