I had the privilege of meeting Dr. Cacioppo and his lovely wife a few years ago at a lecture he gave at Baldwin Wallace University in Berea Ohio. He was an intelligent, caring person. His book documents his life's work on loneliness. The book is part of his legacy. He past away earlier this month. The book reveals the all too often hidden devastating effects that loneliness has on people who is chronically alone. It demonstrates how being alone can lead to aging and declining health. Quoting Dr. Cacciopo from his book "Loneliness": The data tell us that loneliness seriously accelerates age-related declines in health and well-being, yet the idea of promoting connection is rarely discussed alongside the heated issues of the cost of pharmaceuticals and other medical interventions necessary to deal with an increasingly lonely, isolated, and agin population."
He adds: "Given the statistical impact of loneliness, if its effects were caused by an impurityin our air or water, perhaps now there would be congressional hearings on how to reduce it. Perhaps we can hope for a similar awakening to the idea, grounded in rigorous science, that restorning bonds among people can be cost-effective and practical point of leverage for solving some of our most pressing social problems, not the least of which is the looming crisis in health care and eldercare."
Dr. Cacioppo points out the need for a place for people to gather and demonstrates how places of faith worship have fulfilled that need in the past. "The type of Christianity tht went on to become the primary structural element of the Western world focused on a simple message of self-esteem - "The kingdom of God is within you" -- combined with communal meals and even communal living. Its streamlined theology set aside the complex cleansing rituals of Judaism, and it presented evil less in mystical terms and more as a question of the behavior of one person toward another. The church that survived and prospered extended the basic ethics of the Hebrew tradition -- already a strong source of social support -- explicitly into the individual's inner life, creating a prohibitions against mere thoughts that were harmful to social connections: anger, hatred, misdirected lust. It dispensed with the temple in Jerusalem as the center of religious life, but maintained rituals to sanctify the basic elements of ordinary human existence: reproduction (marriage), birth (baptism), illness (anointment), and death (last rites). By way of these ceremonies it provided guidelines for social connection throughout the life cycle, making this universal church a practical social convention; It offered self-worth, it buried the dead, and it provided for the poor. Like Judaism, Islam, Confucianism and Buddhism, Christianity regulated all social transactions with the community, ranging from relationships within marriage and the family to standards for conducting business and dealing with neighbors."
Social connections are life saving connections. When we gather with our family, friends and neighbors, we produce the "happiness hormone" Oxcytocin. When we are isolated, when we move far away from family, when we begin to age and lose the close contact with our children our friends, when we stop going to church because the beliefs we once held are no longer relevant to us, is when we begin our own decline. We need other people in our lives. It's as important to have people who care about us and who we care about as it is to have the very oxygen we breath in the air.
I am a technology buff. I love my Apple devices. However, after reading Loneliness, I have awakened my appreciation of and my awareness for the need to put those amazing devices in their separate compartments in my life. If we do not break the hold technology has on the majority of people today, we will suffer the coming consequences of being Avatar's instead of human beings.
I love and appreciate Dr. Cacioppo's work on loneliness. It's a topic all too often not only disregarded in todays fast paced society but an aspect of life that has faded into the background of the screens of our devices. We no longer sit on a porch on a warm summer evening sharing a cool drink or a beer with a couple of neighbors while the children play around us. We are all too busy checking our devices, making comments on Facebook, or playing video games. As Dr. Caccioppo points out people need real people in front of them - talking, laughing, sharing, learning from each other. We need to see their faces, feel their emotions, read their body language and feel their touch. Emoticon's are a very poor attempt to replace actual living human beings in our lives.
