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Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs Paperback – September 1, 2011
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Ethlie Ann Vare shares the stories of addicts and her own, as well as interviews with therapists [and] addiction specialists. Some of the anecdotes in this book are funny. Others are just tragic. This is a book that sheds light on one of the fastest growing addictions in our society and should be taken very seriously. - Blush Magazine
This book is awesome!!!!! - Margaret Cho
Witty, wise, and wonderfully courageous....You don't need to be an addict to enjoy or 'get' this book. It's a must-read for any woman who has ever struggled with love in her life - Carrie Borzillo ("Cherry Bomb," "Sinner Takes All")
Ethlie infuses her narrative with wit, irony and a breezy writing style - Bonnie Gabriel ("The Art of Erotic Talk")
About the Author
Award-winning author, journalist, and screenwriter Ethlie Ann Vare has survived four marriages, drug addiction, jail, and network television. The wit behind the hot humor blog Affection Deficit Disorder, Ethlie started out as a rock-n-roll disc jockey, then became known as an expert on pop culture and a syndicated newspaper columnist. Her books range from biographies of superstars (Stevie Nicks, Ozzy Osbourne, Legend: Frank Sinatra and the American Dream) to adventures in distant galaxies (Andromeda: The Broken Places). She is a featured speaker on campus nationwide thanks to her popular history books about women inventors: Mothers of Invention and Patently Female. Most recently she has been writing for TV shows from the ridiculous (Beastmaster) to the sublime (CSI).
Top Customer Reviews
I was relieved to know that there is a difference between Love Addiction and Sex Addiction, but know that there is a reasonable amount of stihgma attached to both. This is a frank, down-to-earth, yet scientifically-sound explanation of
Thank you for this wonderful resource. I recently went through an episode where I saw my ex drive by with another woman in the car, and I didn't HAVE to follow him, create chaos, embarass myself and him, potentially get arrested for stalking, any of the nonsense that could have been. I had the same physiological symptoms... my heart raced, my blood pressure shot up, i started panicking... but I knew what to do, and more importantly HOW to do it!
My own take on "love addiction" is that it is at bottom an existential, metaphysical, theological, and in the end religious subject (religion meaning "to bind back together"). I've had to learn that just as the guy can't heal, fix, make me whole, I CAN'T DO THAT FOR HIM EITHER--and the ramifications of that go far, far beyond "recovery." They go to my whole place in the universe, the meaning of suffering, where I am to put my erotic/procreative urge, the capacity of my heart for love. Only through letting my desire go "to the stars" (i.e. not around, but through and beyond the guy) do we both take on our true significance in the scheme of things. I'm able to let go not because I love him less but because I love a little more authentically...
At the same time, TO BE SURE, you have to quit writing 8-page single-spaced letters, defriend the guy on FB, and realize that your "love" is impacting his wife, kids, and career. This is where Vare's book comes in right handy. Her goal is to define love addiction, let you decide if you're hooked, introduce you to some fellow travelers, provide tools, and make you laugh, all of which she does in spades--though in several places my impulse was not so much to laugh as to hide my face in my hands and shudder, or cry.
Here's a sampling of her pithy, common-sense reflections/advice:
"Just because your addiction isn't your fault doesn't mean it's not your responsibility." "Substance abuse isn't about the substance; it's about the abuser."
"Love addicts have a pathological relationship to their own body chemistry. We are obeying physical signals we neither recognize nor understand.Read more ›
I totally recommend this book to anyone even battling with non-threatening emotions and "dilemmas". You may never even act out any of your issues but if your an infatuation junkie, or constantly finding ways to stop thinking of someone or stopping yourself from putting yourself in someone's way then you got to read this book. Distractions can work to some extent. After you tried all methods of distraction including exhausting yourself by staying busy and still come back to square one, a place of not being able to let go, then you got to read this book. Getting to know the root cause of why you cant break free is the key.
The truth does set you free ;)
Most Recent Customer Reviews
very good book complete with how to get out of the cycle of addictionPublished 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
Eye Opener! A must read if you are in a reoccurring cycle of Needing to be romanced & in need of a constant fix of the love potion from a new relationship. Read morePublished 8 months ago by Nancy Padgett
Amazing, just amazing, book! Wow. This book spoke to me on so many levels and helped me understand so many issues I'm going through. Read morePublished 11 months ago by PunnyJojo7
Good & fast read. Everything makes a lot of sense, especially given my background in having a PhD in Clinical Psychology.Published 16 months ago by FTC
Didn't have much practical information. Most of it was stories of folks that healed their addiction. Read morePublished 22 months ago by Reader4LIfe
Not until I read your book LOVE ADDICT: SEX, ROMANCE AND OTHER DANGEROUS DRUGS, did I truly understand love addiction. Finally, the voice of a love addict I could relate to! Read morePublished 23 months ago by shary hauer