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Loss and Found: How we survived the loss of a young spouse Paperback – May 15, 2002
The 30 Best Self Help Books
This list reflects books that have saved lives and have sold millions of copies. Learn more on AbeBooks.com
This book would be useful as a resource in a bereavement class. I normally hesitate to recommend a book to someone who is close to a significant loss, but this is not so much a how to book as it is a work of hope. It says, even with what might appear to be an insurmountable obstacle, you have the ability to heal yourself. The healing process may be easier and quicker if you utilize resources available to you. --The Thanatology Newsletter
A must-read for anyone experiencing loss. I've interviewed over 250 authors on my PBS series. I was astonished by the distinctive voice of experience in this breakthrough book. Gary and Kathy s wit, wisdom, passion, and insight guide us through a warm and lighthearted journey into love, loss, remorse, then to new love, in a self-help guide to millions of young people facing loss. The light of hope illuminates the tragedy of loss, even finding humor in the recesses of depression." --Barry Kibrick, BETWEEN THE LINES, PBS
Loss and Found is the heart-wrenching story of two people who had children and families but lost their spouse. Each tells the story of their early life, marriage, family, and the story of discovering the illness and working through that, eventually losing the battle. They detail their struggles with the children, finances, friends, feelings of loss, and the other emotional roller coaster feelings. They tell their experiences with young widowhood and their introduction back into dating. This is Gary and Kathy survived the loss of their spouses at a young age and eventually found each other. Told from both the male and female perspectives and full of insight, it is sure to be helpful to anyone experiencing loss and looking for hope. Of particular value are the items in Appendix A. It includes the changes and fears that a young widow/widower faces and the thoughts/problems that they have to deal with. It provides a great point of reference for those who would like to help someone experiencing the situation. A highly recommended read for anyone experiencing such a loss, who knows someone going through it, or who might be in a position to counsel someone with such a loss. There is very little literature available specifically for young widows/widowers and this is among the best. --Harold McFarland-Reader s Preference, Amazon Top 50
From the Publisher
This is the first of four books in the group of support books for young widowhood. This book traces a man and a woman on their journey through widowhood. The following books will be compilations of several young widows and widowers, compiled and written by Kathy and Gary Young, including: 1. Between the Tears: The journey between tears of sorrow and tears of joy - 16 young widows and widowers, in their own words
2. The Next Spouse: Competing and living with a memory. 3. When a Child Loses a Parent: Monumental loss of the small. Stories, diary entries, artwork, quotes from children ages 3-21.
Other books soon to be published by Calabash Press:
Humor: 1001 or less Golf awards, citations, testimonials and other put-downs, by George Baulch
Fiction: Slingshot : madness beyond the constraints of time... By Gary Young
Pictorial: Beneath: The beauty and mystery beneath the seas, by Alan Kopp
Play: Interruptions, by Gary Young
Short Stories: Dawn on Cephys, and others, by Gary Young
CHILDRENS BOOKS by KATHY YOUNG:The Weasel Who Caught the Measles, Brandon Bonwert Learns to Believe in Himself, The Nine Lives of Cozy Cat, Everything was Spoiled Milk
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Top Customer Reviews
Anyone still harboring wistful thoughts about things like picket fences and romantic love will find much with which to identify in the couple's fascinating new book, Loss and Found. This true story revolves around, first, the agonizing death of two young people's former spouses from aggressive cancers, followed by the unexpected, exquisite excitement of finding each other in, of all places, a widow/widower support group. In the process of being drawn into this tantalizing cross between your worst nightmare and a romantic comedy, the reader learns a lot about not-so-attractive realities surrounding today's health care as well as the business of picking up the pieces of life and moving on. These are not the kinds of realities typically found among the self-help shelves of your bookstore.
Loss and Found is no 1950s-era soppy tale of "love lost and love found"; nor is it the smiley-faced, Pollyanna stereotype of Doris Day-Rock Hudson vintage. Mental health practitioners will be astonished to find a "survival guide," as the book is advertised, that manages to be funny, sexy, heart-wrenching and provocative - all at the same time. What readers will find is a fast-moving and, most of all, upbeat account about falling head-over-heels in love just when you thought they were, uh, beaten.
Upon examination, there's much to debate in Loss and Found for various and sundry experts out there who might be so inclined - the dubious ethics of advanced medicine; the insensitivity of law enforcement, social services workers, and credit agencies; the pressures of modern society to become sexually promiscuous; the dearth of help available to young widows and widowers; not to mention the success of an insurance racket in disassociating "health" from "care."
But authors Gary and Kathy Young leave any conclusions about such things to others and do not fixate on such questions. The surprise for most readers is that the two owe their self-renewal to their implicit determination to locate new spouses, not merely new "relationships." The intricacies involved in establishing such a bond after a 20-something hiatus from the dating scene - and in a new culture that seems to have turned its back on commitment - fortunately turns out more humorous than aggravating for the reader. One would have imagined, after all, that proximity to the nesting place of fare like "Ally McBeal" and "Sex and the City" would at the very least have prepared the authors for altered views about "singlehood." But Loss and Found is a hit precisely because it provides character insights that readers won't find in People Magazine or TV's Entertainment Tonight. Merely rubbing elbows with Hollywood's elite doesn't make the world depicted there real. Musical mates are not for everybody.
Perhaps what's so endearing about the book is that, in following their story, we discover as much about us as we do about its authors, Gary and Kathy Young.
Beverly K. Eakman is a former teacher-turned-speechwriter, now lecturer on education and privacy issues. She is Executive Director of a Washington, DC-based education organization and author of numerous articles, op-eds and three books.
Told from both the male and female perspectives and full of insight, it is sure to be helpful to anyone experiencing loss and looking for hope. Of particular value to those going through a similar loss are the items in Appendix A. It includes the changes and fears that a young widow/widower faces as well as the thoughts and problems that they have to deal with. It provides a great point of reference for those who would like to help someone experiencing the situation. A highly recommended read for anyone experiencing such a loss, who knows someone going through it, or who might be placed in a position to counsel or deal with someone with such a loss. There is very little literature available specifically for young widows/widowers and this is among the best.