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Stone Letters let us know we are loved more than we are aware
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2018
Solitude is a conscious choice.Loneliness is perception which may aggravate or precipitate actual disease, pathology of the body, not just illness, a perception of dysfunction.It's All in Your Head: True Stories of Imaginary Illness Suzanne O'SullivanNational Geographic: Stress - Portrait of a Killer documentary research on impact of stress on healthHealing & the Mind (Programs 1-5) Bill Moyers 5 episodes Tai Chi meditation David Eisenberg MD, MBSR mindfulness based stress reduction for Chronic Pain Jon Kabat Zinn 8 week 2.5 hour/week class followed on camera with participant reactions in class and at home, metastatic breast cancer David Spiegel MD, Commonweal hospice care Rachel Remen MD author ofKitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, 10th Anniversary Edition remarkable PBS series on how what we THINK can alter how we FEEL, the basis of CBT cognitive behavioral therapyDeveloping Resilience: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach Michael Neenan British approach to CBTDhamma Brothers documentary the opportunity to join with others to learn emotional self regulation, pause, reflect, contemplate may offer respite from self doubt, 10 day meditation training, years later follow up at Alabama Maximum Security Prison DonaldsonRenaissance Man Danny DeVito Gregory Hines comedy about joining the Army in order to discover yourself, learning to readHenry V Act IV ... We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. ShakespeareDepartures Oscar Best Foreign film English subtitles, overcoming abandonment age 6, growing up thinking of oneself as unlovable, trying to please absent parent, losing job, spouse walking out, gathering together a circle of caring, a surrogate family of mentor employer, bath house owner and her friend, finally learning through ritual meditation and a Stone Letter the meaning of forgiveness. Lyrical cello music background.Loneliness is a unique perception of an individual where human contact and feeling of being cared for are out of synchrony.My personal bias is that loneliness may be the only illness. Many desire more attention and caring than are available from their chosen network of social support. Perhaps we need more love than we deserve. The only answer must be found within the self for what to do about a perception of loneliness. Hatred is loneliness, envy, and fear of the unfamiliar.Lost Horizon Ronald Coleman Jane Wyatt black and white 1937, commentary by restorer who has been attempting to gather bits and pieces of the original film since 1975, based onLost Horizon: A Novel James Hilton 1933 discovering Paradise as you imagine it Shangrila, description of Bhutan the last Buddhist Kingdom in the high Himalaya, refueling at Dhaka Bangladesh in case wind shears prevent landing at Paro and with to return to Dhaka.Once my dad took me to Cambridge to visit the haunts of his adolescence. A man suddenly drove up, jumped out of his car in the middle of a work day and approached us: Do you remember me? my dad did not. I was the 5 year old who trailed behind you everywhere. You gave me a nickel so I could have a treat. You told me: go to school, get a job, save money, buy a house, then get married. Never smoke or drink. When I heard you were in town I had to leave work in order to tell you I did what you told me. I'm getting married soon. The young man hugged my dad and dad looked perplexed. He could not associate this grown man with a 5 year old given a throw away comment so many years ago.Never underestimate the impact that your mere existence can have on another human being.There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember Fred RogersMister Rogers' Neighborhood: It's a Beautiful Day.Maybe life isn't transactional, measuring what we get for what we give. Maybe we all gain just a little from being a bit more kind and sharing our life wisdom with those who need our kindness.5* Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection Cacioppo
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2018
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Loneliness is a voice that is crying in the wilderness. We all need to hear and heed that cry. Human connection is vital!
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 24, 2018Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 16, 2018
Loneliness is perception which may aggravate or precipitate actual disease, pathology of the body, not just illness, a perception of dysfunction.
[[ASIN:0099597853 It's All in Your Head: True Stories of Imaginary Illness]] Suzanne O'Sullivan
[[ASIN:B001D7T460 National Geographic: Stress - Portrait of a Killer]] documentary research on impact of stress on health
[[ASIN:B001PQ5BTS Healing & the Mind (Programs 1-5)]] Bill Moyers 5 episodes Tai Chi meditation David Eisenberg MD, MBSR mindfulness based stress reduction for Chronic Pain Jon Kabat Zinn 8 week 2.5 hour/week class followed on camera with participant reactions in class and at home, metastatic breast cancer David Spiegel MD, Commonweal hospice care Rachel Remen MD author of
[[ASIN:1594482098 Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, 10th Anniversary Edition]] remarkable PBS series on how what we THINK can alter how we FEEL, the basis of CBT cognitive behavioral therapy
[[ASIN:041548068X Developing Resilience: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach]] Michael Neenan British approach to CBT
[[ASIN:B0040J1RZO Dhamma Brothers]] documentary the opportunity to join with others to learn emotional self regulation, pause, reflect, contemplate may offer respite from self doubt, 10 day meditation training, years later follow up at Alabama Maximum Security Prison Donaldson
[[ASIN:B00008L3S9 Renaissance Man]] Danny DeVito Gregory Hines comedy about joining the Army in order to discover yourself, learning to read
[[ASIN:079284615X Henry V]] Act IV ... We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. Shakespeare
[[ASIN:B002SF9YNO Departures]] Oscar Best Foreign film English subtitles, overcoming abandonment age 6, growing up thinking of oneself as unlovable, trying to please absent parent, losing job, spouse walking out, gathering together a circle of caring, a surrogate family of mentor employer, bath house owner and her friend, finally learning through ritual meditation and a Stone Letter the meaning of forgiveness. Lyrical cello music background.
Loneliness is a unique perception of an individual where human contact and feeling of being cared for are out of synchrony.
My personal bias is that loneliness may be the only illness. Many desire more attention and caring than are available from their chosen network of social support. Perhaps we need more love than we deserve. The only answer must be found within the self for what to do about a perception of loneliness. Hatred is loneliness, envy, and fear of the unfamiliar.
[[ASIN:6305416222 Lost Horizon]] Ronald Coleman Jane Wyatt black and white 1937, commentary by restorer who has been attempting to gather bits and pieces of the original film since 1975, based on
[[ASIN:0062113720 Lost Horizon: A Novel]] James Hilton 1933 discovering Paradise as you imagine it Shangrila, description of Bhutan the last Buddhist Kingdom in the high Himalaya, refueling at Dhaka Bangladesh in case wind shears prevent landing at Paro and with to return to Dhaka.
