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Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs Hardcover – September 5, 2004
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Discover the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage
Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.
Today, you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. His revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.
Using Dr. Eggerich's breakthrough techniques, couples nationwide are achieving a brand-new level of intimacy and learning how to: - stop the Crazy Cycle of conflict - initiate the Energizing Cycle of change - enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of new passion
And if you'll take this biblically based counsel to heart, your marriage could be next!
About the Author
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, an internationally known expert on male-female relationships, presents the Love & Respect conference with his wife, Sarah, both live and by video to more than 50,000 people each year, including groups such as the NFL, PGA, and members of congress. With degrees from Wheaton College and Dubuque Seminary and a PhD from Michigan State, Emerson pastored Trinity Church in Lansing for 19 years. He and Sarah have been married since 1973 and have three children.
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Part One: The Crazy Cycle
In part one, the author overviews what he has coined, "the crazy cycle" which represents the vicious cycle that dominates so many marriages.
Crazy Cycle 101:
The husband does not love his wife as Scripture demands - The wife reacts with disrespect - the husband reacts in an unloving manner, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. The intention of the author is to demonstrate the effectiveness of unconditional love and unconditional respect.
Eggerichs spends a great deal of time developing the crazy cycle. He presents the perspective of the husband and wife respectively and spells out the pros and cons of their behavior. He clearly delineates the need of every man and woman, namely, husbands need respect and wives need love. He adds, "When sorting out how to slow down that Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don't love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don't respect naturally."
The key principle of part one is as follows: "His love motivates her respect; her respect motivates his love." This leads to demise of the crazy cycle.
Part Two: The Energizing Cycle
In part two, the author presents two models for husbands and wives respectively. Husbands are challenged to "spell love to their wives" by utilizing the acrostic, c-o-u-p-l-e:
Closeness - Openness - Understanding - Peacemaking - Loyalty - Esteem.
Wives are challenged to "spell respect to their husbands by utilizing the acrostic, c-h-a-i-r-s:
Conquest - Hierarchy - Authority - Insight - Relationship - Sexuality.
The author describes each element in details and provides good biblical support for his points.
Part Three: The Rewarded Cycle
Part three encourages husbands to love their wives regardless of her respect; wives are encouraged to respect their husbands regardless of their love. The author provide numerous examples in the form of letters and personal testimony about couples who have broken our of the crazy cycle and moved to the rewarded cycle. They have chosen to break free from patterns of selfishness and move toward one another in love - to the glory of God.
Love and Respect is an immensely practical work that has and will continue to bear much fruit. This work will provide encouragement to couples who struggle to heed the biblical imperatives.