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Longing for You: Steamy Second Chance Romance (Touched by Magic Book 1) Kindle Edition
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Top customer reviews
"The last thing she needed was the shopkeeper to think she was some nut job who'd wandered in from the street. Then he or she would call the cops and Cassie would up spending her free time convincing the police she wasn't insane." Apparently laughing to yourself is an offense for which you can be hauled in for questioning?
Later, same shop.
"She [owner] looked as though she were waiting for the rest of the explanation, and rightly so... She had a right to know if Cassie was there to make a purchase or if she was up to no good... Besides, it would be rude not to explain her presence." To a shopkeeper. Sure, I always do that. Because they don't expect you to, you know, browse or anything.
Cassie: "I love this song." In the next sentence she says she's never heard it - or the band - before.
And on to the word choices:
"... he bit the inside of his jaw." ???
"Jonah REFACED him." This one was used repeatedly and pictures of wood veneer popped up in my head every time.
"... it was long enough to reveal his CONFLICTION."
"Her sister must have noticed her OGLING her [female] friend..." Not gay, so...
"He passed the pool tables... and SUBMERGED into a new crowd."
"His departure INCITED a fire in Theo..."
"While he busied himself with the items STRUNG across the bed..."
Lots more, but you get the idea.
I didn't even count the ones that spellcheck didn't catch: brooch/broach, airways/air waves, jive/jibe, ridged/rigid, diffuse/defuse, every day/everyday. Authors, please, don't rely on spellcheck. It's not that dependable.
If this sounds too picky, let me point out that it's an author's job to understand language, inside and out. Every time we're pulled out of the story, we aren't living in the world they've created for us. If you aren't bothered by word choices like the ones I pointed out, you may love this story. I couldn't get past them, and it was a DNF (Did Not Finish) for me.
I'd be happy to review if this was re-edited, but as it stands: 1 star
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