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Love Is the Killer App: How to Win Business and Influence Friends Paperback – July 22, 2003
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“Tim Sanders shows us that being a ‘lovecat’ is a great business strategy and I wholeheartedly agree. This book teaches us the value of relationships in the workplace, and it’s rich with practical, effective strategies for enhancing and developing them.” —Philip C. McGraw, Ph.D., author of Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters
“This is not an ‘easy’ book. It is a genuine original. (And I know how overused that word is.) It will-should-must change your life. I know Tim Sanders—and he and this book are for real. Believe it. And become a (wildly successful) ‘lovecat.’ ” —Tom Peters, author of the bestselling In Search of Excellence and Reinventing Work series
“Aretha Franklin knew the secret: RESPECT. Tim Sanders knows how to spin it. In business, you get ahead by helping other people get what they want—it’s simple, it’s obvious, but it’s so easy to forget. Love Is the Killer App reminds us that maybe, just maybe, looking out for number one is not the way to get ahead.” —Seth Godin, author of Permission Marketing and Unleashing the Idea Virus
From the Inside Flap
ering what the next killer app will be? Do you want to know how you can maintain and add to your value during these rapidly changing times? Are you wondering how the word love can even be used in the context of business?
Instead of wondering, read this book and find out how to become a lovecata nice, smart person who succeeds in business and in life.
How do you become a lovecat? By sharing your intangibles. By that I mean:
Your knowledge: everything that comes from all the books that Ill encourage you to devour.
Your network: the collection of friends and contacts you now have, which Ill teach you how to grow and nurture.
Your compassion: that human warmth you already possessin these pages Ill convince you that you can show it freely at the office.
What happens when you do all this?
* You become a rich source of information to all around you.
* You are seen as
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In his method, there are three ways you can be a lovecat: share your knowledge, share your network, and share your compassion. As Sanders describes specific ways you can do each of things, I was most impressed by his passionate plea to read continuously and share what you read with others. Seems simple enough, but in reality, very few people are reading non-fiction books about their profession, and those that do will eventually become leaders--because they will be the ones learning and growing the most.
Being able to freely share what you are learning with others is the lovecat way, and doing so will help others to be successful. Educators must break free from our silo traditions. Though this is purely a business book, Sander's method of looking for ways to give and support others definitely has education application written all over it. In the end, I think he is right. Love is the killer app--the one thing that will make the biggest difference in our students and schools, especially if we define love as the ability to relentlessly meet the needs of the students in our care and support the adults who are doing this noble work.
This is an awesome book. Learn the importance of helping others in your work life (and personal life) an then learn how to practically apply these new skills. It's a short review, but the book is so good that more words would only dilute its greatness.
Word of thanks ... I first heard of this book from my friend Abigail. She said that it was the recommended book for someone "like me". When I looked this book up I found it was recommended by Tom Peters. Now, anything recommended by Tom Peters is sure to catch my attention. Tom says of this book, "It will - should - must change your life." So to Abigail and Tom, thank you both for encouraging me to read this book ... it definitely had a big impact!!!
First, I strongly recommend you buy this book ... it's a must re-read.
Second, you will get from this book practical tools to add immediate value to yourself & others, how to grow your network, and how to bring humanity back into your work and personal life.
Now on to the summary...
Tim Sanders means by love `the selfless promotion of the growth of the other'. For love in business Tim further defines this as the act of `intelligently and sensibly sharing your intangibles with your bizpartners'. By intangibles Tim means your knowledge, your network, and your compassion. Tim affectionately terms anyone who skillfully shares these intangibles as a "Lovecat".
This becomes increasing important in our new economy as employees, employers, partners, customers, suppliers, et. al. becoming increasingly aware and able to choose alternatives to you and me for their choice of people to do business with. Specifically, there are 6 benefits to becoming a Lovecat:
1. Build an outstanding brand as a person / individual ... a D.R.E.A.M brand.
d. Awareness (of you)
e. Mind's Eye - distinctive memory of you
2. Create an experience. 50 years ago mom's spent <$1 on ingredients and four hours making us a birthday cake. 15 years ago they spent $2 and made a box cake in less than two hours. Today we spend perhaps $100 throwing our kids and their friends a birthday extravaganza. Today's world is about giving an experience. Lovecats give their friends an experience.
3. Access to people's attention. We are multi-tasking constantly in today's world. Lovecats will tend to get 100% attention when they deliver an experience and a personal connection.
4. Positive presumption. When people like you they will tend to assume the best until proven otherwise. In the absence of strong connection people tend to assume the worst in our actions and interactions until proven otherwise.
5. Exceptional Feedback. Lovecats will be given honest feedback good or bad much more often because of the relationship they develop. This feedback helps them improve quickly.
6. Personal satisfaction. You can't be happy in life if you are miserable at work. Developing better relationships with others by helping and contributing to their work and their lives is immensely rewarding and adds to your personal success. Also, yesterday's model of success was measured by power, position, money, etc. These were achieved by tenure, making your boss look good, and handling all the dirty work. Today's model of success is measured more by information, knowledge utilized/shared, and impact / relevance. We are better able to succeed in today's model regardless of our seniority or tenure if we possess and share knowledge, networks, and compassion/relationship. We can impact others now and reap the personal satisfaction, relationships, and business success that tend to accompany such results.
So how do you become a Lovecat? It's simple: share your knowledge, connect your network where appropriate, and share your compassion.
