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The "Listen here, Versace, ... you don't have to see me" line may be too strong


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Initial post: Jan 15, 2010, 8:23:10 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 15, 2010, 8:26:12 AM PST
In the following example as mention in the first chapter of the book, I do find the woman too strong:

Quoted: Kara is a perfect example of why smart, confident women come out on top. Very early on, her fiancé tried to give her his two cents on how she should dress. She was leaving for a meeting, and he told her to wear a dress instead of the pantsuit she had on. Then he told her she was wearing too much makeup. What the nice girl would have done is run out and buy a new wardrobe. But Kara playfully put him in check: "Listen here, Versace. This outfit has always been fine. And I haven't had any complaints about the makeup either. But if you'd like, I'll let you know when I'm wearing this in advance. That way, if you don't want to see me in it, you don't have to come over."

I would have considered dumping her because she sounded sarcastic when she said "Versace" and sounded egoistic and arrogant when she said "you don't have to come over". She sounded like she doesn't like the guy at all by saying "you don't have to come over."

Also, when she says, "I haven't had any complaints either", it was like, "other people think it is ok, so your opinion doesn't count."

Are there softer yet confident ways to state it?

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 15, 2010, 4:05:37 AM PST
S. Pierce says:
Yes I thought the same thing... Overall the book is enormously helpful, but this line smacks of being a smart a** ya know? I find guys generally don't take well to that, no more than a woman would. It would be better to just say "well hey, everyone's entitled to an opinion, but I like the things I do to make myself look better, so I just think for my own sense of confidence, I'll keep it up. " Then give a big smile and say "but thanks for your input , it's good to know that you have your own opinions... I respect that in a guy.

Bam.. end of convo. ( With a big warm smile) . This tells him you are doing it for you but you are hearing him, with no judgement on his point of view. That's not bowing down, you're still gonna do it, you just said it without all the arrogance, which I find men really, really dislike, ( as we women do too !)
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Initial post:  Jan 15, 2010
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