- File Size: 1814 KB
- Print Length: 160 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publisher: CQT Media and Publishing, LGA Inc. (January 18, 2014)
- Publication Date: January 18, 2014
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00HXUDL7E
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,402,291 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Lost Daughters: Writing Adoption From a Place of Empowerment and Peace Kindle Edition
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Top customer reviews
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Taken in one gulp these writers remind us that being adopted is the singular aspect of their lives out of which everything else flows—just as it is the opposite side of the coin is for first mothers like myself: birthdays, family trees, motherhood, familiar traits, loss. Julie Stromberg writes about how comfortable it is to be with another adoptee because they can talk to each other in ways they cannot to others; Michelle Lahti writes her son’s assignment to do a family tree was more painful for her than him; Elaine Penn remarks on the moment she first heard someone say about her daughter: that’s where her dimple comes from—and referring to Elaine, the baby’s mother; Von tells how she found her love of cooking in both sets of natural families; Nikki Mairs-Cayer Pike talks about the scary, exhilarating moment she got the envelope with the name of her mother; Samantha Franklin sums up the experience of finding her first family: I am whole, no longer cut in half,” and elsewhere: “…We adoptees get mixed messages galore. We are a crisis, unwanted, abandoned orphans. Yet also chosen, special, lucky gifts. Our first mothers are told they are incapable, yet also heroic. Our very identities are “amended” to fulfill a role, and we’re expected to cut ourselves off completely…from the identity, heritage and family in which we were born.”
The book concludes with a longer essay by Amanda H.L. Transue-Woolston, author of the highly regarded and popular The Declassified Adoptee blog, of being overwhelmed in a college course when she was asked to speak critically of her parents: “I did not want to admit that my parents are not perfect when I had already been so busy trying to prove to the world that they are perfect. Reunion, and everything that comes with it, was my choice and not a response to what some people might assume to be parenting failures.”
Brevity demands not including every writer here—though all deserve to be—for their selection in this superb collection covers the gamut of the adoptee experience in all its painful reality. The editors—Amanda Transue-Woolston, Julie Stromberg , Karen Pickell and Jennifer Anastasi –have chosen well.
These are brave, strong essays written from the heart by talented, courageous women who pull no punches. Anyone not already familiar with the inner ramifications of being adopted to the adoptee will be blown away. In a perfect world, I would make every legislator who has not voted for unsealing original birth certificates, every adoption facilitator who makes their living off adoptions, and every adoption attorney, every clergyman or woman who has suggested "adoption" to a desperate pregnant woman, every adoption worker sit down and read the book through in one afternoon. It would change the world.
Lorraine Dusky of firstmotherforum.com
Again… Conversation can bring about understanding. Understanding creates interpersonal health.
That’s why I write Adoption at the Movies. That’s why the Lost Daughters write. That’s why people read stuff like this. We are all taking steps in the right direction in an emotionally loaded situation, forgoing polarizing polemics in favor of insightful, honest, and considered dialogue. And I think this is the road that will lead to healing for those who have been hurt through adoption, and to better experiences for the people yet to be adopted. Adoptees can find healing and community; adoptive parents can make better choices, social workers like me can learn to be more sensitive. This is a good book, and I hope it's joined by many others like it.
As one of the authors writes, “The more we can question, explore and understand the experience, the more opportunity we will have to shape the future of adoption.” Lost Daughters: Writing Adoption from a Place of Empowerment and Peace is an invitation to join in the shaping.
Susan Harris O'Connor, MSW
National Speaker, Solo Performance Artist, Activist
Author, The Harris Narratives: An Introspective Study of a Transracial Adoptee