Share Your Knowledge
You have to have knowledge to share knowledge, right? So turn off the TV and go buy some books ... lots of books. There is no greater feast for our minds than a book. I'm talking about books that give you ideas about your job, your business, your life. Books that challenge you to learn and grow. Books that expand your horizons and digest for you what is happening in the world. This discipline will add to your job, your business, your citizenship, your relationship, and your life ... and he means all your life for the rest of your life. (And it will become fun if you don't already enjoy reading!)
When you read books, study them. Make notes on the inside covers, notate the pages so you can go find the idea again. Slowly underline something you like and read it a second or third time, very slowly. Let the ideas sink in. Our brains absorb information at a rate that accommodates book reading. Take breaks every 30 minutes or so to let the ideas foat around in your head and really sink in. This is where ideas from various parts of your life and brain mix together and form "a ha!" moments. Really maximize the results on this!
Write a review of the book for yourself or publish it somewhere like Amazon.com. (Share the knowledge!) Review your notes from time to time to keep the book fresh. When you're talking with people and books come up, share the ideas as appropriate to your conversation and interaction. If someone likes the idea, perhaps even buy them the book and send them a copy. Insert the knowledge and add to others. This is not short term knowledge like sports scores or the weather ... this is relevant, long term knowledge that can change careers and impact business decisions. We all get a laugh and relax when we hear good jokes. We pick up and call the guy who was talking about the latest research and ideas on global supply chains.
Writing a review is both spiking your learning experience and sharing your knowledge to help others out. The ideas you are absorbing and sharing are also helping you in your own job, business, life. The quality of your decisions and actions are directly in proportion to what you know and your experience.
In summary, aggregate knowledge in areas of interest that matter to you and your customers, process that knowledge in reflection and discussion with others, then spike the learning by reviewing and sharing what you just learned.
Connect Your Network
Do you ever have the experience when you meet someone new and find out what they are trying to accomplish / their challenges that you suddenly think of someone else you know who could help them or is interested in the same goals or challenges? Ever tell the person you are meeting and then connect them so they can help each other or find some mutually beneficial results in such an introduction?
Well of course you have to have contacts to share contacts. So say hello to everyone, share the book you're reading on the train if they ask. Ask about them and their job, their challenges. Exchange business cards and follow up to say thanks. If you can connect them to someone of interest, offer to do so.
The old school idea is to keep everyone separated and your rolodex a secret. This strategy is not congruent with today's world. Helping people and sharing your network is the bridge to lifetime relationships and business partnerships. Sometimes this may even cost you in the short term. Honestly, it probably would have cost you anyway ... information is hard to hide today. So choose to help and facilitate such first meetings. Lovecats are always on the prowl to help their friends meet each other.
Warmly connect people as appropriate. Best is a 3 way meeting or coffee, perhaps a 3 way call if distant. Warmly connect the parties until they are fused, then disappear and let them have their own relationship. It's not about you ... it's about them.
In summary, collect, connect, and then disappear.
Share Your Compassion
We are all humans. Today's world of cubicles, HR policies that pit employees against each other, etc are all things that take the "humanness" out of work. Put the humanness back in. Don't be the person who is all form and little substance. Be the substance. Really be there for others when they need it. Work is a people activity and at the end of our days it is about the people we impacted and those that impacted us.
Find out how others are doing and how you can help them ... be a helper. Listen much more than you talk. Look people in the eye and give them your undivided attention. Remember, not everyone wants to be loved, not everyone likes a Lovecat. Handle rejection well ... don't be a needy Lovecat. Use the word "love" appropriately, as in "I love coming to visit you guys." Never use the word `hate' ... turn every `hate' into a `love' sentence. Like "I love it when we can solve problems together", at the moment when you want to say "I hate it when we can't solve a problem together".
As the relationship develops start moving toward a hug, appropriately. The shoulder hug is a great human way to say, "I'm with you, I support you, I care." CAUTION: not everyone likes to hug and touching is very touchy in the workplace. Be a smart Lovecat and figure out what is appropriate. A two handed shake is much more personal and compassionate than a one handed shake. Start small and build. The best human relationships in person and in business have a hearty hug when you meet and when you say goodbye. Lovecats understand this and they hug and use the word "love" oodles more than everyone else.
NPSP - Nice and Smart People Succeed. Remember:
1. You will get burned from time to time - don't worry about it, you'll recover very fast. The wins outweigh the losses by a wide margin ... a very wide margin.
2. Love has boundries. Observe and learn where they are and be a smart Lovecat wherever you go.
3. There is a fine line between stupid and clever. Being a Lovecat is not just about being nice ... you have to be smart too.
4. Bizlove is not always smooth. Handle the bumps with poise and recover fast.
5. There is a Lovecat in just about all of us ... after all people generally want to help and care about others, we just have so many barriers erected to this being easy. Use this book to refine and develop the Lovecat in you.
6. Keep your employees happy. Keep your customers happy. That way you keep your company happy too.
Tim spends several chapters evangelizing the need to read A LOT. While I agree with him that there is a lot of value in books, he then suggests that we use book prescriptions as the main fix to other people's problems. Although I read a lot, and my views are affected by books, I can't imagine myself quoting a book when a new friend describes tough time that he or she is going through.
It's a quick read and has some good practical advice on becoming better connected with the people that you work with.