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Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love Hardcover – May 1, 2008

4.5 out of 5 stars 94 customer reviews

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  • Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love
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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Is the honeymoon over?

Are you losing the love you once felt for each other? According to Dr. Harley, "After couples get married, they usually develop habits that destroy their love for each other. I call those destructive habits Love Busters. And as long as Love Busters are tolerated, love doesn't have a chance."

With this insightful book, you and your spouse can learn to avoid the six most common Love Busters that may have gained a foothold in your marriage:

• Selfish demands
• Disrespectful judgments
• Angry outbursts
• Dishonesty
• Annoying habits
• Independent behavior

Once you throw out these habits, your love for each other can be restored and your conflicts more easily resolved.|Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of His Needs, Her Needs. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. Dr. Harley and his wife, Joyce, host a three-hour daily radio call-in show, Marriage Builders Radio, and they lead Marriage Builders Weekends in cities across the country.

From the Back Cover

Are you losing the "chemistry" you once had?
Is sex becoming a burden?
Do you bring out the worst in each other?
Are you arguing a lot more lately?
Are you growing apart?

Then you need Love Busters. Marriage expert Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the six Love Busters that pull marriages apart and shows how you and your spouse can learn to avoid them.

You will see that once Love Busters are eliminated, conflicts over friends and relatives, career choices and time management, financial planning, children, or sex will be much easier to resolve.

The strength of your marriage depends on the passion you share for each other. So stop destroying the feeling of love and discover, instead, how to build your love with care and with time.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Revell; Revised, Expanded ed. edition (May 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0800718941
  • ISBN-13: 978-0800718947
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 1.1 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (94 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,847 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I bought this book years ago and have given it away ever since. The update version is even better and is IMHO one of the best marriage books out there. In fact you can not go wrong with any of Dr. Harley's books but a must to have are His Needs Her Needs and Love Busters. Dr. Harley gives principles for guiding a marriage into harmony and explains how to use these principles to feed or deprive love. He moves on to explain how to use the same principle to address and rectify almost every issue you'll ever face together by showing the most common injuries that hurt your mate. I've read hundreds of marriage books and this by far beats 99% of them.
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Format: Hardcover
"If you want to be in love with each other, you should place far more importance on mutual enjoyment than on trying to follow through on commitments that cause one of you to suffer." ~ pg. 214

Staying married can at times be very difficult in our modern age. You may feel like throwing your hands up and taking the easier route: divorce. If divorce is however not a feasible option for you then "Love Busters" may have a lot to offer.

Willard F. Harley, Jr. explains the dynamics at work in the typical relationship. He explains how our internal "taker" or "giver" encourages a variety of positive and negative behaviors. Throughout the book he gives real-life examples from his own practice. These are very revealing and help to paint a portrait of a successful or unsuccessful relationship.

Some of the topics in this book include a serious discussion about radical honesty, a revealing look at annoying habits and an extremely helpful look at financial conflicts.

Whether you are constantly arguing with your partner or you are in a new relationship that you hope will be successful, this book has a lot of good advice. I would especially recommend this book to newlyweds who want to beat the odds and stay married. You can either learn everything in this book from personal experience (the hard way) or you can use the wisdom in this book to build a very strong relationship.

~The Rebecca Review
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is one of the most amazing books I have ever read!!!! I feel like it was written just for my husband and myself about our marriage. It explains things so easily and anyone can understand it. I have been married for 34 years and have been verbally and emotionally abused for a good portion of this time. I have tried many times to convey this to my husband, but have always been unsuccessful. When I was to the point that our marriage was doomed for failure I purchased this book and have been unable to put it down. My husband is also reading it, which is an especially good plus!!!! We had hit rock bottom and are trying to pull ourselves back up. I love Willard Harley and his expertise....its like he has been looking at our marriage and he is telling us how to fix it. I will read and reread this book many times and recommend it to all the married couples I know. I only wish my husband and I could meet with him in person, but I am hoping this book will work just as well.

Thank you so much Willard Harley for such a great book and also for your website Marriage Builder's that got me moving in the right direction, and also for helping me to see that my way of thinking wasn't all wrong after all. And thank you for restoring hope to our marriage.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
We were at a crisis point in our marriage and I randomly picked this up at the library. It resonated so much with both of us that I bought a copy from Amazon to have to refer to in the future. We are also seeing a very expensive therapist but this book may be one of the best investments we'll ever make for our marriage.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
A wonderful book, full of insight and guidance. It really helps you see both your partner's conduct, and your own, from a different perspective - one unencumbered by emotions and baggage. You begin to understand the reasons why we act and react the way we do, and why things bother us so much - for example, why we can easily disregard an offhanded remark from a colleague, but rip up our loved one for the same thing. Contains helpful strategies for identifying, and hopefully changing, patterns of behavior (habits) that subtract loving feelings. Highly recommended.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Many believe that as the years pass people grow apart. That's all wrong. I understand why some might say the advice in this book is obvious especially to newlyweds. What they don't realize is that couples that have been together for a decade or longer forget that even a tiny amount of dishonesty (Lies told to avoid hurting someones feelings for example) can build up a huge wall that seems impossible to overcome. Years cause changes in priorities and you forget to put each other first due to kids, finances and other distractions. We have to re-learn what it was that made us fall in love and rebuild that long lost relationship.

If you embrace the steps and are truly willing to make some scary, sometimes traumatic, changes then you will succeed. Both spouses need to read this to work. At first it seemed hopeless. Within 4-6 weeks we worked through the bumps in the road of negotiations and started falling in love again. We went from seriously considering breaking it off to finally getting things on a happy track.
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