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Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt Hardcover – May 18, 2012

4.6 out of 5 stars 323 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


Christi Paul truly shows the world what’s possible! She bravely shares her journey of making big mistakes, taking responsibility, and creating the life she always dreamed of. If you ever wanted to believe it’s possible to move past someone else’s limited vision for your life, then this book is for you! (Daryn Kagan, national radio host of The Daryn Kagan Show)

It takes a lot of courage to overcome the pain and anguish of emotional abuse―and even more to write about it. Thank you, Christi. I have no doubt it will encourage people to find their strength. Every woman should read this book! (Cheryl Burke, ABC's Dancing with the Stars, author of Dancing Lessons)

I’m a big believer in living with an open heart. Christi’s stellar writing and brutal honesty bring you into her pain and invite you to come with her on a journey that proves, whatever your faith, we all have what we need to conquer our fears. (Jane Seymour, Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actress, author, artist, and designer)

Life can place seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our paths, and it certainly does not go according to “our plan.” This one thing, however, is true: God has a plan, even when we don’t. Christi’s book is a wonderful guide to overcoming those obstacles and living the life we are meant to live. (Nancy Grace, host of HLN's Nancy Grace)

From the Inside Flap

Words can hurt.
They can also empower.

“I felt like I was being shredded . . . one painful, hateful word at a time.”
Like millions of other women, CNN’s HLN and truTV’s In Session anchor Christi Paul blamed herself for the emotional abuse heaped on her by her first husband, whose violent, profanity-laced tirades left her feeling as though she had no value, no self-worth, and nowhere to turn for help.

Then one day, when Christi was taking refuge in a church parking lot, the verse “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” popped into her head. In that moment she realized she did have someplace to turn after all. Holding fast to her faith, Christi began the arduous process of rebuilding her self-image and regaining control of her life.

Now happily remarried and the mother of three girls, Christi feels called to share her story in the hope that other victims of abuse will find the courage to seek the help they desperately need and deserve.

Written with both candor and poignancy, Love Isn’t Supposed to Hurt chronicles Christi’s personal experience with emotional abuse and shows how―with God’s help, some unconventional therapy, and the support of family and friends―she was able to break the cycle of abuse, regain her sense of self-worth, and discover what true love is all about.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.; 5.2.2012 edition (May 18, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1414367376
  • ISBN-13: 978-1414367378
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (323 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #477,125 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
This book is an amazing story of hope, finding peace, self worth, grace & forgiveness. As a divorced single mom of two, this book has been my constant companion. Christi Paul writes in a way that is raw and revealing, but also in such an open way you will feel like you are reading your best friend's journal. This book gives me strength. The exercises at the end of the book have been a brilliant source of therapy for me. She has reminded me that God's grace is MORE than sufficient and I'm worthy of being loved. Thank you Christi Paul for sharing your story... Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt.
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By Kim on January 3, 2013
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
After reading several reviews (and yes, I read some of the negative ones as well), I decided to purchase the book any way - mainly because it was free on my Kindle. What I found was a very compelling autobiography with a lot of useful tools for people who are struggling with overcoming anything negative in their lives. It doesn't have to be abuse. It could be a drug / alcohol problem or an eating disorder. The introspection is what is important.

Yes. This book has lots of "God stuff" in it. But unlike some readers, I wasn't put off by it. If the abuse she suffered would have caused her to come to the conclusion that God doesn't exist, I would have still enjoyed the book. The important part of her story is that it is personal. The stuff about God is personal. It's not about proselytizing or converting someone to Christianity. It is just an explanation of how she used faith to help her through a very personal struggle in her life.

For the readers who are upset by the "God stuff", I would argue that perhaps you are not as open-minded as you claim you are. If reading a personal story with elements that you don't necessarily agree with personally causes you to completely write off another person's personal experience, then I would counter with "why do you expect different treatment of your personal story that may not have these elements in it?" If someone wrote off your story, would you call them open or close minded? As with anything, I think it is important to give each other respect and allow each person to have their own personal, unique story. Just some food for thought.
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Format: Hardcover
As a radio talk show host, I work my way through about six books each week. I'm not able to read every book cover to cover, and yet, every once in a while, I find a book that I cannot put down. Christi's was one such book. I never found a lull, never looked away, never wandered in my thoughts. She had me from start to finish. Her stunning honesty and humble reflection compelled me to look deeper at the lying messages still embedded in my own soul. Not only is Christi's story gripping and well written, she offers hope, healing, and nuggets of wisdom all along the way. If you're in a dangerous situation or know somebody who is, read this book, be encouraged, and believe with all of your heart that God is with you, He's for you, and He will make a way for you.

*If you'd like to hear Christi's interview on Live the Promise, go to: [...] and type in Christi's name on the search bar. She was on Live the Promise on 6/1/12

**My name is Susie Larson (not Kevin) :)
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Christi Paul has written a wonderful book about Loving and Fear in a relationship. Please read this book if anyone has been in an abusive relationship, whether verbal, mental or physical. This is a wonderful but scary look into good relationships that turn into bad that involve alcohol and anger.

I watch Christi on In Session and have always admired her, but after reading this book I admire her even more! Thank You Christi
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Very emotional book. I felt like I had been put right back in my own situation. Even though they were different, they were so much alike. I like how she hit on the point that people "overlook" verbal abuse. How you almost have to be physically abused for people to condone your reason for leaving. How people stand behind God and say, "You made a vow!" Yes, I did, but that does not mean I can be verbally attacked on a constant basis and live in fear of that verbal abuse. Society, does not understand the severity of emotional/verbal abuse. It really messes with your head and stays with you longer than the argument. The turmoil you go through when you finally realize it's over. How you "do" hurt because you don't want your spouse to hurt. It's such a warped sense of understanding, unless you have actually lived through this. Then you move out, and the peace you feel is so indescribable. The eggshells you no longer walk on, is liberating. You do go through guilt, because you wonder how you allowed yourself to be in this sitation to begin with. How did I not see it? Others did....why didn't I? You do lose friends, but were they really friends? The unexpected people who support you is the biggest surprise. There is still a lot I'm dealing with and working out, but her book really helped heal a lot of places in my heart. I think it is great for someone who is going through this, has gone through it, or knows someone who is/has gone through it. More people need to be aware of how severe verbal abuse is. Words hurt, they stick with us. Yes, we are in charge of how we let those words mess with our head, but most people are generally not that strong at first. Thank you Christi, for sharing your story with me. I'm so glad you finally found happiness and joy!
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