- Hardcover: 324 pages
- Publisher: Thomas Nelson; 1 edition (September 1, 2004)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1591451876
- ISBN-13: 978-1591451877
- Product Dimensions: 6.5 x 1 x 9.8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 2,959 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #584 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs Hardcover – September 1, 2004
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From the Inside Flap
Discover the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage
Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.
Today, you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. His revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.
Using Dr. Eggerich's breakthrough techniques, couples nationwide are achieving a brand-new level of intimacy and learning how to: - stop the Crazy Cycle of conflict - initiate the Energizing Cycle of change - enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of new passion
And if you'll take this biblically based counsel to heart, your marriage could be next!
About the Author
Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, EMERSON EGGERICHS launched the Love and Respect Conferences in August 1999 Emerson was the senior pastor or East Lansing's thriving Trinity Church before devoting himself full-time to building healthy marriages. Dr. Eggerichs has a M.A. in communications from Wheaton College, a Master's of Divinity from Dubuque Seminary, and a Ph.D. in child and family ecology from Michigan State University. He and his wife, Sarah, live in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and have three adult children. He is the president of Love and Respect Ministries.
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There are few books on the market that are 1) as popular as this book and 2) leave me more heartbroken due to misinformation.
I think this book does well to highlight that love and respect are, indeed, very key aspects of relationships (for both partners, btw: women also need respect, and men also need love). I completely see how some, without a critical eye of the book, are positively impacted by the message.
However, the author boldly claims that connection and communication are principles that only wives are interested in (false).
Perhaps most harrowing, the author declares proudly that his book helped a woman return to her husband, who was abusive for many years, because she learned to "keep her mouth shut" and give him some respect (this is NOT how domestic abuse should be handled). He also shares a story where he was frustrated at his wife because she was frustrated with him for not getting a proper card (basically said don't get mad at me that i got the wrong card, just deal with it and don't get mad!) Another example that seemed particularly childish to me was that the author complained that his wife insisted he pick his wet towels up after his shower...
Half of the book is literally the author discussing the blessing his book is and how important love and respect are (it could be easily shortened to about 50 pages without his self-affirming stories or reviews).
Please, instead of this book, read: Love Sense or Created for Connection by Sue Johnson; The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman; I Hear You by Michael Sorensen...... Anything else. Really.
From reading this book I noticed by making small changes in the way I communicated and reacted I began to see big time changes in my marriage. This was just one of the tools that helped me out during a rough time in my marriage and I have been married as of today for 12 years, early on, I wasn't sure how long our marriage would last.