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Life- You're Doing It Wrong: Why People Don't Get Better Results from Self-improvement... And What To Do about It Paperback – June 26, 2013
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About the Author
Dr. Robert Manis is currently Professor of Human Behavior at the College of Southern Nevada. Dr. Manis has published three books: The Marriage and Family Workbook (Allyn and Bacon, 2000), Challenge to Society (Pearson, 2001) and The Social Reality, (Sage/Hall Communications, 2005).
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Top customer reviews
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From Epictitus to Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Manis takes a deep look at what makes us happy and what doesn't. With wit, humor, humility, academic rigor and simple curiosity he takes us on an informative, enlightening and entertaining journey into the heart of what drives us. Brilliantly woven together with the history of Psychology, the latest research in Social Psychology, New Age spirituality and stories from his own life, this is a very honest look at how some of the most commonly held beliefs and practices lead us into self doubt and disappointment or shallow dismissiveness. When this happens we lose our opportunities to develop wisdom and compassion and our own unique take on life.
If affirmations bore or irritate you, if superficial pollyanna-types wear on you, this is a good read for you!
I highly recommend this book and am looking forward to more explorations from this authentic mind.
The book is really well-written, offering clear and precise insights and research into the self-help industry to properly outline the problems that are inherent in the system. It's an intelligent concept that makes you think, makes you work it out yourself rather than just going with the flow and doing what "normal" rather than what it natural for you. I found myself actually learning something new with this book and it surprised me in how much thoughtful words made me stop and think. Overall, it is a lot of great food for thought that just might prove helpful in that whole self-improvement thing.
This book dismantles, and ultimately transcends, typical contemporary thought on what makes us happy. It turns out gratitude exercises and secreting our hearts out just fuels a paradoxical pursuit that leaves us unhappy and dissatisfied, which is something many of us have already felt or are coming to an awareness of those disappointments. Manis helpfully guides us to turn our understanding of happiness into something that is more instructive to our daily lives and that resonates deeper.
This work challenged me to consider my relationship with suffering and discomfort, my tendencies toward comfort and to defining happiness on the simplest terms, and my habit of externalizing emotions. This is really useful, multi-disciplinary stuff, and much more able to be practically applied than vague or simplistic self-improvement systems. While it's worth reading cover-to-cover at first, because the understanding builds chapter by chapter, I think it will also serve me well as a guide to dip into from time to time. Lots of great thinking within this singular book.
He begins with first principles: the question: "what do we really know?" and answers we can be sure of only this: that we have thoughts and feelings. This tiny lever leads him into a fascinating discussion that is immensely clarifying about happiness and what it is and isn't. He then radically but not cynically takes apart the positive thinking movement, using the latest research to show why it fails precisely when we need it most. He compares the approaches of stoic philosophy and psychology and other new age thinking to show the strengths and weaknesses of each - Finally drawing in Viktor Frankl's studies of meaning, he manages to synthesize the lot as well as propose a solution for the very mechanism that causes positive thinking to fail.
The book is targeted to the intelligent but otherwise normal/average person who may not be well-versed in any one area, so it is easy to learn a few things in areas you may not know. It is also has a number of very practical hints that anyone can apply in real life.
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From Epictitus to Eckhart Tolle, Dr.Read more