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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships Paperback – February 2, 2003
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Top Customer Reviews
This book is worth reading, not only for the information to help you grow personally, but to be more aware and understanding of others in your life.
Although the authors may be religious, this does not come across heavily in the book and would not complicate a non-religious person using the information and insights to change things they don't like.
I was happily surprised when I began to understand the premise of the book was not that simple. We all have the choice to love ourselves or not. We all have the choice to learn about our inner wounds or not. We all have the choice to try to understand why we are the way we are, or not.
This book helped clear up my ideas about codependency and the innumerable ways in which it effects our minute to minute thought processes.
Although I could not save my marriage alone, I did learn to save myself...
The concepts in this book were clear and easy to follow. Their many case studies made understanding very complex relationship dynamics easy to relate to.
There is not anyone who would not benefit from the teachings in this book.
I highly recommend this book...
While I am not as deeply affected in many areas "lost childhood", "abuse" etc. there are many concepts that were most helpful. I identified with "passive abuse" through emotional absence of my parents and the fact that I measure others' childhood by my own as the "norm" because it's all I know. Also tremendously helpful is the concept of "repetition compulsion" where I am 'driven' to recreate as an adult the home I grew up in - in everything from taste in decor to relational patterns with my wife and children. Despite the quality or lack of it in some areas of the home I gerw up in, it was nonetheless the place I found what security I could. I want that security again. I have been searching for "home" for many years and now I know why.
Other helpful chapters were "The Snowball Effect of Addiction", "Anger" and "Codependent or Healthy Relationships" as well as "Codependent or Interdependent Relationships." We think codependency is something extreme but it is a matter of degree really. We all are somewhat codependent, and this is at the very least evident in the degree of emotion with which we respond to others. Also "The Roles People Play" in which I could recognize all my siblings at different times in one or more patterns behaving in response to our pain (hero, scapegoat, mascot, lost child, placater, rescuer, martyr etc.)
Finally key chapters were "The Stages of Recovery", "Leaving Home and Saying Goodbye," "Seeing Yourself in a New Light," "New Experiences and Reparenting."
I have recently bought the companion workbook I intend to work through.
I have also begun discussing a few concepts with my siblings and am finding some reception and agreement.
Another book that's just as helpful is "Kids Who Carry Our Pain" by Hemfelt and Warren.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
As an alcohol and drug counselor I keep a copy on hand for my clients. Codependency is a contributing factor in substance abuse.Published 1 month ago by Robert
The most in depth book on codependency ever! I did a group study which began in February of this year. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Linda Dixon
Amazing book! It was better than I expected cz it was the used one! Arrived soon and plz read it!Published 4 months ago by Deena24
A very good book and much needed to cover sort of both sides of addiction and codependence. Very well written and easy to understand. Highly recommend for any and all to read. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Amazon Customer
Absolutely amazing book, it has helped me understand and process a lot of issues I've been facing with relationships and my codependency from a rough childhood. Read morePublished 7 months ago by seraph1919
Can't really comment since this is a gift for a granddaughter. Hope she likes it.Published 7 months ago by Delilah A. Angulo