- Paperback: 32 pages
- Publisher: Quincy Companion Books, imprint of Wyatt-MacKenzie; 1st edition (August 1, 2011)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1936214504
- ISBN-13: 978-1936214501
- Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 0.1 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 63 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #644,333 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Lily Hates Goodbyes (Navy Version) Paperback – August 1, 2011
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"I see hundreds of children's books a year, since I not only do reviews, I work in the industry. Lily Hates Goodbyes is as good as they get, on par with the best." --David Broughton
"This little book is a fine storybook for any child, but it is almost a mandatory library addition for parents in the military. Jerilyn Marler makes it easier to cope - for both child and at home parent!" --Grady Harp
"This is an outstanding story! ...You will love it. Best of all, you will appreciate it so much." --Biblio Reads Children's Book Review
"Jerilyn Marler's children's book, Lily Hates Goodbyes, is a must have for children with a parent in the military and also for elementary school counselors." -- Moments: Book Review
"Marler has created a special book that is guaranteed to help the families of the men and women who bravely and selflessly serve our country." -- Portland Book Review, 5-star review for Lily Hates Goodbyes
From the Author
I wrote this story for my (then) four-year-old granddaughter who was reeling from the pain of her Daddy's time away in the Navy. She was deep in denial about the scary feelings, yet her behavior clearly showed that she was in turmoil. She would run from the room instead of talk about feelings. So I wrote Lily Hates Goodbyes to give us a "third person" to talk about. Book Lily was mad. Book Lily was sad. Suddenly it wasn't so scary for Real Lily to talk about those feelings. She asked me to read the book to her over and over. She even wanted me to sing it to her.
The result is exactly what I hoped for: Lily's more at ease with her emotions, knows what she can do when she feels them, knows that it's safe to say whatever she feels, knows that her Mommy will be there steadfastly and lovingly by her side through it all, and that there is a joyful reunion coming with her Daddy.
I fervently hope that this book will help your child through the long, difficult separations, too.
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Lily hates goodbyes.
Sometimes she feels mean and stubborn while Daddy is gone.
She says naughty things and yells
"No!" at Mommy even when
Mommy is right.
Mommy says it's okay.
She feels stubborn, too.
Lily and Mommy try not to be stubborn at the same time.
Mommy says it helps when Lily gives her a big hug.
So now my daughter seems to think its okay to yell at me when she gets angry about Daddy being gone because Lily did to her mom and her mom said its okay because she feels that way too... Ehhh no, not in my house. I've expressed to my daughter that its okay to feel all different ways and to express your feelings, but when you feel angry or super sad that you need to talk to mommy and let mommy help. When we're angry in our house we do productive stuff like arts and crafts or go in the back yard and play soccer or t-ball... Not yelling. If that one part in the book was different I would have given it 5 stars. IMO something better to put would have been along the lines of its okay to feel that way but we don't say naughty things or yell, Instead lets _____ <-- something else other than its okay to yell at mom.
My daughter is going through her father's second deployment since getting this book (first when she was two, second now that she is three) and it has been helpful both times. When she was two, it helped her identify feelings like missing her father and joy at his homecoming. Now that she is three, it has helped in a very different way-- it taught her positive coping strategies and showed her how to work through negative emotions by doing things like taking deep breaths and talking to her mother about how she is feeling. My daughter used these behaviors to help her process the separation.
We also created a "Memories for Daddy box", similar to Lily's, where my daughter puts various mementos and drawings that she does when she is upset about missing her dad and needs to "color her feelings". This deployment has been extremely difficult for her emotionally and this book has been an invaluable resource for us. I would definitely recommend this book to other military families, particularly Navy families dealing with ship deployments.
As a side note, I see some reviewers were dismayed by the illustrations portraying a Naval officer rather than an enlisted sailor, but this book was written about a real little girl and her experience during her father's deployment and her father likely happened to be a commissioned officer. Small children, who are the intended audience for this book, are very unlikely to care about the rank of the individuals depicted in the book-- what they care about is Lily's family unit. I certainly don't feel that the depiction of Lily's father as an officer prevented my daughter's ability to relate to Lily whatsoever, even though my husband is an enlisted sailor.
This was a gift for my daughter whose father will be deploying I'm one weeks time. I am extremely disappointed.I live way out in the country and its a HUGE inconvenience now to have to figure out where to print the label off and have to buy another envelope to ship it back.