- Hardcover: 304 pages
- Publisher: Harper; First Printing edition (February 24, 2009)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0061626813
- ISBN-13: 978-0061626814
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
- Average Customer Review: 129 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,047,869 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Losing My Religion: How I Lost My Faith Reporting on Religion in America and Found Unexpected Peace Hardcover – February 24, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
A former religion reporter for the Los Angeles Times, Lobdell recounts in this plainly written memoir how he became a Protestant evangelical, nearly accepted Catholicism and, in the end, rejected faith altogether. Central to the arc of this memoir is the unfolding sexual abuse scandal in the Roman Catholic Church, which Lobdell covered in depth during his time as a religion reporter, beginning in 2000. Despairing of the role of priests and bishops in that scandal, he refashions his identity as a crusading reporter out to cleanse the church of corrupt leaders. But after finding that his investigative stories about faith healer Benny Hinn and televangelists Jan and Paul Crouch appear to make no difference on the reach of these ministries or the lives of their followers, he gives up on the beat and on religion generally. Lobdell subjects his faith to the rigors of rationalism. If Christians are no more ethical than atheists, why belong to a church? It's a curious utilitarian argument that sounds more like a rearview explanation than a revealing account of loss of faith. Still, the memoir's strength lies in the wrenching emotional toll exacted by the Catholic abuse scandal. If nothing else, it suggests reporters may have been victimized by the scandal, too. (Mar.)
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*Starred Review* Lobdell’s spiritual life had been a roller-coaster ride. During his late twenties, his marriage fell apart, he drank too much, and he cheated on his new—and pregnant—girlfriend. He was running away from responsibility as fast as he could. So when a friend told him he needed God—he suspended church attendance when a teenager—he listened. Slowly, things turned around. He secured a new job, marriage to his second wife went well, everything seemed to be falling into place. Attributing his newfound success to faith, he became a born-again Christian and, later, seriously considered converting to Catholicism. He became a full-time religion reporter for the Los Angeles Times, a job that exposed him to other faiths and to stories of abuse in mainstream religion circles, especially the sexual abuse scandal within the Catholic Church. Before long, he was wracked with doubt and stopped attending church altogether. “My long honeymoon with Christianity had ended.” Finally, he reached a turning point at which he concluded that there is no God. Lobdell’s spiritual journey fascinates, not least on account of the irony of his trajectory from agnosticism to belief to atheism while covering religion. It’s a story that may raise eyebrows among believers and nonbelievers alike. --June Sawyers
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William Lobdell spent many years as a Christian, moving from a non-denominational church to Presbyterian, and finally undergoing courses to convert to Catholicism. He was an enthusiastic Christian, praying and reading his bible frequently, attending church with his family, and working as the religion reporter for the Los Angeles Times. While most of Lobell's religion and faith reporting is upbeat and shows good things about faiths of all kinds, things start to change for him as he begins to see that oftentimes, the faithful don't live morally and that in many instances, there is little difference between the morality of atheists and the faithful. As Lobdell begins to investigate the child abuse scandal within the Catholic church and the antics of numerous evangelicals associated with organizations like the Trinity Broadcasting Network, he begins to ask more and more questions and finds that the more he asks, the less his faith can answer.
I found Losing My Religion to be a very authentic read. Anyone who has ever dared to question their faith knows there are only two possible outcomes: questioning leads to deeper faith, or turns you away from it altogether. And when you've depended on faith for many years, when you're surrounded by people who are faithful, if you turn away from it, you find it is a very lonely journey. People rejoice when someone is "saved" but few are as happy for you when you walk away from that salvation. Lobdell doesn't get self-righteous about his weakening faith. In fact, he seeks answers that could keep him in his faith. But ultimately, he has to go with what his head and his heart tell him.
Unlike Richard Dawkins, who can be patronizing to non-believers, Lobdell is respectful of people who maintain their faith. He doesn't attack anyone for believing, he simply articulates his own thoughts and feelings. He brings up many of the same questions that many doubters raise- the questions that either have no answer at all, or answers that are at best unsatisfying.
Anyone who has gone on their own questioning journey, and who has come out the other side feeling more contented and at peace than when they started will appreciate this read.
Another poignant extract (p.244): "I had changed in another way. I saw now that belief in God, no matter how grounded in logic and reason, requires a leap of faith. Either you have the gift of faith or you don't. It's not a choice. I used to think that you simply made a decision: to believe in Jesus or not. Collect the facts and then decide for your self. But it's not that simple. Faith is something that is triggered deep within your soul - influenced by upbringing, family, friends, experiences and desires. ... Faith can't be willed into existence. There's no faking it if you're honest about the state of your soul."
It is largely Lobdell's sincerity and cognitive humility that make his story so interesting; he never claims to know all the answers, only that the one he once relied on no longer works for him. A very good read for atheists and believers alike, I think the church needs to take to heart stories like this and rid itself of the corruption, hypocrisy and disingenuity that cannot possibly be harmonized with a God-based mission.