Once my dad took me to Cambridge to visit the haunts of his adolescence. A man suddenly drove up, jumped out of his car in the middle of a work day and approached us: Do you remember me? my dad did not. I was the 5 year old who trailed behind you everywhere. You gave me a nickel so I could have a treat. You told me: go to school, get a job, save money, buy a house, then get married. Never smoke or drink. When I heard you were in town I had to leave work in order to tell you I did what you told me. I'm getting married soon. The young man hugged my dad and dad looked perplexed. He could not associate this grown man with a 5 year old given a throw away comment so many years ago.
Never underestimate the impact that your mere existence can have on another human being.
There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
[[ASIN:1401301061 The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember]] Fred Rogers
[[ASIN:B07896QSFC Mister Rogers' Neighborhood: It's a Beautiful Day]].
Maybe life isn't transactional, measuring what we get for what we give. Maybe we all gain just a little from being a bit more kind and sharing our life wisdom with those who need our kindness.
5* [[ASIN:0393335283 Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection]] Cacioppo
Stone Letters let us know we are loved more than we are aware
By Sakuteiki on July 16, 2018
Solitude is a conscious choice.By Sakuteiki on July 16, 2018
Loneliness is perception which may aggravate or precipitate actual disease, pathology of the body, not just illness, a perception of dysfunction.
[[ASIN:0099597853 It's All in Your Head: True Stories of Imaginary Illness]] Suzanne O'Sullivan
[[ASIN:B001D7T460 National Geographic: Stress - Portrait of a Killer]] documentary research on impact of stress on health
[[ASIN:B001PQ5BTS Healing & the Mind (Programs 1-5)]] Bill Moyers 5 episodes Tai Chi meditation David Eisenberg MD, MBSR mindfulness based stress reduction for Chronic Pain Jon Kabat Zinn 8 week 2.5 hour/week class followed on camera with participant reactions in class and at home, metastatic breast cancer David Spiegel MD, Commonweal hospice care Rachel Remen MD author of
[[ASIN:1594482098 Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, 10th Anniversary Edition]] remarkable PBS series on how what we THINK can alter how we FEEL, the basis of CBT cognitive behavioral therapy
[[ASIN:041548068X Developing Resilience: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach]] Michael Neenan British approach to CBT
[[ASIN:B0040J1RZO Dhamma Brothers]] documentary the opportunity to join with others to learn emotional self regulation, pause, reflect, contemplate may offer respite from self doubt, 10 day meditation training, years later follow up at Alabama Maximum Security Prison Donaldson
[[ASIN:B00008L3S9 Renaissance Man]] Danny DeVito Gregory Hines comedy about joining the Army in order to discover yourself, learning to read
[[ASIN:079284615X Henry V]] Act IV ... We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. Shakespeare
[[ASIN:B002SF9YNO Departures]] Oscar Best Foreign film English subtitles, overcoming abandonment age 6, growing up thinking of oneself as unlovable, trying to please absent parent, losing job, spouse walking out, gathering together a circle of caring, a surrogate family of mentor employer, bath house owner and her friend, finally learning through ritual meditation and a Stone Letter the meaning of forgiveness. Lyrical cello music background.
Loneliness is a unique perception of an individual where human contact and feeling of being cared for are out of synchrony.
My personal bias is that loneliness may be the only illness. Many desire more attention and caring than are available from their chosen network of social support. Perhaps we need more love than we deserve. The only answer must be found within the self for what to do about a perception of loneliness. Hatred is loneliness, envy, and fear of the unfamiliar.
[[ASIN:6305416222 Lost Horizon]] Ronald Coleman Jane Wyatt black and white 1937, commentary by restorer who has been attempting to gather bits and pieces of the original film since 1975, based on
[[ASIN:0062113720 Lost Horizon: A Novel]] James Hilton 1933 discovering Paradise as you imagine it Shangrila, description of Bhutan the last Buddhist Kingdom in the high Himalaya, refueling at Dhaka Bangladesh in case wind shears prevent landing at Paro and with to return to Dhaka.
Once my dad took me to Cambridge to visit the haunts of his adolescence. A man suddenly drove up, jumped out of his car in the middle of a work day and approached us: Do you remember me? my dad did not. I was the 5 year old who trailed behind you everywhere. You gave me a nickel so I could have a treat. You told me: go to school, get a job, save money, buy a house, then get married. Never smoke or drink. When I heard you were in town I had to leave work in order to tell you I did what you told me. I'm getting married soon. The young man hugged my dad and dad looked perplexed. He could not associate this grown man with a 5 year old given a throw away comment so many years ago.
Never underestimate the impact that your mere existence can have on another human being.
There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
[[ASIN:1401301061 The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember]] Fred Rogers
[[ASIN:B07896QSFC Mister Rogers' Neighborhood: It's a Beautiful Day]].
Maybe life isn't transactional, measuring what we get for what we give. Maybe we all gain just a little from being a bit more kind and sharing our life wisdom with those who need our kindness.
5* [[ASIN:0393335283 Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection]] Cacioppo
Images in this review
Top reviews from other countries
Daniela. G.
No man is an island
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 28, 2016
John Morgan
If you consider yourself lonely or not, this is well worth a read.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on April 16, 2014Alex
Quality of the print is awful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on November 24, 2020
