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The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Paperback – January 13, 2015
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“Whether you wish to be better at sales, reading a room, or recruiting Soviet spies, Jack outlines the skills necessary to make you a better communicator at all levels. As a professional, I learned something new on almost every page that will help to influence others. You will find hundreds of tips and insights in this book that will be immensely useful in any business or social setting.” (Dr. Jim Reilly, former astronaut, Mach25Management)
"This practical and insightful guide to influencing people, based on behavioral analysis and hard-won experience at the FBI, is filled with dozens of useful tips and techniques that can be applied immediately. I enjoyed it and learned a lot!" (William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes and author of The Power of a Positive No)
About the Author
John R. “Jack” Schafer, PhD, is a psychologist, professor, intelligence consultant, and former FBI Special Agent. Dr. Schafer spent fifteen years conducting counter-intelligence and counterterrorism investigations, and seven years as a behavioral analyst for the FBI’s National Security Division’s Behavioral Analysis Program. He developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Dr. Schafer contributes online pieces for Psychology Today Magazine, has authored/coauthored six books, and has published numerous articles in professional and popular journals. He is a professor with the School of Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice at Western Illinois University.
Marvin Karlins received his PhD in Psychology from Princeton University and is currently Professor of Management at the University of South Florida’s College of Business Administration. Dr. Karlins consults internationally on issues of interpersonal effectiveness and has also authored twenty-four books, including two national bestsellers, What Every Body Is Saying and It’s a Jungle in There. He resides in Riverview, Florida, with his wife, Edyth, and daughter, Amber.
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Top Customer Reviews
I will tell you, I'm not good with this kind of thing, and friends who "get this" just make me sad. I guess I just have tolearn to do this the hard way, but these are skills you can learn.
This subject is interesting to me, and I'm putting his ideas to the test. I can see why I've had so many problems with people--I've been giving off "foe" signals instead of "friend" signals. For example; when I'm interested in what's being said, I furrow my brow. That can be construed as not believing or a not agreeing; when in fact, I am concentrating deeply.
Worth the read, but it's not a quick read. I'm going to have to learn it a piece at a time.
How to Win Friends is more of the anecdotal side of things, i.e. stories of people who applied the principles and had great results. This book however is more of the scientific side of things; the WHY it works.
The author draws from his years of professional experience in the FBI, which gives him immediate credibility and you can feel confident you are getting great and accurate information. Also, it's just freaking interesting! I couldn't put it down! Every page is filled with captivating information, stories, and illustrations that really help you understand the concepts in a fun way.
I highly recommend this book to anybody hoping to learn more about creating social interactions, building meaningful relationships, and as the title states, getting people to like you!
5 stars all the way!
The way the book is described it gives the impression that it's more of a how to book in order to get what you want from people, but it's really more of a, "Why won't this person talk to me?" Or, "Why do I have trouble making and/or keeping friends?" type of book. Yes, there are some parts that go into interviewing techniques, but anyone who has done an investigation or conducted hiring interviews might find these portions helpful as well. There are also many techniques shown that you can use to talk with someone about a controversial subject and still get heard.
I loved how the authors included pictures to explain some things like body language and what to look for. There are suggestions on what do do when dealing with anger and how to assess where to go in a heated conversation. There are even some sections that talk about verbal communication and non-verbal communication between couples, and about how to get your spouse to talk to you about a difficult subject so it's a win-win situation. There are references and resources at the end of the book so you can delve further into this subject matter if you want to. Overall, I found it to be a very helpful book.
After reading this book it became clear the problem lay in my inability to analyze my conversational conundrums. So desperate to convey to a potential mate the benefits of being with me, first dates were a peacock show on my end. The formula laid out in this book to develop meaningful relationships- be it friendships or romance - are wonderfully articulated with entertaining examples. In my own life they have proved exceptionally beneficial. They have helped me to pinpoint the types of people I want to get to know, and to a better extent who is simply not worth while. I have also noticed I seem to attract men of a higher caliber in droves whereas before interacting with me was literally birth control.
In short if you're like me and really don't know why people don't seem to like you-a beautiful overachiever -it's probably because you don't make people feel good about themselves. I moved to NYC 5years ago during this time I have experienced difficulty making friends, establishing meaningful connections, and perhaps most soul shattering of all attracting the opposite sex. However, that all changed for me and it could for you too! In sum, these techniques truly transform a dull or introverted or annoying person into a social butterfly.