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How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies Paperback – July 18, 1991

by Therese A. Rando (Author)

224 customer reviews

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An inspiring guide to help you through the mourning process.

Mourning the death of a loved one is a process all of us will go through at one time or another. But wherever the death is sudden or anticipated, few of us are prepared for it or for the grief it brings. There is no right or wrong way to grieve;  each person's response to loss will be different. Now, in this compassionate, comprehensive guide, Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., bereavement specialist and  author of Loss And Anticipatory Grief, leads you gently through the painful but necessary process of grieving and helps you find the best way for yourself.

Whether  the death was sudden of expected, from accident, illness, suicide, homicide, or natural causes, Dr. Rando will help you learn  to:

Understand and resolve your grief.
Talk to children about death.
Resolve unfinished business.
Take care of yourself.
Accept the help  and support of others.
Get through  holidays and other difficult times of the year.
Plan funerals and personal bereavement rituals.

How To Go On  Living With Someone You Love Dies also includes a comprehensive resource listing and a  chapter on finding professional help and support groups.

There is no way around the pain of loss, but there is a way through it. Dr.  Rando offers the solace, comfort, and guidance to help you accept your loss and move into your new life without forgetting your treasured  past.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Dr. Rando's book should help anyone who has survived the pain of this kind of loss and is trying to adjust to a new world without his loved one."--Art Linkletter

From the Publisher

"Mourning the death of a loved one is a process all of us will go through at one time or another. But wherever the death is sudden or anticipated, few of us are prepared for it or for the grief it brings. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; each person's response to loss will be different. Now, in this compassionate, comprehensive guide, Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., bereavement specialist and author of Loss And Anticipatory Grief, leads you gently through the painful but necessary process of grieving and helps you find the best way for yourself.

Whether the death was sudden of expected, from accident, illness, suicide, homicide, or natural causes, Dr. Rando will help you learn to:

Understand and resolve your grief.

Talk to children about death.

Resolve unfinished business.

Take care of yourself.

Accept the help and support of others.

Get through holidays and other difficult times of the year.

Plan funerals and personal bereavement rituals.

How To Go On Living With Someone You Love Dies also includes a comprehensive resource listing and a chapter on finding professional help and support groups.

There is no way around the pain of loss, but there is a way through it. Dr. Rando offers the solace, comfort, and guidance to help you accept your loss and move into your new life without forgetting your treasured past.

"Dr. Rando's book should help anyone ho has survived the pain of this kind of loss and is trying to adjust to a new world without his loved one."--Art Linkletter

See all Editorial Reviews

Product details

Paperback: 338 pages
Publisher: Bantam; Reprint edition (July 18, 1991)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0553352695
ISBN-13: 978-0553352696
Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 224 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #38,442 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #115 in Books > Self-Help > Death & Grief > Grief & Bereavement
- #174 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Love & Loss
- #1093 in Books > Self-Help > Motivational

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A.J.

If you don't have a good support system in place at work or home you ...

July 31, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I lost my dad on Jan. 30th 2016 and my mom on Feb. 13th 2016. Although both were older and I knew death comes to all, I was not expecting it the way I had pictured it. Life and death has it's own time table. The book helped not only me but my daughter, whom my mom helped raise. The sudden loss of both left a huge hole in our lives and we had very little support except each other. I went back to work while trying to handle the estate, thinking that I was doing well. If you don't have a good support system in place at work or home you will crash at some point. As much as others expect us to "move" on, we need to allow ourselves as much time as needed. How to go on Living gives us the permission and guide lines to keep going and to heal in our own time.
My heart goes out to all of you that's lost a love one and is looking for help.

