Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ Free Shipping
+ Free Shipping
+ $4.99 shipping
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Hardcover – January 1, 2015
|New from||Used from|
Frequently bought together
Customers who bought this item also bought
Customers who viewed this item also viewed
About the Author
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
Are we all really so dense that we can't figure out that people show/receive love and appreciation in different ways? And would we really have such a hard time putting together our own narrow list of ways to show/receive love?
Here are the 5 obscure ways the author has come up with to show/receive love:
1 - Words of affirmation - saying nice things to the person we love and avoiding criticism
2 - Quality Time - don't think this one needs more clarification
3 - Receiving gifts - ditto
4 - Acts of service - doing things for the one we love
5 - Physical touch - yes, some people like to be touched - who knew???
Yup, as you can plainly see, it's a list that wouldn't be too obvious to most of us ;-).
From the author's own pompous proclamation, he believes this book is so revolutionary that it's the answer to societies ills as it will strengthen the family unit and hence our national unity.
What scares me is that we may have a nation of people so incapable of critical thought, rationality, and skepticism that they actually benefit from this type of drivel. If that's the case, I think our societal ills run far too deep for a book like this to fix.
Maybe if we spent more time communicating with each other instead of reading these types of stupid, simple-minded books, we'd get along better.
I really don't like Jesus sprinkled in with my self-help. Maybe loads of other people do, as is made clear by the glowing reviews, but referencing Jesus in a (pseudo) psychology book makes about as much sense as referencing a magical talking stump. Keep your talking stumps to yourself, Chapman. Otherwise people like me will pick up your book, and instead of being converted to Christianity (like I'm certain you're sincerely praying we'll all be), we'll sigh deeply and feel like the money spent on this book would have been better used for an adult magazine.
That all being said, even without the Old Man in the Sky and the Bloody Prophet, this book wouldn't have been much better. There's little useful psychology or anthropology in this volume and even fewer original ideas. The idea of the "love tank" is cliche and comical. People like it when you're kind to them in a way that makes sense to them? If you feel good about yourself you'll be a kinder person? Truly clever and inspiring!
Sir, I would NOT like a side of Jesus with my platter of triteness.
This book = Excellent for Christians with willfully undeveloped critical thinking skills. Not so hot for anyone else, my friends.
UPDATE: After several months of consideration, I wish I could give this book an even more negative review. Seriously. I found it in my closet the other day and realized that I dislike it too much to even donate it.
The paragraph above would have prompted me to give this book 3 stars ("It was OK"). But the two paragraphs below tempted me to give it 1 star ("Hated it"). In the end I'm compromising at 2 stars. There are two things about this book that really bothered me.
One: Dr. Chapman seems to live in Disneyland. The contrived Hallmark card image on the book's cover is a good indication that its contents are idealistic rather than realistic. He believes that we can get over years of troubles and pain through exercises that include watching ducks on a lake together, or saying, "Thanks in advance for mowing the lawn," instead of "I want you to mow the lawn." Is there wisdom to his suggestions? Most certainly. Do they fall short in the real world? Most certainly. One after another, he introduces us to couples who have come to him after decades of misery and threats of divorce, and within just a few months they're walking off into the sunset (presumably the one on the cover) to live Happily Ever After without cracking a sweat. The more of these couples I read about, the more I felt like I was watching "The Cosby Show" where life's problems are easily solved and everyone plays their part effortlessly because the writer scripted it that way. Dr. Chapman consistently sidesteps the real world where humans are complex and life is inevitably complicated.
Two: At nearly the end of the book I became outright enraged, prompting me to write this, my first ever Amazon review. A woman comes to Dr. Chapman and tells him that her husband dismisses her, belittles and insults her, and tells her outright that he hates her. Dr. Chapman asks what her husband's primary language is, and she says it's Physical Touch. He then advises her to have sex with her husband. She protests, saying that sex makes her feel degraded and used as an object because she knows she isn't respected or cared for as a human being. Dr. Chapman persists, telling her (quotes shortened but not taken out of context), "Your response is normal. That's why loving someone who doesn't love you is unnatural and difficult. You need to rely on your faith in God to do this. Read Jesus' sermon on loving your enemies and then ask God to help you practice the teachings of Jesus." The woman again protests, saying it would be hypocritical of her to sleep with a man who hates her and whom she may well hate in return. Dr. Chapman persists again, saying, "If you claim to have feelings you don't have, that's hypocritical. But if you express an act that is designed for the other person's pleasure, it's simply a choice. Your action isn't born of emotional bonding, it's born of doing something for his benefit. That's what Jesus meant." WHAT?! Jesus wants women to pleasure men for their benefit without regard to emotional bonding?! I'm sorry, I thought that Jesus taught us the opposite. From there, Dr. Chapman tells her that if she gives her husband sex six times in the next month, chances are he'll give her the Thursday evening Scrabble game she wants. I could hardly absorb this justification as I was reading. Dr. Chapman's end conclusion is that his plan is a "miracle" anyone of us can practice in our own marriage.
For many little reasons, and for the one huge reason of the paragraph above, I am dumbfounded that this book has averaged a 5 star rating from more than 300 readers. I find myself deeply dismayed that people are incorporating into their belief systems advice which is so unrealistic, oversimplified, and even outright degrading at times.
Again, the foundation of this book is a good one, and it's good to be reminded that we need to see and care about others instead of only ourselves. If only Dr. Chapman would build on this positive in a realistic and respectful way.