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Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works Paperback – September 6, 1995
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If they take the various issues presented and discuss them fully and fairly, they will know what is working about equality in their relationship and which areas need work. It is not for those with namb-pamby relationship (just foolin around stuff) or those where one person dominates and wants to continue dominating - the risk of becoming equal may be too threatening.
It is not a how-to book. It does not have to be. It doesn't tell you how to achieve equality. What it does teach you to do, as I said before, is to think about what equality really looks like and how to check your relationship out.
If you want to do something about it, you will probably need other help. But this book will give you a handle on what it is you need to do and it should be thoroughly digested and discussed, before deciding what your next steps are on the way to having that sense of equality. I would be glad to discuss what I wrote with anyone.
WARNING: THIS BOOK MAY BE DANGEROUS TO LOUSY RELATIONSHIPS!
Pepper Schwartz shows how these seemingly sensible decisions undermine a relationship of true equality. She also discusses the benefits of a truly equal relationship: the deep friendship and trust that is possible only when the two people are on equal footing.
Through interviews with egalitarian, traditional, and nearly egalitarian couples, Schwartz provides real-life examples of how people can and have transformed their relationships into truly equal partnerships, with both the woman and man sharing childcare and decision-making.
This book would make a great wedding gift!
the book only gets 4 stars for it's tendency to have a slightly greater sculpt towards women who want out of a traditional marraige or relationship and are seeking other modes that include equality...from the men i know, there seem to be a good number that also are just as equally bored with a ho-hum wifey, or having to be the manly man syndrome, and are looking for an equal partner...
all and all, quite a good read...a step ahead of Deborah Tannen's book, "You Just Don't Understand", and a notch below Roger Fisher and Scott Brown's book, "Getting Together, Building Relationships as we Negotiate"...
"Love Between Equals" is not necessarily a step-by-step guide to building the perfect relationship, but it brings up a lot of interesting points that provoke deep thought about what is important in relationships. Schwartz writes about the difficulties, challenges, and possible downfalls of peer marriages, but she stresses even more the deep satisfactions that are expressed by peer couples. She compares peer marriages to traditional marriages and near-peer marriages and helps to uncover some of the mystery behind common dissatisfactions that are found in these more traditional and common relationship forms.
I want to be able to make informed decisions about my relationships. The more knowledge I have the better my decision will be. In reading this book I realized that I had held some preconceptions about marriage which could have eventually been very detrimental to my happiness and the success of my relationship. One of these ideas was that, as a woman, I would be the primary parent. I didn't envision my spouse as being involved in the care-taking aspect of parenting to the extent that I expected to be. Now I realize the value in true coparenting. It keeps parents connected to eachother and makes for a more cohesive family unit.Read more ›
I do however feel that she has some great ideas when it comes to the "shared child" and that regardless of how that marriage works out that only good can come for the idea of a share child.
If you do choose to read this book I feel that it is helpful to note that the classification of the types of marriages tend to be very extreme. It also contains many type-o's.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
You are requiring too much of my time here! I'm happy with my purchase. Leave it at that! ! !Published on December 11, 2012 by John R. Gray III
Dr. Schwartz is a professor at the University I attend, and we were required to read this book for class. Read morePublished on November 20, 2012 by Cassie
Love between Equals:
How Peer Marriage Really Works
(New York: Free Press, 1994) 205 pages
(original title: Peer Marriage)
(ISBN:... Read more
Not only is she a relationship expert but she knows how to write a captivating book and give you unique insight into your relationship, your partner and yourself. Read morePublished on August 18, 2003