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Love Me Sane Paperback – Large Print, January 20, 2012
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The book contains raw, stark reality right from the beginning. The author doesn't disguise the agony in Stacey's mind by painting pretty words. She tells the story truthfully without apologies. I'm not certain all the intimate details were necessary to convey the message she was sharing. For me, the struggle inside her mind as she strove to come to some type of peace within herself was more important than all the outside events, even the events that ultimately led to her mental breakdown.
What I found most valuable was the glimpse of the inner turmoil, how she suffered, stumbled through recovery, and how healing took time and wasn't as smooth as the reader would have liked it to be. Just because a person is a Christian, it doesn't mean they will respond appropriately when solutions are bought to their attention. In addition to this, Stacey's husband/pastor wasn't perfect either, but was willing to stand by his wife of 20 years helping her when he was able, and going through some shifts in his attitude as well.
I understand how difficult it is for a person going through some type of inner tumoil to recognize when their grasp on life is distorted and their perceptions of life events are skewed. From personal experience, I know how hard it is to come to the point where we admit we need help from an outside source---that we can't heal ourselves. I also realize that the recovery process is not perfect. There are a lot of obstacles to overcome. Personality conflicts, toxic relationships, well-meaning acquaintances, co-workers, the church family and our own blood families all muddy the waters making recovery a difficult, time-consuming process. I so identified with the main character when people, events, and even she herself got into the way of her recovery.
I would love to see this work edited to remove the mechanical barriers in grammar and punctuation, unclear expressions, and tightening up of events so that this book would appeal to a greater number of readers. This story could be such a great tool in aiding others in their recovery.
Sometimes we manage to pull ourselves out of the abyss we have dug with with our misdirection; sometimes we try to kill the pain with drugs, sex, and alcohol.
Love Me Sane is the story of one woman's attempts on the road to redemption for herself, with her husband, with her daughter, with her God.
Stacey is trying to find her way back to normalcy, to a life not plagued by self-doubt, self-punishment. As a pastor's wife, demands are made of her that are still too much for her to handle—after all, he answered the call, she didn't; a pastor's wife with sexual demands being made of her for sex based on alleged biblical rights of a husband; as a mother who messed up during her periods of drugs and alcohol on things expected of a mother by a daughter now facing adult decisions.
It seems that no matter what she does, tries, the morass keeps getting deeper, constantly refilling with co-dependency, and yet resentments on all sides for that very co-dependency, with the ever present cloud of possible slippage into yet another a fog of alcohol and drugs.
Groups, therapy, collages, in-patient, out-patient stays for both her and her husband.
Women from the congregation paying questionable attention to her husband.
Memories of rape, of adultery; feeling safe with her husband; feeling that he doesn't hear her when she tries to share; sometimes feeling used sexually, yet consistently going back for more.
Constant appeals to God, listening, waiting for faith, Stacey's is a forceful tale of trying to survive what life brings to us, and yet also what we bring into our own lives.
It is also an indictment of the position of many women in our society left unprepared to confront life on their own, leaving them co-dependent, leaving so many of them lost despite efforts to correct past ghosts of the past that rattle about present day life and deeply disturb it.
Warning: Explicit sex.
Most recent customer reviews
This story was a very personal presentation of Stacy, the main character, and her state of mind.Read more