17 people found this helpful

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This book helped me feel less alone and crazy after my father and bff died

February 26, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book has helped me tremendously after the death of my father and my best friend (within 6 months of one another). When you lose someone so important to you, you don't always react in ways that make sense, and if you're surrounded by people who haven't lost anyone close to them, it feels incredibly lonely. Friends can make you feel like crap without meaning to simply because they have no idea what is happening inside of you. One friend said "Oh, you're still upset about that?" when I said something about not being ready for some event 3 months after my best friend died. I had one person compare the death of her cat to the death of my dad, as if it were the same thing. I've lost a cat before, and that hurt really bad- lots of tears, but I cannot tell you how much worse losing someone who gave you their lifeblood hurts. It is incomparable. The fact no one around understood what it was like made me feel incredibly alone and bitter, so I withdrew from my circle of friends, thinking there must be something wrong with me. This book really helped me feel less alone. It explained how grief differs for everyone, ways to recognize a grief reaction versus a normal reaction, and gave examples of situations. It also helped me feel more sympathetic towards my friends and people around me who hadn't experienced that kind of loss. It provides a larger perspective that is often difficult to maintain during moments of heavy grieving. I highly recommend this book.

14 people found this helpful

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BobCee

Fine Book on Loss and Grief

April 20, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Very comprehensive, covering many different types of loss (spouse, parent, child, etc.). Good sections on explaining loss to children, sudden loss vs. expected loss, the affects of grief, personal expectations about healing, sources of support, communicating feelings, resolving grief, funerals and bereavement rituals, etc. Found it most valuable because it's rich with detail about the complex ways in which loss can take its toll upon us, often without us realizing. If we can understand these complexities and our own expectations, we can begin to cope in constructive ways. Wish the book had more detailed information about filling the void left by the loss of a loved one. Though the book provides a number of suggestions, I realize that loss is an intensely personal journey, and filling that void is part of the work of coming to terms with loss.

One person found this helpful

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K. Huggs

Excellent info but not very practical.

January 2, 2013

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Therese Rando has been a major figure in the field of counseling the grief-stricken and much of her work is scholarly. She wrote this book for a general audience and it sums up just about everything that she has studied and written about as a professional.

This field is extremely complex, many factors influencing the nature of the grief. The type of death, sudden, violent, long-expected; the age and relationship of the deceased, juvenile child, adult child, parent, sibling, friend, etc.; the quality of relationship between the deceased and bereaved; the age of the bereaved, and so on. Rando covers just about every base so there is something here for just about everyone.

I give the book four stars because it may not be as helpful for one who is the worst throes of grief and looking for help. For one reason, while they can probably find their type of situation discussed, because of the scope of the book, it may not be discussed in great depth. Secondly, the book is mostly expository discussion, and does not have a lot of suggestions for how the bereaved can cope and work toward reconciliation with their loss. There are other books, such as those by Alan Wolfelt, that are more oriented toward practical application.

Rando does include an excellent chapter on finding professional help and support groups. She also has an extensive list of resources, supportive organization, agencies, and books. However, this edition of the book was published in 1991 and there is a lot that has been written and done since then on working through grief.

Rando is to be commended for being a pioneer in the study of how best to help the bereaved. Her thinking is sound and this book is well-written. However, if you get it for yourself or someone you know who is suffering, I'd include Alan Wolfelt's "Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones".

11 people found this helpful

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Judith H.

that I felt like Ms. Rando (the author) was writing directly to ...

July 4, 2015

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book is absolutely outstanding in every way! It is so specific,so accurate and complete, that I felt like Ms. Rando (the author) was writing
directly to me. I have read many many books about grief over the years, especially after my husband died. This one is by far the best, explaining
every aspect of the grief in depth as only a professional person can explain it. Then it tells you how to learn to live with the loss you have suffered
and move on with your life while not forgetting your deceased loved one. Although Elisabeth Kubler Ross is world famous for her books about losing
loved ones, I must tell you that this book is an absolute "must read" for anyone struggling with the agony of losing a special someone in his or her
life. It will both guide you and comfort you as you learn to understand the many facets of grieving.

3 people found this helpful

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