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How To Lose Control And Gain Emotional Freedom: Embracing the "Dark" Emotions Through Integrative Mindful Exposure Paperback – September 6, 2012

4.9 out of 5 stars 9 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Combining basic principles of classical psychology with Eastern-based religious philosophies, Duvinsky provides an interesting approach to healthy living. Duvinsky combines various elements of psychology, Buddhist teachings and even components of martial arts to form a treatment that he claims can promote physical and mental well-being. The author contends that the human desire to control situations and emotions engenders most common psychological issues. His process to avoid this psychological unease involves imagining losing control and allowing the resulting emotions to emerge unchecked. The book is written for the layperson, but without familiarity with the terms used in the book, the text can quickly become confusing. Fortunately, the guide begins with a glossary. Each chapter describes a particular problem—control, fear, anger, shame, the last a construct not often mentioned by therapists—and presents topical case studies. Every chapter provides concrete exercises, allowing the reader to put theory into practice. The case studies are of particular note, providing insight and clarity to the author’s methodologies. They are also entertaining. When a professor, suffering from a fear of public speaking came to the author. His dilemma was traced back to an incident in his childhood when he was forced to push a wheelbarrow of pig manure through his village. By reliving this event in exquisite detail and facing his fear and shame, he was finally able to rid himself of it. Throughout the book, the author quotes from and explains how his methods derive from various psychological constructs and belief systems. Educates and entertains via psychological insight and sardonic humor. -Kirkus Indie

About the Author

Born and raised in the Bronx, New York, Jerry D. Duvinsky earned his doctorate in clinical psychology from Binghamton University. He was commissioned to coordinate a new behavioral medicine program at the West Los Angeles Veteran Affairs Medical Center. For much of his career, he has served at a private multidisciplinary behavioral health center which he cofounded and where he continues his practice. He also provides clinical supervision for psychology graduate students at Binghamton University. He has published original research and for many years he also was a reviewer for the American Journal of Psychiatry. A longtime student of Buddhist philosophy and Eastern meditation practices, he holds a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He is married with four children.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 206 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (September 6, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 147814498X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1478144984
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,415,033 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This is not a self-help book. This book will not seduce the curious reader with a quick-fix formula to relief or identity. Dr. Duvinsky offers a simple yet radical approach to health and well-being based on the foundational studies of psychology conducted in the 20th century. The book itself is a pleasure to read: challenging the reader with concrete exercises, providing gentle motivation and guidance based on sardonic humor and the telling `success' stories of former clients. Both the trained clinician and struggling `client' will take with them a better sense of themselves, humanity, and means of actively engaging in life. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and return to it often for encouragement and support.
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In "Ordinary People", a hugely popular Oscar-winning movie in the 80ies, the main character asks his therapist to help him be "more in control". This was also my goal when I entered therapy. I wanted to shut out my negative feelings or, at the very least, assume a Stoic attitude: look cool on the outside even when boiling inside. This did not work for me. It did not make me feel either secure or free. The seemingly much more `dangerous' alternative, less control, the holding of negative feelings, and a willing proximity to possible pain has been difficult but much more liberating. In my view, this is an honest book with an effective message written by a wonderful therapist.
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Format: Paperback
I am a graduate student working on my MSW, as well as a patient receiving clinical therapy for issues of depression and anxiety. I found this book to be remarkable in that it can be used by practicing clinicians to enhance their therapeutic skills, and at the same time is extremely useful for an individual seeking a path to internal peace. The author does a great job of making the topic easy to understand for anybody, whether they have had experience in therapy or not. The techniques he provides are explained fully and very beneficial. I have also found that, as a result of reading this book, it is influencing me as a father of a young daughter. I am more aware of how she perceives the world and how the things that I say when she's experiencing emotions effect the way she learns to deal or not deal with emotions, and what I can do to prevent issues from developing later on in her life. A very well written and insightful book that can help all those who read it.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This work has given me insight as to why my anxiety is provoked and how I can stop "fighting to control it" and accept it.

Written as an easy read, he provides an efficient tool that can be used to supplement therapy or as a self therapy in itself.

I recommend for anyone who seeks answers for those internal conflicts that affect their daily lives.
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Format: Paperback
This book delves into the heart of what so many of us grapple with--how to be open to experiencing the full range of human emotions, as I've learned you can't selectively filter what you'll let yourself experience. If you don't let yourself experience deep shame or fear, neither will you experience great joy or bliss. There was so much in the book that resonated with me--the idea of Pandora's box, that if you open your own lid all manner of your demons will fly out and you'll never close it up again and will always be troubled by its contents. And I have found the contrary to be true. Once I finally found the courage to open my own lid, I felt ... lighter. And like the author, I was struck as a young girl when Kennedy was shot and his widowed wife was universally praised for being stoic. As portrayed in the media, controlling her emotions at this time of utmost personal and national grief was the ultimate to aspire to, and yet even as a child I was troubled by this. Why wasn't it okay for one to cry, to wail, and then to gradually come to terms and move on? Often with wit, always with penetrating insight, Jerry Duvinsky helps show us many ways to go deep and feel whole.
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