Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $3.99 shipping
+ $3.99 shipping
+ $7.77 shipping
Living Two Lives: Married to a Man & In Love with a Woman Paperback – November 20, 2012
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
Customers who viewed this item also viewed
About the Author
Joanne Fleisher is a lifelong resident of Philadelphia. She is a graduate of Simmons College and of the Bryn Mawr Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research. She developed the Web site LavenderVisions.com, an online counseling resource for women all over the world, and moderates Ask Joanne, a Q&A board exclusively for married women attracted to women. She and her partner of 30 years co-parented her daughters with her ex-husband, and have shared the joys of their four grandchildren.
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
Fortunately Ms Fleisher is no in need of federal funding.
Dr. John Jay Harper is author of Tranceformers: Shamans of the 21st Century
This is a gentle and honest book for self-inquiry for those women who are married and questioning their sexual identity. It helps you to sort out the myriad of complex feelings that ensue when you are in love with another woman, wish you were in love with another woman, wonder if what's wrong with your marriage is that you really belong with a woman, and more. In this sorting out, the author is kind and non-judgmental of diverse beliefs, and does not have an agenda---feminist or otherwise---in the courses of action that would be best for the reader; instead she helps you to find the answers that are right for you.
The book facilitates this self-searching by a terrific format. It is organized into chapters by topic, including: questioning, finding your sexual identity, examining your marriage, husbands' responses, managing the roller coaster, girlfriends, helping your children, and support. The chapters are full of gentle questioning and supportive ways of dealing with what is inevitably a difficult time in a woman's life, no matter what the outcome.
Then, at the end of each chapter, there is a section called "What You Can Do Now"---simple actions that you really can do, even if you're uncertain and up-in-the-air about so much else. Each of these action sections is broken up into several parts like:
"Remind yourself..." (with good things to remind yourself of---for example, "Self-understanding is not a linear process. I may take one step backward for every two steps forward."),
"Ask yourself this question..." (a thought-provoking question related to the chapter topic---for example, "What messages about sexuality, direct or covert, did I get from my parents, teachers, clergy, friends? And which do I continue to hold inside me?"),
"Practice this technique for handling your feelings..." (a do-able and helpful coping technique---for example, keeping your focus on staying in the present), and
"Take one step..." (a concrete action step that you can take, as opposed to one that you are unsure about---for example, making a timeline of the key sexual events in your life and how they shaped your thoughts about your sexuality).
These action sections help you on what is a lengthy and patient journey.
The book helps you to realize that you are not alone, that other women have been where you are. It does not sugar-coat the process of exploring your sexual identity, however. It is realistic and presents the difficulties and potential costs as well as the benefits of such a journey. The biggest gift this book gave me is that it helped me to not feel so scared---as do most women when thinking about huge life changes. It helped me to see that I would be okay no matter what choices my future held.
It is also an excellent book to be read not only by the woman who is questioning her sexuality, but by the woman's husband, girlfriend, adult children, or those who simply wish to understand this difficult process that is so seldom written about in such a sensitive way. Highly recommended.